March 21, 2006
Matthew Perry exceeds his genetic potential
Continuing today’s trend of Beauty and the Beast coverage, Matthew Perry is apparently porking the superhot Piper Perabo. Now, when I say “porking” I mean “dating” but I think “screwing”. God, even her name is hot. I think I’m gonna name my hand Piper. It'll be a nice change of pace from its usual name: The Love Master 2000. Or, uh, some other combination of words that doesn't make me sound like a pervert.
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» Claudia Schiffer bankrupts her cook» DonaldTrump has a baby
» South Park - Scientology Episode
» Nicole Richie picks on 11 year old
» Josh Hartnett getting a little weird
Comments
1. Posted by lysistrata11 on March 21, 2006 2:38 PM
How did Gene get this chick???!!!
2. Posted by Lala on March 21, 2006 2:41 PM
^ that's what I'm wondering. It's some sort of Jedi Mind Trick. Except he's not a Jedi. He's a Friend.
3. Posted by lysistrata11 on March 21, 2006 2:43 PM
"Mmm. Date me you want to..Yes..."
I think that was his pick up line.
4. Posted by LinguisticAnthro on March 21, 2006 2:44 PM
Did she get a nose job? It looks different.
5. Posted by lolpop on March 21, 2006 2:44 PM
Matthew Perry is as handsome as Piper Perabo is beautiful: both are exceedingly average. I have to admit, though, she does take the advantage of peroxide and makeup that the tasteless many find "hot"?
6. Posted by lysistrata11 on March 21, 2006 2:49 PM
#4- I don't even know who she is but do you know who really could stand to have a nosejob? The More Cowbell girl...I just noticed that her nose is very odd looking...
7. Posted by SuperSpence on March 21, 2006 3:07 PM
This is just sad. When I dumped Piper I knew her "rebound dude" would be a real loser, especially compared to the SuperSpence, but I didn't know she'd fall so far so fast. It's almost enough to make me take her back out of pity. Almost. But when she told me to stop screwing her sister, I had to stand up for myself.
Any chick who objects to me banging her and her sister clearly has mental issues. This Matthew Perry thing just proves it. Ah, life is tragedy.
8. Posted by Spindoc on March 21, 2006 3:10 PM
I can't believe that this is a bigger story than this....
http://www.prnewswire.com/cgi-bin/stories.pl?ACCT=104&STORY=/www/story/03-20-2006/0004323370&EDATE=
9. Posted by gogoboots on March 21, 2006 3:11 PM
Ahh so what?
10. Posted by Kevin on March 21, 2006 3:18 PM
Is that picture even her? She does look different compared to her IMDb photo:
http://us.imdb.com/name/nm0005305/
#4 is right. Maybe a nose job.
11. Posted by quibbles_quaint on March 21, 2006 3:19 PM
He scored PP because of what he's packing in his pants pocket - millions and millions of dollars.
12. Posted by Craig & "em" on March 21, 2006 3:24 PM
I don't understand why this is such a big deal. Isn't she still TAP DANCING on top of bars in the soon to be "OUT OF BUSINESS" Coyote Ugly.
She's do-able...but she's no Janet Reno!
13. Posted by Praz on March 21, 2006 3:24 PM
Actually, he looked really good on SNL. And, I wouldn't go so far as to call Piper "superhot." I was thinking more along the lines of "fairly hot." Besides, he's more famous than she is. And to the best of my knowledge, she can't act. Hmmm, the more and more I talk the better and better this match-up sounds.
14. Posted by SuperSpence on March 21, 2006 3:28 PM
These comments that Piper Perabo can't act are false and defamatory. After I dumped her she told me she faked all her orgasms. Let me tell you, that chick is convincing.
15. Posted by CoJo on March 21, 2006 3:36 PM
All this Matthew Perry bashing while DONALD EFFING TRUMP is on the site with his supermodel...
Give him a break, guys! At least he has good hair and a penis that goes up and down all on it's own!
16. Posted by LoneWolf on March 21, 2006 3:45 PM
Matthew Perry....is he still in show business?
17. Posted by Foxbase Alpha on March 21, 2006 3:49 PM
Will their combined tabloid dating name be PERRYABO? You heard it here first.
18. Posted by CoJo on March 21, 2006 3:54 PM
All this Matthew Perry bashing while DONALD EFFING TRUMP is on the site with his supermodel...
Give him a break, guys! At least he has good hair and a penis that goes up and down all on it's own!
19. Posted by supertwink on March 21, 2006 4:00 PM
Beauty and the Beast??? Are you kidding? She's cute, he's cute.... there is no story here whatsoever....
20. Posted by Italian Stallion on March 21, 2006 4:21 PM
Her nickname is "Piper The Pill Popper", my guess is she's in it for the oxy's, I can't think of any other reason except pain killers!!!!!!!!!!!!
21. Posted by MeganHarris on March 21, 2006 4:25 PM
I commented on this one on Popsugar.com.
I'm not going to get into it, but i think this relationship is going to be based on DRUGS.
22. Posted by DaveBenner on March 21, 2006 4:28 PM
I hate to bring up the sponsors that appear on this site, they make it possible for me to get free daily entertainment and for that I am grateful. Hell, I've even stuck up for the More Cowbell girl when everone was giving her more shit than usual. But CatholicMatch.com?? That's straight outta left fucking field, man. How many people who come to this site want to start dating a virgin? (Not screw a virgin, but date one, like the dipshit couple above and to the right.) Anyone? Anyone out there that's looking for pictures of Linday Lohan's side-boob AND eternal salvation at the hand of our one true lord and saviour Jesus Christ? CatholicMatch.com might want to rethink their marketing strategy.
23. Posted by hafaball on March 21, 2006 4:52 PM
Go Chandler! It just shows what happens when you play the same character for 12 years. I always thought she was a lesbian though...
24. Posted by Tha-Flash on March 21, 2006 5:03 PM
Go Perry!
25. Posted by VanillaSalTyBaLLs on March 21, 2006 5:10 PM
I'm down with DaveBenner.... NAMBLA's site would be more appropriate for CatholicMatch...
26. Posted by Jacq on March 21, 2006 5:21 PM
If we're talking about Piper, why is there a picture of Kristin Cavallari?
#22 - What?! A good catholic gossip?! On this site?! Unheard of. Maybe the people are like the kids in 'Saved,' but the pic looks more 'Beauty and the Geek'.
27. Posted by babyblueeyes on March 21, 2006 5:50 PM
Way to go Chandler...get you some!
28. Posted by Fawlty on March 21, 2006 5:57 PM
Piper is hot.
But I always feel bad for thinking that, since she looks just like a young Macaulay Culkin in drag.
29. Posted by Baysharam Guru on March 21, 2006 6:03 PM
So what if he got Piper Pair-of-boobs, nothing special here.
30. Posted by bakismaki on March 21, 2006 6:21 PM
I've seen a few of her movies, she's not bad looking. She's cute but not hot.
31. Posted by boredatwurk on March 21, 2006 6:31 PM
#7 HYSTERICAL
I think she is considerably hotter than MP. However, it seems like dorky dudes can get hot women, but never vice versa. Why is that?
I am curious because I would like to land Colin Firth or the guy who played "Angel" on TV.
32. Posted by Sheva on March 21, 2006 6:32 PM
Hit it Matt, hit it right until LA common law marriage laws go into affect.
Then toss her by the road near a coyote crap bar.
33. Posted by ebayfan414 on March 21, 2006 6:55 PM
Peek-A-Boo Perry!! I see your fake tan lines!
34. Posted by Binky on March 21, 2006 7:20 PM
# 22 I think you're right. Seems a bit weird. (I guess the Catholic Match ad placers may have missed some of the rants on the South Park thread - or else are trying for some Scientologists on the rebound)
35. Posted by bafongu on March 21, 2006 7:49 PM
I've beaten my face into an unimaginable mess with the ugly stick and I still can't get dates with the hot chicks like these daffy looking jamokes. How do these barely articulate empty shirts keep scoring the snatch at these rates? I'm reaching for the belt sander next....
36. Posted by becca11 on March 21, 2006 9:44 PM
i feel like this isn't extreme at all. shes not the best, hes far and away not the worst. and whoever said look at donald trump and his supermodel wife was right.
37. Posted by Jayne on March 21, 2006 11:46 PM
I'm sure she's in his bed for the coke.
It's too obvious.
Either that or she's pulling a Christina and making me feel bad for having high standards.
38. Posted by TaiTai on March 22, 2006 3:47 AM
I hate his new teeth. His old teeth were so much better. These look like dentures.
39. Posted by Nimuë LaMer on March 22, 2006 9:53 AM
Matthew Perry exceeds his genetic potential.
Sorry, but that says it all.
40. Posted by miadm2002 on March 22, 2006 11:16 AM
She must be slumming, MP is horrible!!!
41. Posted by oshkoshb-goshdammgosh on March 22, 2006 1:35 PM
Hey, there's nothing wrong with being a pill-popper/ cokehead if it helps sustain your most meaningful new relationships with equally washed-up actors.
42. Posted by Palindrome on March 26, 2006 1:17 PM
Matt Perry might not be handsome on a picture, but his character is damn SEXY!! He always has hot girls.. it's cuz he's HOT too!!! I would date him...
43. Posted by HollywoodSnark on January 9, 2007 4:36 PM
meh, he's not so bad...