March 8, 2006

Britney Spears never leaves the beach

britney-spears-beach1.jpg

Is there a celebrity that's had a faster fall from hotness than Britney Spears? Just a few short years ago, she was galavanting around in a skimpy cheerleading outfit, expressing her need to be physically dominated. A short time later, she declared that she wasn't as innocent as we all first assumed, showing off her body in a red leather outfit in the process. And then, to fill up the mental masturbatorial image banks of teenagers across the world, she made out with Madonna.

Then K-Fed came around and the Britney we're left with is a large, out-of-shape, white-trash version of the pop superstar who's always at the beach and, horrifyingly, always wearing skimpy clothing. It's like a caterpillar undergoing metamorphosis, only instead of turning into a beautiful butterfly it turns into a Cheeto-loving beached whale.

Some more aqua-Britney photos for your viewing pleasure after the jump.

britney-spears-beach2.jpg

Source


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Comments

Love the description of her career.

Is she barefoot and pregnant again?

I still hit that....but with a condom since K-Fed has been there.....

That story brought a tear to my eye... for many reasons...

Unfortunately, a lot of women with a gut (be it pregnancy-induced or not) don't understand that nobody else wants to see it.

Her shoulders look like a linebacker's in that last pic. Holy crap.

I still hit it...but with a condom since K-Fed has been there.....

1. Ugh
2. all I know, if I am ever with child, I will not, repeat, will not, be strutting around in public in something I wouldn't wear in a non-pregnant state.
3. She should consider refocusing on her career. And stop procreating - there's already plenty of trailers and people to fill them.

I just want to know what, in the name of God, led you to believe that anyone, anywhere, would want to see any more pics of that...thing after "the jump"?!

People, she was always white trash, and she's just following the route that all white trash chicks follow. They might be hot for a few years in their teens and early 20s--then they drive 95 mph into the wall. I really don't think K-Fed had much to do with it, except that he happened to be the first one to knock her up.

The linebacker look, the new trend flying through Hollywood. Janet Jackson is doing it, Ahsanti is doing it, Alisha Keys is doing it, Britney is doing it. It's the backlash to the Nicole Richi, Olsen twins, and Linsay Lohan Holocaust chic.

she had a baby less than 9 months ago! why is everyone dissing her? people who snap back in a month (denise richards, kate hudson, michelle williams) are NOT normal.

Cheeto-loving beached whale! oh man. it hurts.

THAR SHE'S BLOWS!

Now we have proof that Britney isn't pregnant...she's just fat.

Wow, bitch be packin'!

I thought sex was a weight REDUCER!

I like her hat better this time. Somehow the 'Ducks Unlimited' cap suits her.
I can picture her concealed in the bush outside the Park - giving a decent Mallard call, waiting for K-Fed to cruise by in a duck suit. Go for it Brit. It worked for Cheney.

Something is definitely goin' on down there...

She is like pregnant again..... love she is down to her normal weight Duckboy and were is Ducky these days crying in the fetal posisiton in a closet in his bedroom

She really shouldn't be wearing a bikini yet. No one wants to see that. There's nothing wrong with being a little bigger, but we don't wanna see it. I can't believe she's dumb enough to take back her loser husband. She deserves what she gets.

Ok I know you don't personally choose the ads to be placed on your site because if you did this would be the BEST joke if the website's "weight-loss" consisted of walking around gas stations barefoot while munching on Cheetos and slurpin' on Starbuck's Frapps

Ads by Goooooogle Advertise on this site

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Yeah, really. Doesn't she know that when you're recovering from one pregnancy and entering into another that you should look perpetually hot for gossip websites, even if you're not on tour or anything? Geez, where does SHE get off not looking perfect? The utter nerve of her.

looks like madonnas kiss didn't transfer as much "energy" as we thought. too bad.

Someone's got a bun in the oven.

BTW, I've seen plenty of dudes with guts way bigger than Brit's has ever been even at her most pregnant, plus back hair and man boobs, walk around without shirts.
Will someone please tell those guys that we don't want to see it?

Britney emulates her mom, who got into the shape of her life after she had her first baby. So there's still time for a turnabout. If she's preg. with baby #2, she should follow Kev's golf cart around till she can't see her feet.

She needs to take out her belly button jewelry because now that she's either fat or preggers it just looks like she has extra umbilical cord hanging out.

Now I'm no skinny brat, but at least I know to wear clothing that flatters my figure. So from one curvy woman to another, I say this: Britney dear, cover yourself up. You do not have a bikini body anymore.

Momma, make it stop!!!!!

She's not fat but she doesn't need to be wearing that bikini.

did she borrow that suit from mariah carey??? it looks so familar

"she had a baby less than 9 months ago! why is everyone dissing her? people who snap back in a month (denise richards, kate hudson, michelle williams) are NOT normal"

She's had 9 months and a gozillion dollars for personal trainers--she has no excuses. Then again, it is hard to lose the baby fat when your fingers are perpetually stained with cheetos-cheese. I thinks she's pg again.

she had the baby in september....less than 9 months ago!

and your point is......? she's fat and she's rich. so she should not be fat. get over it!

i want to cozy up to britney's shoulders on a cold night. bitch needs to go through doors sideways with those mofos.

If I ever caught myself masturbating to her, before and now, I'd chop off my penis, mail it to China, have my hands burned off with a flamethrower, and I dipped myself in acid, only to be taken out and committed to an insane asylum.

I can smell her from here.

What's the Cheetos thing? How'd that happen?

I almost want Brit to make a comeback just so she can do a video with the Cheeto Cheetah - Maybe a cover of Paula Abdul's "Opposites Attract."

Wow, I don't know if she's pregnant or not, but I never thought I'd see the day where I was thinner than Britney Spears. (I know she's been like that for a while, but I never thought of it that way).


For her sake I hope she's pregnant, because that belly looks nasty.

Clearly she is pregnant, you can tell by that brown horizontal line running down her belly.

forget the bathing suit showing off her which i feel is safe to say pregnant belly...what about those boobs!
quick brit catch them before they hit the floor my God!
it's pretty bad when you need a stylist to put you in the right bathing suit

and ESQ, while i agree w/you and her being pregnant, it took me over 7 months to lose my horizontal line after i had my son and it didn't appear until the 8th month...i would say she's pregnant b/c she is clearly rounded off and firm not saggy

@16: It's called punctuation, bitch. Use some.

Clearly Britney is pregnant again. Is she nuts? Why would she want another child with that loser? We can only hope it's not his !!

Hey Britney.......get the Cheeto dust off your hands and Federslime's dick out of your mouth and hit the treadmill, okay?

Though her career has probably permanently flat-lined by now, Brit desperately needs a stylist just to stop scaring the poor people of Hawaii, the southern half of California, and the city of Malibu specifically.

And the baby! She's probably scaring the baby with some of the rat-ugly outfits she wears ...

Poor Sean Preston--even the nanny dresses better!

:)

Whoa, those mammaries are full! I kinda like her chunky. Chunky girls usually have a nice, fat kooze!

#19: "... Geez, where does SHE get off not looking perfect? The utter nerve of her."

Perfect? We're just striving for Britney to follow society's norms of combing her hair, coloring her roots, wearing hair extensions that actually in some small way SLIGHTLY match the hair color ON THE REST OF HER HEAD, showering daily, and not entering gas station bathrooms shoeless.

Oh, and to put some makeup on and stop scaring people with her belly and braless boobs hanging out all over the place in ugly, ill-fitting, lame outfits in butt-ugly patterns and colors.

She's in show business--how about if she follows the standard of that industry? You know, dressing decently and making an attempt to rise above the crowd...too much to ask? Then she shouldn't be earning the millions her adoring (you've seen DuckBoy, right?) fans paid her.

Why, she's a lumberjack gal!

My god she's a fatty. i'm pregnant, and never once have i thought..."hmmm...i want to be fat." federline must be keeping her fat so she can't leave because no one else wants her now.

Holy pork fuckers, a woman can lose her perfect body after a baby?

(God knows Playboy didn't do a STITCH of Airbrushing on Denise Richards- they are waaaay too honest to do that shit.)


I remember about this time last year when Brit first got preggers and every dude was sportin' wood saying she was gonna be 'such a MILF.'


So.....here's your MILF, boys, cum-n-get 'er!

After all, she now fits the definition of a MILF, I think. She's a mom and if you were drunk, you'd fuck her. (Shit, don't lie...you'd do it cold ass sober too.)

Hope I am not ruining any fantasy anyone may have had.


That is unless your fantasy of a 'MILF' is actually your best friends old ass mom, A.K.A The Crypt Keeper- and then in that case, hopefully your best friend fucks you up for even wanting to screw his mom.


So to all the big swinging dicks who are bitchin' about Ms. thangs big 'ol belly...quit fucking whining! If big guts aren't your thing, then hop on over to the menopause clinic and pick up your bitch .

(* Note to self- kids can distroy your body, but some men will still expect you to work out 6 hours a day to fix it.)


(* Another note to self- fuck them.)

thst coming from the clit commander...

I'm a woman, but I can see how the name would confuse you.


Any Kevin Smith fans out there know it's a joke from one of his movies.


(Sorry to fuck with your head... I shouldn't give the impression I am out there commanding clits all over the world.)


I just liked the name....sorry I couldn't come up with something as snazzy as 'bella1218'

I'll try harder next time.

she reminds me of miss piggy :]

at least unlike natalie portman, britney spears makes me feel a bit better about myself...

29 & 47 - No, a woman loses her "perfect body" after having a baby only when she decides to use *having* the baby as an excuse for not losing the weight. You'll hear, "But I had a baby!" three, four, five, ten years later from those who want to use the excuse.

Meanwhile, other "normal" women - not rich chicks like Britney - but yeah, normal women, who exercised before and during their pregnancy, who were fit in the first place, have no problem losing their baby weight. A lot of these women are pretty much "all baby" during their pregnancy, and they're not all celebs and rich. They just give a d---.

And, your man shouldn't have to expect to you do anything you don't already want for yourself.

Did she eat her baby or something? I don't understand how the whole parenting thing is working out when Britney's always rolling around the beach and K-Fed, well he's just K-Fed. That poor child...

That should be...

And, your man shouldn't have to expect you to do anything you don't already want for yourself.

I had a baby 7 months ago, and I don't recall ever thinking to myself...'"hmmm...I wasnt to be fat."'.
Maybe its just me but the goal is to not want to get fat. We all can only pray you get really fat in the late stages of your pregnancy, cause no matter how hard you try you will put on the weight.
By the way, Clitcommander is a way better name than Bella1218. I really do mean that. I am not being sarcastic.

Sorry type error. "I want to be fat"
Statement corrected.

I think she's awesome for not caring what everyone thinks. She doesn’t even look bad, everyone who calls her a beached whale must have only seen anorexic people with a ton of make up in their faces. Sad.

Looks to me like she's proud of that stomach and showing it off.

Hence: pregnant.

They must have been doinking again within weeks, nae days even, of her popping out SP.

Agreed 21 and 47.

She doesn't even look that fat to me. Although the shorts and bathing suit are fairly ugly.

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

Did Britney eat PAPA HOT NUTS??

OMG Sweelips.....I think maybe you have figured out where PapaHotNuts has disappeared to! Do you think she's got LaydeeBug too?!?

She's not huge(not hot by a long shot though), just shouldn't be wearing that particular outfit/suit. I, to this day, can't fucking understand who lets her out into public in some of the dumb trashy-cheap looking shit she wears constantly. It's like she doesn't even have a brain to process what a reject she usually looks like. I couldn't dress as shitty as her if it was my goal in life. I wish she would fade into the wind never to be HEARD from again. Her dumb music is as shitty as her figure.

#61 That is funny shit! Finally, a post like it should be. Thank you!

#47 - having a baby is no excuse for not looking after yourself. A lot of women think they have to get fat in order to feed the baby. They do not. And hanging on to that extra baggage (the fat, not the baby) for so long after the birth is unecessary. Specially for someone who is so into plastic surgery as Britney (small boobs, huge boobs, medium boobs, bazooca boobs, small boobs, ugly boobs).

But that's not what amuses/amases me at all.
I mean:
http://www.thesuperficial.com/images/2006/01/janet-jackson-fat1.jpg
..so janet is fat. Very fat. But she showers and wears clothes I can look at.

While Britney...
http://www.thesuperficial.com/images/2006/01/britney_spears4.jpg
why Britney?
http://www.thesuperficial.com/images/2006/02/spears-pregnant-again.jpg
Does having a kid make you unaware of saggy breasts? Does it make you ignore the existence of bras?

I think she's pregnant again. With Cowboy Troy's country seed.

I think she's pregnant again. With Cowboy Troy's country seed.

Oops, I did it again.

Britany, if you're going to live off of Mr. Pib and Pringles then you're gonna have to change one thing....it's called a ONE PIECE.

she looks incredibly masculine
and flacid
and too-taned

eeeew.

brtiney is so fake, she was only hot in the begining of her career because of lipo-suction and nose-job

take a look at her sister, that horrible pre-ten nickelodeon star. blargh

She doesn't look that back. Hell, she's pregnant again so maybe she'll just look like that forever.

*bad* oops!

Mooooooo,oink,oink britany ain't pregnant that bitch eats to much. Look at her picture for Mardi Gras that bitch was eating her ass off..

She is such a cow and I wish she'd GO AWAY already. There are way better looking celebs that could be hogging the media.

please, she just had a baby a few months ago...she shouldn't be focussed on taking off the weight. How many of you have ever tried to slim down after a pregnancy? What kind of people propagate this kind of weight loss, it's unhealthy. She might be a white-trashy retard, but there is no need to keep discussing her post-pregnancy weight. A mom of a 6 month old has no reason to get thin quickly again.

#36... um, that brown line is dirt. She's filthy.. i wouldn't let my dog go near that bitch.

"please, she just had a baby a few months ago...she shouldn't be focussed on taking off the weight."

Yes, #74, you are so right. She should be focused on her baby's safety in cars, or on taking care of her child instead of gallavanting on a beach while her deadbeat husband parties with strippers.

If she isn't pregnant, she has nothing better to do than work out. Unless you consider gorging on Cheetos "better."

These comments are funny as heck. Thanks. I believe she has one in the oven again though. She does sport that "pregnant mommy brown line" on her belly.

And to Poster # 61 and 62 - you may be on to something if she isn't pregnant. Or she ate K-Fed so he can't populate any more.

clearly pregnant.

Ugh. I am so tired of the 'she just had a baby' bullshit excuse. I know plenty of women who were back down to their pre-pregnancy weight well within nine months. Its because they aren't fat, lazy bitches that have people doing everything for them. When you actually have to care for your child and yourself and clean your house, do your own shopping, ect. You almost don't need to work off the weight. I'm not saying she should have abs of steel, but goddamn, she shouldn't be a fat lard.

I think she's pregnant again. Its the best way to avoid loing the baby weight. Just pop out abother. You can't possibly eat properly and exercise if you are pregnant again. So how many more will she squeeze out before she has to own up to just being fat and lazy?

It makes no difference if she is pregnant again - she has gotta cover that shit up. Besides, pregnancy is no excuse for obesity or lack of muscle tone. She's morphed into fat white trash.

I'm sorry but if this picture is recent, it just confirms that she's pregnant again. She looks like it. I would guess about 2-3 months.

I always said I'd have nicer abs than Britney Spears one day. And look, I didn't have to do a single crunch.

aiee yi yi!

still, you have to cut her some slack because she's pregnant. I just don't want to see these pictures.

#47 are you a mullet headed dyke? You seem really angry and only flannel wearing lesbians seem to have that much spit and vinegar.

OK if you're fat after giving birth or your tits end up like rocks in the socks...that's why the good lord invented PLASTIC SURGERY. Embrace it.

It's not like we couldn't see this coming. Even a few years ago - you could tell she had to work pretty hard just to maintain her body.

After those pictures, she is all out!!! Who will love her again, after that???

K-Fed has much to answer for. He has taken a confident teeny-bopper superstar and reduced her to a self-doubting mess of a woman.

I feel sorry for Brit, i'm not, nor ever have been a fan but watching this girl self-destruct has been very, very sad.

I hope she gets it together and leaves the asshole, has a new #1 CD and recovers her looks.

# 84- hahahahahaha! Thanks for the laugh.


Mullet head dike! Hehehe...


No, no mullet here. And no, I am not a dyke. As far as flannels...Don't own that shit either.

(Sorry to keep disappointing everyone- fuck!)


I roll with dick and dick only.

And as far as plastic surgery- not only do I embrace it, I fucking hug every aspect of it. I love the shit. My doctor sent me a card for Christmas with a picture of his new Lexus I partially paid for. I wish I was joking.


NOW~ Sing along with me!

By clitcommander in C-minor

(to the tune of "ol McDonald")


"With a nip, nip here and a snip, snip there... Here a nip there a nip everywhere a snip, snip....'ol clitcommander had a boobjob, ei-ei-oooooooooooo!"

I'm new here. I just wanted to say that my son is four months old. I'm *almost* back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I think Brit could've done it by now IF she's not sporting a new baby belly. I'm told I look better than before. So, there, Ms. Britney.

Does this chick have anything that fits?

#84, that's funny.

Clit Commander, you kinda sound crazy.

And New Mama, you go gurl!

Britney is being lazy and dumb and she wil pay for it later. It's like her life is over and she's only 25. Jeez, get a college degree, not more kids!

I miss PAPA HOT MUTS too! (sniff)

NUTS! (nuts!!!)

I hope that's not a pregnant belly, please let it be just fat, cuz the last thing we need is another Federline running loose this world. POPOZAO!!!

Ewwww! That's so not nice

# 91


I sound crazy? Mission accomplished then.

She's a mother, no job, with a kid, and a trashy husband who's just as gross as she is. She's going to be 25. Time for this woman to grow up and find something else to do. Her career in the business is OVER.

I think she looks gorgeous, and if you're confident in yourself, then why would you have to put down others? If she gained another 100 pounds, good for her, if that would make her happy. I hope she never feels bad about showing her body, because she has the same right to do it as anyone else. If you don't like it, then you have some serious issues, because it is much easier just looking the other way than bitching about it.
Go Britney! You look great.

One is not obliged to become a monstrosity to remain anonymous!!!

Come in my sexy shop to have fun and and to become again beautiful like 4 years ago http://boutique.lezlife.com/

Well let me say this..I am not a fan of britteny spears,but a friend of mine sent me this artical and I read it and I couldnt disagree more with any of you. I am so tired of women going "blah blah blah,i lost weight faster then brittney" who cares? good for you! We are not all alike,thats the joy of everyone being different.
I think this is a VERY shallow artical,right along with everyones comments. I mean I guess I just dont understand why everyone is so "star struck"..why does everyone REALLY care if brittney is fat or pregnant or who she is with? Why does everyone care so much if shes lost the weight or if shes gonna be big the rest of her life? You will never meet her or have a chance with her. As I mentioned I am not a fan of her music,and I am not a fan of her period,but I seriously cannot believe the shallowness that comes outta peoples mouths. ALL of US will be fat and unattractive someday. I am sure brittney will get back into shape,if someone wants something bad enough it will happen. I think maybe she just dont care if shes "wank" material or not...I know if I just had a baby and I was married to a man I loved,I wouldnt focus on that. I know that half of the people moaning and groaning about her weight wouldnt waste a sec trying to hit on her if she was right in front of them. GET A LIFE

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