Mar 17 2006Mike Tyson buys an expensive meal
Former boxing champion Mike Tyson has agreed to pay a man he bit $275,000 in an out of court settlement. The man, Isadore Bolton, is a personal assistant to Don King and claims that Tyson attacked him along a Florida roadway while their convoy was held up in traffic. Tyson was apparently pacing up and down the highway, agitated, and punched Bolton repeatedly when he approached. After knocking him to the ground, Tyson bit Bolton, causing a painful bite that cut deeply into his leg.
I can’t help but wonder if Tyson’s history of man-biting is related to some bizarre mating ritual he picked up in prison. Maybe ear and leg biting is the way cellies get to know each other, kind of like dogs and butt sniffing.
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Reader Comments
1. krisdylee - March 17, 2006 3:06 PM
Maybe he's part Klingon... biting is a big thing with them right?
2. krisdylee - March 17, 2006 3:06 PM
Holy crap, I got first post with that one. Well, fuck me....
3. mamacita - March 17, 2006 3:09 PM
Maybe he's like German Shepherds. They're not aggressive biters, they're fear biters.
4. InsomniActress - March 17, 2006 3:13 PM
Chicken a la King.
Tyson chicken.
Tastes like chicken.
Somehow I just keep coming back to this image of cannibalism.
Or maybe the biting thing is just oral fixation. Mike just never moved out of Erickson's second stage of man. Yet another way that Mike Tyson hasn't evolved to reach the level of the general population.
5. Triumph Insult Dog - March 17, 2006 3:22 PM
Mike Tyson, what's wrong with dis guy, huh? I've seen Dobermans foaming at the mouth who bit less people that this guy.
I wouldn't worry to much about him, though. One day he'll hump the wrong leg and they'll put more holes in him then James Caan in the "Godfather"...
6. Feed_Me_Chocolate - March 17, 2006 3:30 PM
He's like a big gorilla that keeps on getting out of hand...where are the zookeepers with the cattle prods when you need them?
I think all the punches to his head have given him permanent brain damage...he's behaving kind of like a child would, by biting when he doesn't get his way or is pissed off because little Jimmy took his lollipop. Hopefully he's not regressed so far that he's now crapping his pants.
**Mike squats down, gritting his teeth** "Ughhh, hard poo-poo. Go away, don't look at me."
7. Spindoc - March 17, 2006 3:45 PM
DAMN! And he was going to use that money to finish his facial tatoo!!
8. xaputa - March 17, 2006 4:21 PM
I blame it on the tethans.
9. Sister Morphine - March 17, 2006 4:35 PM
Can someone run him over with a Mack truck too? Just line him and Tom Cruise up and WHAMMO!
10. Jacq - March 17, 2006 5:15 PM
If I could figure out how to type in a girly voice with a lisp, I'd have so much funny stuff to say...
11. sometimesboy - March 17, 2006 5:39 PM
Yeah...not a good idea to tell Mister Tyson to "eat me."
12. pickletickle - March 17, 2006 5:47 PM
Dogs who bite people are put to sleep, why can't we do this with humans? (if indeed Mike is really a human)
13. jagbag - March 17, 2006 6:25 PM
i thought he was broke?
14. Olichka - March 17, 2006 8:13 PM
People, you don't need to shout about being the first post, we can see it just fine up there!!
15. The Serial Cynic - March 17, 2006 9:52 PM
What happened to MY America? The America where in a man could mix up a refreshing tonic of hate and mental handicap and just bite somebody, if the temptation came up. I tell you, If we aren't careful, Mike Tyson is going to move to the Middle East.
16. Fatty Boom-Batty - March 18, 2006 12:04 AM
Another "friendly" Muslim. I think biting is a side effect of boxing. Muhammed Ali bites. When asked to comment on Mike Tyson, Muhammed Ali had this to say, "...*violent shaking*...".
17. Dee - March 18, 2006 12:09 AM
what a freak....
18. sid - March 18, 2006 4:42 PM
I'd simply kick his ass. He's old and past his prime. Muthafucka better know better than to fuck wit me. You hear me Tyson? You ain't nuthin...you AIN'T NUTHIN!
19. Redd Foxx - March 18, 2006 8:01 PM
When is Mike Tyson going to make a boxing game that combines real life boxing with a Grand Theft Auto sense of ass-kicking?
20. sid - March 18, 2006 11:40 PM
They already made that game. It's called Adventures in Smurfland, because Tyson is a wuss. He be playin' the pimp daddy outta da ring, cuz he ain't NO PLAY inside da ring. I'll bitchslap® his little ass. He can play his shizit with random insurance agents in traffic, but if he so much as looks at me the wrong way? BAM! I explode all over his blubbery little wannabe ass.
21. phox - March 19, 2006 1:48 AM
I wonder what Tyson tastes like...
22. gogoboots - March 19, 2006 1:34 PM
I can't help but feel completely terrified of this man...
23. Quiggie - March 19, 2006 2:54 PM
Mike Tyson is a Hannibal Lecture in dark skin. He needs to return to religion and seek God for help. ONCE and champion but NEVER again!
24. mamacita - March 19, 2006 3:04 PM
#21
Tyson tastes like chicken.
25. blackblackheart - March 19, 2006 10:40 PM
Yeah it's called "love bites", lots of cats do it to their owners while being petted and scratched and such.
26. URalllosers - March 20, 2006 12:28 AM
#19 Tom cruise is actually a hologram so hitting him with a truck is worthless. As for Tyson, why kill such an entertaining disaster? If he was half the fighter the sports world tries to say he is(was) he would really be interesting.
27. URalllosers - March 20, 2006 12:36 AM
#19 sorry, I love your idea! I was actually responding to #9. I can't read numbers.
28. AnnoyingPseud - March 20, 2006 12:48 AM
Most of the comments....LMAO.
Mike needs to learn how to bite his own toenails and leave human body parts off his main menu.
I would not be surprised if we one day find out he's been stashing dead bodies in his crawlspace, each with a little nibble taken out of them by Iron Mike.
Eeewwww.
29. ning_ning - March 20, 2006 8:43 PM
i wouldn't let him lick on me (you know what) that will be a risk, He can have a flashback any minute. LOL