Mar 2 2006Jessica Simpson getting fat

first comment.

Oh shit.. Now people are going to start freaking out that he threatened to punch an ugly fat chick. =0

aren't these the same magazines that whinge about celebs being too skinny?

This is probably the dumbest thing yet I've seen on here, and I'll tell you why:
Jessica Simpson will NEVER be "fat" as you say. You know why, she has money, fame and and... excellent access to personal trainers. She will never go through anything very stressful, this divorce is probably the most stressful thing she's EVER been through in her entire life. In fact, this doesn't seem to be too hard for her to get over, I've seen plenty of pictures where she looked perfectly slender and happy (i.e. vacant look in her eyes probably means this emoion). Most people go through weight gain when they're depressed or stressed out about something. Jessica will probably not ever be "fat", she'll gain 33 lbs (if this is true) and lose it in a month. She's not 45, she's 25, remember? Of course mentally she's 5 years old (judging from her online journal)...so maybe she'll end up being a tub of lard eventually. However, this is highly unlikely.

Regardless if people think she is fat or not...I do think annoying fat chicks are one of the worst

She's probably not even fat, she's a size 6 now, is that fat? Like Britney huh?

#2 you took the words right out of my mouth.

#4 Jessica will never be fat because she follows the Hollywood Diet. The Hollywood Diet consists of narcissism, egotism and vanity...oh yeah, and plastic surgeons.

Nice source... News Weekly? Is that a real magazine?

She'll never be fat, she can afford anything, and her dad would beat her to death if she wasn't able to make him money...

Eighth comment

At least now she has some weight to carry her huge head! But #3, what you don't understand is, these magazines always put down people, because no one is perfect. Just like many people here. Because no one is perfect. because no one is perfect. There, I said it three times, let it sink in.

OK, 10th comment

Jessica Blimpson?

akapee, just give it up...lol

LOL Akapee! 'Hard to squeeze those out before someone else gets posted, isn't it ?

she is going through a stressful time. people need to just leave her alone. im sure no one wants a thing like what she is going through all over tabloids for everyone to read. just because she put on a few pounds doesnt mean she is fat. the tabloids talked about her being "too skinny" after dukes of hazzard and now they are talking about her being "too fat". they will never be satisfied with her weight or how she looks because then they wouldnt have anything to print in their magazines. whoever is in charge of printing those magazines should be ashamed of themselves for what they put people through and how horrible they make people feel about themselves.

Forget Jessica Simpson, who is that other woman on the cover of that magazine?!

Hi hilary, have you ever been on this website before?

33 pounds in what, 2 and a half months.. i dont believe it

we'll see on sunday when she's at the oscars if she's wearing a plus size dress

-.-

Oh No what is she over a size 3 now. Quick someone take her down she's such a fattie now. We'll call her Shamoo for now on. Or NOT. Because that is far from fat, yeah its not healthy to gain weight fast but come on on if she even did gain weight it is probably good for her. Theres to many nasty twigs out there now with all the Kate Moss's, Nicole Richies and Paris Hitlons. since when did having no ass and no curves become hot? It must be like doing a pencil or a piece of paper there so nasty thin. Heaven forbid someone in Hollywood gain alittle weight and be a normal clothing size for a change. Oh no she has curves and her ribs don't stick out, NOOOO Jessica your so fat, please.

That said she's still dumb as a box of rocks weight or no weight on. Maybe she can send some of that weight to her brain to replace the brains she is missing.

I don't believe this for a second... let me know when you get some real pictures, then maybe Ill believe it... what the hell would she be doing in New Mexico anyway... who makes shopping trips there? horrendous...

So, wait, if she gained 33 punds, she now...what, 99 pounds?

Uhh, isn't there already an Employee of the Month movie? Why can't these dumbasses think of something new?

#15 and 19, get a grip! this is the SUPERFICIAL. take the poker out of your asses and lets move on. and in honor of Akapee 23rd comment!

#15 and 19, get a grip! this is the SUPERFICIAL. take the poker out of your asses and lets move on. and in honor of Akapee 23rd comment!

#15 and 19, get a grip! this is the SUPERFICIAL. take the poker out of your asses and lets move on. and in honor of Akapee 23rd comment!

sorry, my computer had an aneurysm. did anyone think thats maybe she's pregnent?

Thank you #16. Who IS that nightmare next to her?????????

I don't think so downshine, getting preggars is yesterdays news. Maybe the new thing is getting FAT! that'd be awesome!

If you took Jessica Simpson and added 33 pounds of fat to her frame, she would look chubby. "Chubby" and "average" mean the same thing in this country, I know. But give me a break, it's not like 33 pounds is "just enough not to look anorexic," it's a LOT of weight.

That being said, I doubt this story is true.

She still looks better than her sister.

Maybe she's been eating too many of those cheesy bites from pizza hut.

Apparently two thirds of America is depressed...Fat girls always say that famous skinny people are skinny cause they are rich and can afford a trainer, blah, blah, blah. They are skinny because they don't eat as much as fat people and they occasionally walk around the block. I couldn't care less cause I'm a chubby chaser. When Jessica hits two bills my chances go way up. How do you think I boned Kirsty Alley. Fettuccine!!!!!

You know, I can't wait for the day that men are held to the same shitty standards of beauty as women: small dick? Fuck you! Love handles? Fuck off! Beer gut? Eww!

I understand this is "The Superficial" but shit! A (bony!) bitch gains 30 pounds and dudes wanna be all "eww!"? The guy who writes for this site better be HAWT! I mean, fucking Eric Bana/Taye Diggs fine. He's probably some fat pasty bastard sitting on his ass typing on a laptop at Starbucks lusting after hot chicks he'll never pull in a million years. Asshole...

Mrinali2Michika
AHAHAAH! YES!!

Anywho..
It looks like whoever made this shoddy magazine cover isn't getting paid enough.. because they have a severe shortage of fonts.. Maybe because this magazine can't afford someone proper because it's just a poor magazine trying to get rich and relies on bullshit stories about totally hot people getting fat..
Seriously I've never heard of this magazine ever.

Ok yeah. I love hatin' on celebrities as much as the next person, especially if they are stupid and worthless (oh yeah, that's pretty much all of them).

But whoever wrote this entry on thesuperficial said if a fat woman is annoying he wants to hit her?

Um. Ok. That's just lame. Surely the writers here can do better than this shit.

Removing this site from my bookmarks now. You guys have fun, this sucker takes too long to load even with DSL, anyway.

monkeyballs is obviously an annoying fat girl herself.

monkeyballs also obviously does not know how to clean out her cookies... In all senses of the phrase... I have DSL, and the site loads in literally one second or less...

I live in Australia and NW is one of the weekly gossip magazines that are published. IMO NW is the biggest load of crap you can get for more than $4 a week. I would take this article with a pinch of salt because the sources aren't credible and the stories they print are absolutely outrageous. The only ones that are the believeable are those about the local home-grown celebrities that haven't hit the international market. So that's prolly a bad foto of her or an old one, don't get too worked up.

SoCalGal420
Er.. guys DO have to go through this you retard.

Ever seen a channel do coverage on the story of Jude Law's bits? Yeah.. So have I. Talking about how small his penis is *rolls eyes*...
You're a fucking idiot.

Also, a guy can barely get anywhere if he doesn't have abs of steel... Girls all think they're worth more than they are and won't take anything that's not 20 times hotter than themselves. Fuck you...

YoYo
Thanks for the info on the magazine...
I knew it wasn't credible..

Well if monkeyballs leaves...I think we all should....Come on....let's go....come on get up...maybe monkeyballs is right....come on get up....Ok you fat fuckers just sit there and get fatter and get punched in the face see if monkeyballs and I care.

#33 + #39 Sorry, but you're both wrong. Guys do have to go through this, but no one cares about our looks. It's either intelligence, or money.

P.S. #33 - You're a bitch THANK YOU.

Never mind fat-Jess... what about Jackie Stallone on that cover! Sister's lookin' pretty grim. She's the new Jocelyn Wildenstein!

One can only hope that she's getting fat. Jessica waddling around unkempt, unwashed, and untethered, a la Britney, would be the sh!t. However, she's too classy to let that happen. And by "classy" I mean "overly controlled and micro managed by Creepy Dad".

If it's too good to be true, it usually is.

she's a perfect example of how if you are considered sexy you can be as stupid as you want to and people will smile and think you're funny, buy your albums, watch your movies, and stand up for you. don't need a brain if you have a body. its no wonder then that people will go to every effort and expense for that body.

Who are all these new shitty people with no sense of humor?

they need to die and go away

she'd better take a lesson from britney about what happens when you lose the only thing that sold your records in the first place.

#43, is that really Jackie Stallone?!?! She's one SCARY woman.

Getting fat?

She's been fat ever since she started.

I think she was far too skinny before!

The hideous trash bag also on the cover is Sly Stallone's mum. THAT is what plastic surgery, and going on Celebrity Big Brother will do to you.

BTW, New Weekly (NW) gets their info from their "sister" magazine - but I can't remember if that's People or US Weekly - one of the two... there's another weekly over here that is the sister mag of the other one. Horribly trashy and never accurate, but nonetheless it wastes a hour of my day. :)

Sir Mix-A-Lot once said... I like'em big and round...

I'll take fat Jessica Simpson any day! I'd change that heffer's name to fatjessica...

I loathe to defend Jessica Simpson...but that's clearly a picture of her from a few years ago before she lost a buncha weight (you can tell by the hair) photo shopped onto somebody else's body.

Yup, that's Jackie Stallone. They euthanize dogs for less.

BTW, New Weekly is my favourite weekly read. Every word they print is true and every picture published totally isn't photoshopped. Just like every other tabloid mag.

Why is Jackie Stallone's eye like that?? Her surgeon should be sued.

I want to punch her too, for being such a hypocrit. "NW reports that Jessica Simpson is so distressed over Nick Lachey dating so many women..." Has she forgotten that she's been out whoring all over town too? Lets see, she's been with Jude Law, Adam Levine, her dad, the guy that's producing the new movie she's filming, Oh what's that? The producer is her dad? Well put him on the list twice then.

I like her plumper. Hopefully she gained back that weight she lost before the Dukes and her deflated titties have been pumped back up.

I'd hit that. (I know the picture is phony though.)

Sheet, just watching the 'BRIT AWARDS" 2006. Holy 'H' - Prince can still rock!!!! There may be still hope for the ol' USA !!!
(After watching Clooney movies, and 'Why we Fight' I almost bailed this chip stand !! )
Sorry - am I off topic again ?

By the way - watch 'Why we Fight'
(from a Canadian friend)

Does this editor think he is really funny?

#62 No - he just works for the "Military Industrial Complex"

...and is a bit lame today

Wazzup HollyDevilBlackShevaLone. Oh Boy, here it goes again. Oh, by the way, Black #39, it's not the body that the ho's want, it's what's in the mans back pocket, or his garage, or his stock options, etc. Chicks will bone a hyena if he has enough money. That's why I like cute poor guys who can fuck me silly.

PS, Praz, I love YOU now!!!!

#33
SoCalGal you are too funny!!!I would LOVE a peek at said Ed.'s package just to see if you are right.

It's an Australian magazine. The use of kilograms instead of pounds would suggest it's not a US publication. It does make me laugh that the actual amount of weight she has lost is assumed. "Ah yes, looks like precisely 15kg to me Mr Editor; we have our headline!"

der i mean the amount of weight she has GAINED; not lost (very hungover...)

SoCalGal is upset cuz she's freakin Fugly in a town full of hot California girls.

As for Jessica, I'd do her anyday, even if she gets a little hefty, just for the stimulating post-sex conversation we would share.

"....And when an ugly fat woman gets annoying, the chances of their face meeting my fist increases by 300%."

RETRACT THIS STATEMENT, YOU ARE ENCOURAGING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!!!!
I am a 29 yr. old male, I am married, and a regular reader of this site. I feel that this last sentence is uncalled for!
You guys USUALLY are funny, but this is just not funny at all!
YOU ARE WRONG. The rest of the story is kinda funny, I like the Britney jab about Chubby Ave, but that shit ain't cool!

You like to hit annoying fat chicks? First of all, what are you doing around them if you don't like them? Secondly, I hope you hit a crazy fat chick, and then she cuts your dick off when you are sleeping.

#71 {he's (?) gone 48 hours without a Paris Hilton story and this is 'withdrawal}
But...things have never been the same since I found out the 'Half Head' at the top of the page wasn't the superficial person...and then Don Knots died...so .... so...send $ ...

I don't think you can buy even one treadmill for $1300...

I'm more upset with the other story - Plastic Surgery Gone Wrong. That woman seems perfecty fine to me. And by "perfectly fine", i mean, "dear God, if that thing ever pops up at the foot of my bed, there goes the clean sheets".

Relax people I talked just talked to Al Gore, inventor of the Internet, and he assured me no annoying, ugly fat chicks have been harmed as a result of this post.

Yet

So just relax

Recent pic of Jessica Simpson!!!

http://static.flickr.com/33/50125370_cd8647fd4d.jpg

At least she's trying!

Three words:

Anna Nicole Smith.

Three words:

Anna Nicole Smith.

i just hope she gets as sexy as britney. you know, with the cheeto residue on her lips and all.

i think we've pretty much run the gamut of all the things we could say about baby jessica. she's as dull (and as smart) as dishwater and a can of chicken of the sea. i rest my case on the point i made earlier, she'll never be fat...

i miss the old editor :(

It's funny how people like Jessica are the ones that we are so quick to jump on where people like Jessica Alba are fawned all over. She isn't even sexy in a good way just in a stuck up bitch way.

She doesn't have the sex appeal that Britney had and she doesn't look nice just bitchy. I don't want to see her anywhere ever - Jessica at least makes good news and she was interesting and likeable in her show, not with a face like a squashed pug! (Yes that is you Jessica Alba)

It's funny how people like Jessica Simpson are the ones that we are so quick to jump on where people like Jessica Alba are fawned all over. She isn't even sexy in a good way just in a stuck up bitch way.

She doesn't have the sex appeal that Britney had and she doesn't look nice just bitchy. I don't want to see her anywhere ever - Jessica Simpson at least makes good news and she was interesting and likeable in her show, not with a face like a squashed pug! (Yes that is you Jessica Alba)

As a subscriber to NW, I can vouch for its journalistic integrity. In this case, it has conservatively estimated Jessica Simpson's weight gain at 15 kg, whereas the whisper number (which is likely more accurate) is 30 kg. This, therefore, illustrates NW's high standards, insofar as it will only publish data that it has proved conclusively by its rigorous scientific means.

Now, if you will excuse me, I am going to defecate on a photo of James Lipton.

#76: I hate you. I absolutely hate you. I will never click a link again. I'm not fat but I'll probably start a diet in the next ten seconds or so becuase the only recourse left to me after viewing this pic is to become an anorexic.

Thanks!

Is that the best pic you could muster? If she's checking in to Chub Class, I need to actually see the pork.

SoCalGal420, good to see you're posting again! :)

oOH! a LadeeBug sighting! I was getting worried there.....

i'll comfort that so-called fatty and her checkbook.

#83 - jessica alba isn't sexy? face like a pug? dude, is your shit not working? did your viagra refill runout? take one look at this pic:

http://www.cfox.com/shared/corus_content/cfoxfm/images/general_content/jessica-alba-0105-003.jpg

if that doesn't do it for you, you might as well donate your pecker to science. trust me, it will do more good there than what it's not doing for you now.

Check out this Jessica Alba Pic

http://jessicaalba.fanhost.com/gallery/albums/Candids/Bikini2/beach12.jpg

Holy Shit...No fatties on this beach.

This story's bs. There's a picture of her on People.com filming her new movie, and she's definitely not fat. Stupid and talentless? Yes. But not fat.

#71 is so right.

I love snarky celebrity comments. But when you start thinking that talking about hitting people is funny, you're just lame. How old is this editor, 12?

You guys take this site far too seriously.

do you think that when kfed hit on her, he actually knocked her up? maybe her baby and brits baby will do a duet of papa don't preach in a few years.

--"since when did having no ass and no curves become hot? It must be like doing a pencil or a piece of paper there so nasty thin."--

Someone here (i forget who.. you people all mishmash into the same person in my head) said it best one day, in regards to hollywood annorexia, when they said having sex with them would be like "sticking your dick in a burlap sack filled with antlers".

doesn't look fat in these pictures taken 2 weeks ago:

http://www.jsimpson.net/thumbnails.php?album=993

not fat to me:
http://www.jsimpson.net/displayimage.php?album=1008&pos=0

(taken a few days ago)

#93 BenRad -- thanks for being the voice of reason on this one. Although I'm kind of enjoying watching the Fun Police lose their shit over this one. Do you think they're angry that someone would suggest hitting a woman, or do you think it's specifically related to fat women getting hit?

#98, it's the suggestion of hitting anyone. It's not so much that I object to talking about hitting someone. I object to it just not being funny. Shit, I come here for giggles, so I hate it when it's lame.

And some of you guys are utterly obsessed with fat women, which stars are fat, which posters are fat, etc. Okay, very mildly interesting, but I'd rather be reading about some truly juicy gossip.

I'm ready to nominate this as the best Superficial post ever, just for the comments it has engendered.

You're right, though, about the fat posts. I mean, this site has always been a bastion of classy gossip -- whether so and so is a total slut, what starlets are worthy of stalking, random speculation as to whether someone is gay -- what a shame that it has stooped to making fun of fattie mcfatties, who obviously have no control over their weight. Shame on you, Superficial, shame on you.

lol ..Every link to Alba posted by you dudes is doggie-style with her ass smiling at the camera. Do you even know what her face looks like?

Fatimmy and Bleeding Ballz - were those pics of Alba's face?

wow this HAS to be the stupidest thing i have read. she's not fat, not will she ever be fat. even if she got a tad fat, she would lose it that week. she takes one bad picture where she look a little heavier than she normally does and all of a sudden she gains 33lbs. and how exactly does this magazine know this? did jessica tell them? effing morons.

Hey, #4...

Take everything you ever said, change "Jessica" to "Britney" and you'll realize that what you put is absolute horseshit. Famous people, pampered people, all get fat.

And before you jump all over me about how Brit had a baby, so did I and a bunch of other people who didn't let themselves go to absolute pot. Eating for two is not literal!

#33 ur an idiot...all of you that are wondering what this magazine is and why u havent seen it is becasue its an Australian mag..and its a stupid gossip equivelant to star....and Eric bana (also Australian) is desirable us ozzies love him because he is so humble and funny and from full frontal.

ur all getting to worked up...never had a celebrity get called fat before...and its a gossip mag not meant to be taken too seriously so just look at it and laugh and thank god its not u.

You know, if you were a better author, you would have taken this tip and spun it into a pregnant scandal story.

Jessica Simpsons pregnant--with Johnny Knoxville's child? Hopefully, hecomes up with a better nickname than he did with his last child. What is it, you ask? Chickenbutt. Who the hell calls their child chickenbutt??

Oh yes, and let's not forget the mandatory quip about her not realizing that she's missing certain events once a month...

"Oh shoot, is that why I wasn't having any periods? What do you mean you're not a doctor, and that's not a tongue depressor?"
And if you switch "tongue depressor" with penis, you'll have a fairly intelligent comment coming from Ms. Simpson.

Why does anyone need a PAIR of treadmills? Don't they have the exact same purpose???

Mm-MMM! Gotta love the commentary: "And when an ugly fat woman gets annoying, the chances of their face meeting my fist increases by 300%.""

Is that because she's fat, or because she's annoying, or because you're a braindead dipwad who thinks talking about beating up on women makes your weenie bigger, moron??

#109- I would guess so she can work out with her friend. But I can't imagine what kind of pieces of crap she's getting for that price.

I think at least 5 of those kg are in her hugely expanding lips!

"dear God, if that thing ever pops up at the foot of my bed, there goes the clean sheets."

#74... i totally agree. that woman's horrendous...

#76... i also hate you. MY GOD... it took half a sec. to get there... then I freaked the hell out, and it took forever to get out.

BIG WHOOP! Oh my gawd, she's fat?

SHE'S A HUMAN! WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?

Redneck rehab prevails. Congrats to Jessica, she's semi-healthy and gorgeous once again. Three cheers. Absolutely grotesque before she gained the weight back. I dunno what guys see interesting or what feelings of attraction they could have to what resembles a nearly 6 foot long strip of dried-up beef jerky.

Redneck rehab prevails. She's healthy again. She looks wonderful, and glowing, as a woman should look. I, and most others (including men), still don't comprehend the attraction of a man to a 5 foot 9 strip of dried-up beef jerky, that has been, for one, in the sun too long, and two, has lips that are more silver than mexican's ass. Mexican's are beautiful people don't get me wrong.

Fish, blup blup.

This is so dumb. The reason she looks fat in this picture is because she is filming a movie and has to play a pregnant women. See:http://www.sweetkisses.net/images/santafemar706hq/

Hey you know what i noticed about Jessica Simpson...She reminds me of a new day and age Farrah Faucet. They sort of resemble each other and are the most saught after blonde bombshells of their time!!!!

I like her.
She will always be hot!
forever!!!