Mar 21 2006Matthew Perry exceeds his genetic potential
Continuing today’s trend of Beauty and the Beast coverage, Matthew Perry is apparently porking the superhot Piper Perabo. Now, when I say “porking” I mean “dating” but I think “screwing”. God, even her name is hot. I think I’m gonna name my hand Piper. It'll be a nice change of pace from its usual name: The Love Master 2000. Or, uh, some other combination of words that doesn't make me sound like a pervert.
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Reader Comments
1. lysistrata11 - March 21, 2006 2:38 PM
How did Gene get this chick???!!!
2. Lala - March 21, 2006 2:41 PM
^ that's what I'm wondering. It's some sort of Jedi Mind Trick. Except he's not a Jedi. He's a Friend.
3. lysistrata11 - March 21, 2006 2:43 PM
"Mmm. Date me you want to..Yes..."
I think that was his pick up line.
4. LinguisticAnthro - March 21, 2006 2:44 PM
Did she get a nose job? It looks different.
5. lolpop - March 21, 2006 2:44 PM
Matthew Perry is as handsome as Piper Perabo is beautiful: both are exceedingly average. I have to admit, though, she does take the advantage of peroxide and makeup that the tasteless many find "hot"?
6. lysistrata11 - March 21, 2006 2:49 PM
#4- I don't even know who she is but do you know who really could stand to have a nosejob? The More Cowbell girl...I just noticed that her nose is very odd looking...
7. SuperSpence - March 21, 2006 3:07 PM
This is just sad. When I dumped Piper I knew her "rebound dude" would be a real loser, especially compared to the SuperSpence, but I didn't know she'd fall so far so fast. It's almost enough to make me take her back out of pity. Almost. But when she told me to stop screwing her sister, I had to stand up for myself.
Any chick who objects to me banging her and her sister clearly has mental issues. This Matthew Perry thing just proves it. Ah, life is tragedy.
8. Spindoc - March 21, 2006 3:10 PM
I can't believe that this is a bigger story than this....
http://www.prnewswire.com/cgi-bin/stories.pl?ACCT=104&STORY=/www/story/03-20-2006/0004323370&EDATE=
9. gogoboots - March 21, 2006 3:11 PM
Ahh so what?
10. Kevin - March 21, 2006 3:18 PM
Is that picture even her? She does look different compared to her IMDb photo:
http://us.imdb.com/name/nm0005305/
#4 is right. Maybe a nose job.
11. quibbles_quaint - March 21, 2006 3:19 PM
He scored PP because of what he's packing in his pants pocket - millions and millions of dollars.
12. Craig & "em" - March 21, 2006 3:24 PM
I don't understand why this is such a big deal. Isn't she still TAP DANCING on top of bars in the soon to be "OUT OF BUSINESS" Coyote Ugly.
She's do-able...but she's no Janet Reno!
13. Praz - March 21, 2006 3:24 PM
Actually, he looked really good on SNL. And, I wouldn't go so far as to call Piper "superhot." I was thinking more along the lines of "fairly hot." Besides, he's more famous than she is. And to the best of my knowledge, she can't act. Hmmm, the more and more I talk the better and better this match-up sounds.
14. SuperSpence - March 21, 2006 3:28 PM
These comments that Piper Perabo can't act are false and defamatory. After I dumped her she told me she faked all her orgasms. Let me tell you, that chick is convincing.
15. CoJo - March 21, 2006 3:36 PM
All this Matthew Perry bashing while DONALD EFFING TRUMP is on the site with his supermodel...
Give him a break, guys! At least he has good hair and a penis that goes up and down all on it's own!
16. LoneWolf - March 21, 2006 3:45 PM
Matthew Perry....is he still in show business?
17. Foxbase Alpha - March 21, 2006 3:49 PM
Will their combined tabloid dating name be PERRYABO? You heard it here first.
18. CoJo - March 21, 2006 3:54 PM
All this Matthew Perry bashing while DONALD EFFING TRUMP is on the site with his supermodel...
Give him a break, guys! At least he has good hair and a penis that goes up and down all on it's own!
19. supertwink - March 21, 2006 4:00 PM
Beauty and the Beast??? Are you kidding? She's cute, he's cute.... there is no story here whatsoever....
20. Italian Stallion - March 21, 2006 4:21 PM
Her nickname is "Piper The Pill Popper", my guess is she's in it for the oxy's, I can't think of any other reason except pain killers!!!!!!!!!!!!
21. MeganHarris - March 21, 2006 4:25 PM
I commented on this one on Popsugar.com.
I'm not going to get into it, but i think this relationship is going to be based on DRUGS.
22. DaveBenner - March 21, 2006 4:28 PM
I hate to bring up the sponsors that appear on this site, they make it possible for me to get free daily entertainment and for that I am grateful. Hell, I've even stuck up for the More Cowbell girl when everone was giving her more shit than usual. But CatholicMatch.com?? That's straight outta left fucking field, man. How many people who come to this site want to start dating a virgin? (Not screw a virgin, but date one, like the dipshit couple above and to the right.) Anyone? Anyone out there that's looking for pictures of Linday Lohan's side-boob AND eternal salvation at the hand of our one true lord and saviour Jesus Christ? CatholicMatch.com might want to rethink their marketing strategy.
23. hafaball - March 21, 2006 4:52 PM
Go Chandler! It just shows what happens when you play the same character for 12 years. I always thought she was a lesbian though...
24. Tha-Flash - March 21, 2006 5:03 PM
Go Perry!
25. VanillaSalTyBaLLs - March 21, 2006 5:10 PM
I'm down with DaveBenner.... NAMBLA's site would be more appropriate for CatholicMatch...
26. Jacq - March 21, 2006 5:21 PM
If we're talking about Piper, why is there a picture of Kristin Cavallari?
#22 - What?! A good catholic gossip?! On this site?! Unheard of. Maybe the people are like the kids in 'Saved,' but the pic looks more 'Beauty and the Geek'.
27. babyblueeyes - March 21, 2006 5:50 PM
Way to go Chandler...get you some!
28. Fawlty - March 21, 2006 5:57 PM
Piper is hot.
But I always feel bad for thinking that, since she looks just like a young Macaulay Culkin in drag.
29. Baysharam Guru - March 21, 2006 6:03 PM
So what if he got Piper Pair-of-boobs, nothing special here.
30. bakismaki - March 21, 2006 6:21 PM
I've seen a few of her movies, she's not bad looking. She's cute but not hot.
31. boredatwurk - March 21, 2006 6:31 PM
#7 HYSTERICAL
I think she is considerably hotter than MP. However, it seems like dorky dudes can get hot women, but never vice versa. Why is that?
I am curious because I would like to land Colin Firth or the guy who played "Angel" on TV.
32. Sheva - March 21, 2006 6:32 PM
Hit it Matt, hit it right until LA common law marriage laws go into affect.
Then toss her by the road near a coyote crap bar.
33. ebayfan414 - March 21, 2006 6:55 PM
Peek-A-Boo Perry!! I see your fake tan lines!
34. Binky - March 21, 2006 7:20 PM
# 22 I think you're right. Seems a bit weird. (I guess the Catholic Match ad placers may have missed some of the rants on the South Park thread - or else are trying for some Scientologists on the rebound)
35. bafongu - March 21, 2006 7:49 PM
I've beaten my face into an unimaginable mess with the ugly stick and I still can't get dates with the hot chicks like these daffy looking jamokes. How do these barely articulate empty shirts keep scoring the snatch at these rates? I'm reaching for the belt sander next....
36. becca11 - March 21, 2006 9:44 PM
i feel like this isn't extreme at all. shes not the best, hes far and away not the worst. and whoever said look at donald trump and his supermodel wife was right.
37. Jayne - March 21, 2006 11:46 PM
I'm sure she's in his bed for the coke.
It's too obvious.
Either that or she's pulling a Christina and making me feel bad for having high standards.
38. TaiTai - March 22, 2006 3:47 AM
I hate his new teeth. His old teeth were so much better. These look like dentures.
39. Nimuë LaMer - March 22, 2006 9:53 AM
Matthew Perry exceeds his genetic potential.
Sorry, but that says it all.
40. miadm2002 - March 22, 2006 11:16 AM
She must be slumming, MP is horrible!!!
41. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh - March 22, 2006 1:35 PM
Hey, there's nothing wrong with being a pill-popper/ cokehead if it helps sustain your most meaningful new relationships with equally washed-up actors.
42. Palindrome - March 26, 2006 1:17 PM
Matt Perry might not be handsome on a picture, but his character is damn SEXY!! He always has hot girls.. it's cuz he's HOT too!!! I would date him...
43. HollywoodSnark - January 9, 2007 4:36 PM
meh, he's not so bad...
44. icstupidpepl - October 27, 2007 12:09 PM
You MUST be kidding! A nothing like Piper Perabo has hit the Jackpot by dating a guy like Matthew Perry. Hot stupid chicks are a dime a dozen to guys like Matthew Perry. He's VERY good looking, rich, and famous, just to start with. Trust me he will tap-it and move on to a women worth mom's approval some day. But not until hes boffed every Julia Roberts out there. Can you blame him? Matthew Perry could get more women to marry him, than could Piper get guys to marry her! I Guarantee It.