Mar 27 2006Marc Anthony masturbates in public

Yikes. Classy....

J.LO not giving him any I suppose - not suprised as she's too busy draping herslf in bling (God I HATE that word but it was necessary)

He reminds me of a rat!!!

Is it just me or does this guy look like K Fed's older, shorter brother. Acts like him to. Creepy.

I agree with Hugh. I asked a Mexican friend how to say Kevin Federline in Spanish. He said Marc Anthony.

That bulge he's grabbing looks too big to be real. Did he stuff one of his wife's diamonds in there?

Oh come on #3, rats don't look like that.

They're cute, fluffy and smart whereas Mark is none of the above.

Ew, I don't want to think about where that finger has been.

And why is the trunk half open? Is someone in there, trying to escape from him? That's where he has been keeping JLo lately? Or their careers.

JLo rides in the front. Marc's heroin is kept in the trunk.
Anyone knows that.

lol damn he's really grabbin that sucker

I think he's telling the photographer: Come and get some, baby! JLo isn't around.

Umm... I think that he either actually is hard there, or we're finally seeing the reason JLo married him... >_>

He's always so mean/angry looking and seems to have the personality of a brick. I'll never understand what Jello sees in him. He makes my skin crawl...

@13

It's easy to understand what J-Lo sees in him. She lika de enchilada.

This is the test shot for the cover of the new unauthorized biography:

"The Emasculation of Marc Anthony: How Jennifer Conquered the Cojones"

He looks like he either has AIDS or a heroin problem. UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUG-LEE! Skinny and classy.

I notice nobody takes credit for these "Articles" (I use the term loosely!)..I wonder why??

He's hurtin.

Hmm, maybe he was using sign language, and asking for a little "pooper-tickle" action from the cameraman.
Just a thought.

# 17 Some one told me it's actually written by Kevin Smith, you know, from the 'Silent Bob' movies. But after glancing at the last post - I'm not so sure.

Now I know why they don't want Americans to drink the water in Mexico, they gotta keep some kind of edge on us, besides being able to wash dishes and roofing........

This is why we need tougher immigration laws.

He is not the only celebrity zombie out there...

http://celebrityreligion.typepad.com/celebrity_religion/2006/03/here_we_have_an.html

hes not mexican hes puerto rican.. BIG difference

#8 is right, he's got J Lo stashed in the trunk of the car, and her ass is so big he can't close the lid. Thus the junk in her trunk is also the junk in his trunk.

Well guys, he is spanish. So that obviously means the only reason he's in the back of an alley like that is because he's buying drugs for his Colombian friends. Or, that's the only place they'll allow him to record an album.

LOL@5. That was great.

With enough plastic surgery, he could become the next Michael Jackson.

LOL@21. Fantastic.

When did he get the right to act all "bad ass?" Oh yeah....after he hooked up with J-lo...Uggghhh...don't like him...but that's just nasty, Mark! Real classy...yeah

He likes greasy hair, too. Doesn't he? Uggghhh.

Is there a reason why this man always looks do unkempt? He is down right nasty looking...or perhaps he is having self-esteem issues like Britney has? Asking themselves everyday, "why did I marry him/her?"

^^ Omit the word "do" from the first sentence obviously it does not belong there.

#26 Marc Anthony is Puerto Rican not Spanish. He used to be married to an ex-Miss Universe from Puerto Rico. He looks like a rat, but he has buckets of money. Hence the attraction for J-Lo, to be dating someone who looks like a garbage man.

This guy, to me, has always looked as if he was dying slowly from something unpleasant. The type of "something" that was probably contracted while receiving (or giving) a ten dollar blow job. Hopefully he's already passed that something along to his wife and we'll be rid of them both before too long.

Puerto Rican, Mexican, so whats the difference then......Oh, Now I get it, your trying to say he stole the car...

i'm SO glad jlo didnt marry ben... but i never expected her to get with marc anthony...

i'm surprised their marriage has lasted this long... but yea what do you expect

and marc anthony always looks like he is on something... jlo should rub some of her makeup on him... she puts enough on to cover a 3rd world country

Did you guys see him at the Oscars? Sitting there chewing gum like he was waiting for a bus. Pure class.

I think he's saying, "I have one extra pair of socks and they're right here."

I don't think I have seen a picture of him in the last two years, whereas he did not looked cracked out..

Saucie (#39) - Or maybe he's demonstrating with the finger what he's holding in the other hand.

I think I saw him on a episode of "Cops" where they busted him behind a Popeye's Chicken huffing spray paint.

are puerto ricans not spanish anymore? I thought they spoke it....oh well

#43

Yeah, they speak Spanish. So do Mexicans, Columbians, etc. Here's the thing. Only people from Spain are Spanish. Other ethnic groups, such as Puerto Ricans, Mexicans, Columbians are not Spanish, they are Hispanic.

does JLO bring out the complete opposite in men?

Affleck: Turned into a somewhat decent; well dressed man.

Anthony: A (well he was always ugly) hobo.

Chris Judd: A lousy dancer who no one would give the time blossomed to a 5 minutes of fame/reality whore.

My eyes must be failing me. I thought that was the gas pump in his right hand.

Funny, he didn't look like this on the red carpet a few weeks ago with J-Lo. Close, but not quite this skeevy...and he wasn't squeezing his crotch.

...and that's why i like me some latin dick! all this homie needs is a brown paper bag on his head.

grease-ball and butt-ugly, nice combination. its quite possible he wears gallons of shitty cologne in the morning to coverup the BO from lack of showering. MAYBE HE HAS A NICE PERSONALITY AND THAT IS ALL J-LO WANTS FROM A GUY!

You'd think he could afford a decent pair of jeans. He looks like a Mexican construction worker who just got off work and changed into his "good" clothes to go the cantina.

#44
Go Mamacita! It's about time some people got a culture lesson.

Two words...
Rico
Suave

#36 There difference between Mexico and Puerto Rico is , Puerto Rico was ceded to the US as a result of the Spanish-American War. Puerto Ricans were granted US citizenship in 1917.

#52 thanks for clearing that up, my apologies, Not to make excuses but I did fail geometry. So they started stealing horse's first?

Ick... he's so... so... so cocky!!!

Haaaa!!!

nothing comes between marc anthony and his calvins...nothing....

I only have one question......Who the f*uck is Marc Anthony?

Guy looks familiar... YEAH, I used to buy tree from that dude.

That's for him to know and us to find out.

Or maybe we'll just stick with him knowing.

Good Lord, now I can certainly see why Ms Lopez "moved on up" from the refined, clean, non-greasy Ben Affleck to this goon. He's all a man should ever be.... if he's the posterchild for a hygiene improvement ad!

ah...now i get it...he's trained his penis to be a keyless trunk opener...

i hear it's also how he adds junk to j-lo's trunk while she's sleeping...

crazy beaner...(apologies to carlos mancia)

Yeah, but to paraphrase Mencia, everyone wants to differentiate between Spanish, Latino, PR, etc., but if someone put up a sign that said "free money for Mexicans", everyone would jump in line.

I thought that was funny.

Stallion, you're hilarious! Always get a good chuckle out of whatever you've got to say.

I've never been flicked-off in Spanish. Maybe it's just me, but something gets lost in translation. Who does he think he is, El Chingon de Chingones? Creo que no.

Maybe he just left Yack in de Box wif a pain in his chess and he can breaf. Fountain drink? Whatise? He's got your fountain drink right there, please pull through. Gotta love George Lopez.

#42- That was HYSTERICAL. Thanks for the entertainment.

His top looks like a hospital gown.

Cute, Marc is trying to show Jlo he is all man. If he can convince the people then Jlo will surelly believe him. Too bad that's not his phalic just a pseudo phalic.

Well there you have it folks. We finally find out the real reason that J-Lo is with him: His huge penis. I mean, I think we all can rest assured that Ben Affleck has a 'lil smokie at best.

Seriously, what does this guy have to be pissed off about? He's way more famous than he deserves to be, granted, having your soul sucked out by the evil thing you married has got to be a downer but then why should we care? I'm giving you the finger right back Marc Anthony, how do you like it?

He looks like a meth head!!!

Mi que no? Si, Si, Si.....ditto Jacq

Oh sure, let's split hairs about Mexicans/Puerto Ricans/Spanish/etc. God forbid I get classed as anything but white or caucasian. Guess what, none of my ancestors were from the Caucus mountain region.

So f-Marc Anthony holding his twenty sack. He can go play babaloo on his wife's ginormous ass. (Yes I know Ricky was Cuban, did you miss my first paragraph?)

That's not Marc Anthony, thats the guy who hangs out by the playground at the park. He always has candy to share.

nice grab!

I'm still impressed that he and Jhoe have stayed married this long...I like her more now that she got hitched (again) since we never see her anymore...its great.

Yeah that's the only way he can make his twig and berries look bigger. Yup, him an J Low are so meant for each other. Canti cabrones.

That's where he keeps his wallet from his wife, because she never goes in there.

#53, yeah, until the italians migrated! now, we all know what they do with horses...or their heads!

#70, what a dumbass, we are talking about nationality here, not freakin racial or ethnic identity. Being Mexican/Cuban/Puerto Rican is not the same thing, because these countries don't comprise of a singular ethnic group! Most of the people from these countries are 'Hispanic' but there are minority ethnicities/races too. Calling Marc Anthony Mexican is not the same as calling you Caucasian. It’s more equivalent to calling you, English/Swedish/Russian/French/...fuck it, they're all the same right?! Being Caucasian or white is your race, being an American/(or whatever country) is your nationality!

So... he's Mexican, right?

#76 THANK YOU!!! #70 has a giant stick up his caucasian ass.

To explain this to #70 in very simple terms I w-a-s a-n-s-w-e-r-i-n-g a q-u-e-s-t-i-o-n f-o-r #43. Read that in the 'I'm-mentally-defective voice'

#63 Jacq

Yes, I do have to love George Lopez. So, here's a joke for you. By the way, I'm Mexican, so I'm allowed to tell this joke, for anyone who might've questioned.

A Mexican from El Pasofound himself in Lubbock and decided to approach a prostitute down on 17th and R.

He asked her, "How much do you sharge for the hour?"

"$100," she replied.

"Do you do Messican-style?" he asked.

Not knowing exactly what this was, she refused.

He tried to sweeten the deal and said, "I'll pay you $300 to do it Messiccan-style."

Again she declined.

Being the persistent type, he laid down a final offer. "I'll give you $500 to go Messican-style with me! What do you say?"

Finally, she agrees, thinking, "Well I've been in the game for over ten years now I've been there and done that, and had every kind of request from weirdos from all over the world. How kinky could Messican-style be?"

After an hour of every possible way and position, she turned to him and said, "That was fantastic, but I was expecting something perverted and disgusting. Where does the 'Messican-style' come in?"

The Mexican popped a can of beer and replied, "I pay you next Wednesday when I get my sheck."

Now I see why Jlo married him...his package is huge!!!

Jacq an Stall yu wer so funny. Gotta say, he is the most Mexican PuertoRican I've ever seen. I thnk he looks more like a mosquiter.

You know, dating J Low really brings down you stock points. As soon as you give her the ring, your NASDAQ plummets.

Never really cared for him, but shit with a bag over his head, I'd bounce on that dick till the mutha f'n cows came home!!!

Marc Anthony's an asshole. And yet J-Lo is still with him. This leads me to believe that she probably just needs a man who can back-hand her when she gets too mouthy. Chris Judd? Ben Affleck? Pussies, and their dicks obviously aren't nearly as big as our buddy Marc-o's

that's not him, the guy in the picture is way too fat to be M.A.!!!!!

#46, yes I think that IS a gas pump (or something other than a body part) in his hand. Things aren't always what they seem.

Dude looks like Latino Skeletor.

Eww....

That was also. Too. Much. Information.

Yes, very strange. But the article is just how I like it! Short & Sweet.

yeah, what a perv...and he's got bad manners!

And who hasn't jeked off in public?

what jlo is givin' z not enough,
or may b she z givin' 2 much that he still
feels it in public
LOL

This guy is so fucking greasy I love it. It's funny when you see eomeon who is sweating bullets all the time. Like he needs to take a terd but can't do it...for years.

Great to see all of Mark's fans here supporting him. Can't wait for his next album...that one song of his 'la bamba' was great. Remember when he was in Menudo? That was AWESOME!. i also really like him on CHIPS and that 70's show.

Getin' Mark! Viva vida loca!