Mar 17 2006Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's wedding

I'm first! Eat it!

Did Brad burn his possessions when he left Jen? Why does he always look like he's dressed to be an extra on 'My So Called Life?' BTW has anyone seen Angelina lately? Man, she's really let herself go. Fatty.

I took Italian in college and I still can't properly pronounce that town name. And now it will haunt me all day. It's a doozy.

Also: they're getting married at George Clooney's house. Psht. Lame.

I was so busy with whole "I'm first thing" that that I forgot my comment. And yes, I fully expect a whole barrage of "1st Retard" and other "1st"-related insults.

Who cares when/if they get married. I'll be interested in a couple of years when they get divorced and start dividing up their troop. And I loved the 2 for 1 orphan comment, good stuff!

These wonderful, kind-hearted people deserve the wedding of their dreams!

Mainly because they've promised to buy a couple of kids off me and I don't want to be stuck with the little bastards now I've paid the import duty from China.

Just for the record: nobody cares that you got the first comment. Sorry to inform that I will not be "sucking" anything of yours.

Why go to Russia to buy more kids? There's got to be some Albanian ones for sale right there in Italy.

Go on and raise yourself a little Muslim terrorist.

Is it just me or has The Superficial lacked in humor as of late? ...sucks.

#6 - You don't need anyone else to help you suck.
P.S. She said eat it not suck it.

Everyone loves first.

I have to hand it to her for having the guts to marry while she's pregnant. Those pictures are with you for the rest of your life.

Of course, when you marry fourteen times during your life, I guess the pictures from just one of those marriages aren't all that important.

#6

She didn't say "suck it", she said "eat it", Mr. Serious Pants.

#5 Great googly moogly!! That was freaking hysterical. Go ahead and pack them up in their boxes. Just make sure you poke some air holes in there.

#9 Damn, you beat me to it. Additionally, I think Brad Pitt bought all of Jared Leto's old clothes off of him since Jared's decided to start dressing like a priest.

When will the adoption agencies finally get their act together and start putting foreign babies in the celebrity "schwag bags?" Isn't that quicker?

And if you don't want one because you're so busy, you can just jame that little critter into the Jolie-Pitts mail slot or into any old post office box to ship them home. I mean, c'mon people!

#13, I hear they're in next year's Oscar bags. You win.

And I think Brad and Angie are sweet. Go them. I'll be marrying George there NEXT weekend. Kthnx.

So will they use "Fraud" on the annulment papers or will they stay married long enough to be old fashioned and get an actual divorce?

Make fun of Brad and Belly but leave the kids out of it. It's like making fun of your aunt with one eye. It's not funny and it's not nice.

Damn, the fucking post office lost my invitation to the wedding. Now what will I do with this gravy boat?????

#16

You're not the boss of us! Pfffttttt :p
Besides, it IS funny.

george clooney said a few months back that him and brad had this conversation about how funny it would be if they made the press spend all this money to go to his house in italy for a fake wedding. although really at this point, im so sick of brad and angelina they could have all the fake weddings/real weddings they want (because really they have to stay in the public eye somehow right?), adopt 10 more kids from each continent and mess them up as much as they have the other ones, and i could care lesssss

Is she going to carry that kid down the aisle with her? I don't think she's put him down once in the past three years...

Will they hurry up and get divorced (I mean married) already so we can all go back to our lives? Geesh.

hopefully it can only turn into one of those tragic stories where they finally get hitched, go flying off into the sunset for their honeymoon in their private jet (without the kids), he's flying it although he doesn't have much experience & then... wait for it... total JFK Jr. & Carolyn. But how ironic would it be that those kids that were most likely orphans before would become orphans again, except this time they have so much fucking money they can do whatever they want & don't have to worry about getting yelled at by their parents.

whew. good times.

(but I hope it happens after she gives birth so their seed will live on forever & ever taunting the shit out of Aniston)

#22, do I hear CBS at your door in talks of buying your reality show?

#13, you are priceless! I snorted my diet coke w/lime out thru my nose! and now I have to reimburse my boss for a new laptop...

Its about time.

# 22

You are TWisted,, Whoa

These two hoseheads are the dullest celebrities on earth. Can we please move on? Bring on the tits and ass!

28th!! Yeah, baby 28th...suck it!

I just think it may be true this time, At least I hope so, I love the Pitt-Jolies, but I am really over this are they getting married this weekend drama. Just do half of America will be happy, the other half will be yawning,,

# 27 for them to be dull, that sure are getting a helluva lot of play/coverage/magizine time/ air time/ internet time. etc,,,etc,, etc.. I would hate to see what would happpen if they where, ""exciting""

that's the thing #30.
The fact that Jolie and Pitt walk through an airport.. that gets plastered all over the tablods.

It is rather dull.
They're not really DOING anything.
They're simple "sighted" at a starbucks together and people are stick freaking the hell out about it.

I'm waiting for creepy Jolie to re-emerge.
Or another daddy-daughter dispute to come up.

... still* not stick..

ohhhhh me.

#22 - The plane would crash INTO Aniston. The three of them would perish in a love-triangle for the ages.

#22
#33

Maybe it would happen in THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE (oooooh spooky) and everyone will say how eerily foreshadowed it was in the whiny ass interview Jennifer gave shortly before the INCIDENT...............................

#28, LOL Funniest shit on earth!!! I'm still laughing.

#20..Sooo not true..I was starting to wonder if he could even walk until the new one came along..now he's always dragging behind them..poor maddox..replaced..and she's not even as cute..

#28...lmao...people like you are the reason I come here...

#31: I can't wait for the daddy-daughter dispute "The Truth Behind the Creepies" to finally come out... we all know that man touched her in places daddies only touch mommies and that is why she has had so many fucked up relationships with men & her brother.

Of course this will only come out after their plane crashes into the Bermuda Triangle (thanks mamacita)and Jolie leaves it in her will that Jennifer Aniston is left the copy of Jolie's diary, thoroughly explaining everything.

Christ I need to lay off the pipe & the sauce.

a little off subject here, but:

george clooney is supposed to be the leader of the new "rat pack".
with geo and brad so close, and brad adopting the kids does that make him the new (wait for it...)
GODFATHER??
(i'm so sorry, that was really funny in my head)

#38- I laughed so hard I snorted! Picturing Jen reading the diary and looking for a razor to slit her own throat.

Is there not a limit to how many children you can adopt? In a year's time at least? I read Angelina was looking to adopt twins before she pops the "real" one out??? For the love of God. And Brad now looks like a haggard shell of his former self, lugging the little trophy orphans around, wishing he could wake up from the nightmare.

I really don't care how many children you adopt or how much good will you pretend to spread...she is still the publicity whore who wore her husband's blood in a vile around her neck, sucked face with her brother, had "Billy Bod" tattooed on her arm, and got pregnant by the married man whom she was fucking. In Angelina's defense...at least you won't ever read "Pregnant Angelina steps on hypodermic needle while walking barefoot into 7Eleven."

Uh...typo...Billy Bob not 'Bod' duh!

If Billy Idol and Ryan Seacrest had a kid - wouldn't it look a lot like Brad Pitt looks in that picture?

is that a sign - Brad's hair is back to blonde? not that jet black "I'm with Angelina" fake color?

#36...she's not, you're right...she's not as cute as maddox...altho let's face it, how cute is a 4 year old with a mohawk? we're talking pretty low on the cute-o-meter here. is she going to let brad pitt's baby grow a rat tail? oh no, wait, that'll be britney's kid...two years old with a 6" rat tail down his back. how trashy-80s-throw-back can you get??? of course, in this instance we're talking about a woman who used to wear a vial of blood around her neck. i hear Queen Elizabeth does that too...

how long do you guys give this marriage? a year? how long was she married to that billy bob guy?

"Immediately following the wedding, the couple is expected to travel to Russia, where orphans are on sale 2 for 1 this weekend only".

GOOD STUFF! I laughed so hard at this post.

#44- Hilarious. Sean P. will have a world-record-breaking rat tail.

i heard there really is a diary and it confesses that angelina is really a fem-bot who hypnotized brad with her jumblies.

I was entertained until I got to the part 'orphans are on sale 2 for 1'. Brad and Angelina are fair game but please leave the children out of it? Orphan jokes aren't funny.

"the couple is expected to travel to Russia, where orphans are on sale 2 for 1 this weekend only. "

LOL

----

god i hate that Brad Pitt...freakin prick.

am i the only one who believes Angelina Jolie'sonyl marrying him because she's preggers with him? i bet if it wasnt for that she wouldve dumped that puppet.

I'm honestly surprised anyone cares about these two anymore to be honest.

My only interest in the pairing was caused by the denials that anything was going on between them. Well, when you're walking around pregnant, and still with the guy in tow, you can pretty much assume he's the daddy. Did anyone notice how news of them tapered off after the pregnancy confirmation? Now it's just one more thing to get their names in the news. They're together - do we really give a fuck if they're getting married at this point?

no, it doesn't really matter anymore that they get married. AJ is already setting herself up to be broken up with anyway, since she's so afraid their marriage won't last.

but her plan is probably more like, have Brad's baby, & then tell the kids all to say bye-bye to Brad. (& maybe she'll break the news to him that the kid's not really his anyway, but she had to use him b/c she's pregnant.)

#46 too funny, and a mullet cut to go with that tail

Jen will get the last laugh on this one.

Just wait and see.

And by the way.....Brad is SO pussy-whipped!

Angelina will break Brad's heart.

She'll take the kids and go back with her former lesbian lover, Jenny Shimizu.

I thought this was an untrue rumor about them marrying at George Clooney's villa. This is so last year!

Jen is probably eating her fingernails for sustenance at this point...certainly looks like it...

so, they are going to get married at George Clooney 's crib ? that should be interesting : Brad marries Angelina, but spends the wedding night with George ...

Adopting children makes you a better person. The kids are lucky to escape the horrible situations they are in.

After Angelina squirts out her womb booger, into Brad's waiting baseball mitt [all sterilized and what not], she'll be taken to the recovery room where she'll sign papers to adopt another 42 orphans from various horrendous countries in Africa and a couple from India.

Then she'll be dubbed the new Mia Farrow, as she and Brad will likely never marry. In about 12 years time Brad will have taken an unholy interest in one of the older adoptees, female, and lo and behold, they'll come out as "in love", and icky photos of the adoptee girl will be discovered by Angie, touching off a huge custody and Social Services battle, much to the delight of tabloids and The Superficial. Brad and his new "love interest" will then secretly wed, reemerging as a settled couple on the Upper East Side.

Meantime, Jen Aniston will have married some nobody banker from Long Island and had a passle o'younguns, who all look like J.Crew models. She'll be smuggly snickering to herself in subsequent interviews, barely able to contain her glee.

Man, I love bitter divorces and love triangles!!! I love the smell of bile in the morning!

the mayor is a woman.

I love what Michael Douglas has to say about Brad's little jaunt with AJ.

""I don't know about Brad Pitt, leaving that beautiful wife to go hold orphans for Angelina," Douglas says. "I mean, how long is that going to last?""
http://et.tv.yahoo.com/celebrities/14165/

"Go on and raise yourself a little Muslim terrorist." - #7

You're disgusting.

Making fun of Muslims is fine by me. So is making fun of Scientologisticals, Xtians, Buddahists and whatever else is out there including but not limited to the Haley-Bopp Comet Riders. They're all fucking fantatical lunatics, believing in a Big Sky Pixie who goes by various confusing names, some of which involve pronunciations with pops and whistles. Like a dolphin.

If we can call them bible thumpers, then we can call them camel jockeys. Fair is fair afterall.

There's a big difference between calling someone a camel jockey and calling them a terrorist.

#20 - So true and so FUNNY!

I guess when you are a spoiled adopted rich kid you don't have to learn to walk. If they keep carrying them around it might actually limit the number of children they can adopt. Hahahaha

I'm sure it will be a quiet and tasteful ceremony, with orphans of various Third World catastrophes in attendance as human accessories while Himbo anxiously prepares to make an honest woman out of Angelina -- once, that is, she finally waddles her naked swollen belly, specially tatooed for the occasion, down the aisle. Ah yes, another state wedding.

I could image what jen and vince baby will look like she'll have the baby covered up with a white blanet all the time..

Are you retarded #5? She did not let herself go, SHE IS PREGNANT!!! DUH!! Maybe all the women here who have been pregnant should give you a FATTY lip!!!

I hope she does break the dumb idiot's heart! What goes around comes around...

#5 my apologies!! My comment is meant for #2!!!

By the way, I love The Superficial. Some of us have a great sense of humor & truly are funny!

Luv ya guys

#70

Um, yeah, #2 was being sarcastic.

Well Woo,Hoo to #2 for his sarcasim!! Thank you very much mamacita for that useful peace of information! ANYWAY, moving on to the real line of conversation here! Ewwww to Angelina. She looks horrible. She looks even skinnier now than before getting pregnant. Great role model for all the starving kids of the world!

#69 I hope she rips his heart out!!!

#72

"Thank you very much mamacita for that useful peace of information!"

Hey, you used the wrong 'peace'. For that sentence, what you're looking for is 'piece'. www.dictionary.com Try it.