Feb 1 2006Natalie Portman is tiny

Thank you. I thought I was the only one who thought she looked like an eight year old boy. I do think however, that she has outdone herself this time with the Frodo mates with Mr. Bean haircut. I thought she was taller. This makes her look even more hobbitish...and that coat...again with Mr. Bean..there seems to be a pattern here, it must be genetic. Does anyone remember Emo Phillips? (if you had forgotten, I apologize)The picture made me think of him also and one of Joe Pesci's toupee's.

I'm a big guy. If I tried to have sex with that girl her pelvis would explode. Not that it's a bad thing, but then I'd get Hayden Christensen's pubic lice. That would be a bad thing.

I think we can deduce that because she and Jude Law had several scenes together in "Closer" --- and he didn't tower over her the way Clive Owen did --- that Jude Law is very shrimpy.

I have never seen Vern Troyer look sexier. I could never imagine a scenario in which I would hump Vern Troyer, but you can throw that idealogy right out the window. He looks yummy.

Nonsense. Natalie Portman, the Natalie Portman that has a feminine hairstyle, is quite lovely. I would agree that she looks boyish with that mop, but in the general sense, you're all on drugs.

As a corollary, when did being short suddenly become mutually exclusive in its relation to hotness? I mean, I'm not against a long cool woman in a black dress or anything, but my personal definition of hotness has no penalty for being short.

I think she shaved her head for a movie.
She should have stopped with The Professional.

I always wonder what is going on in the Superficial newsroom...I think they should have a "meet the editors" feature.

I wonder if it's like The Simpsons or SNL where one editor is the most brilliant...don't get me wrong , the site is always funny, but some days...wow. The last three posts have been great...the Miller/Lord Vader post in particular. The same editor must have written this classic (warning: you are about to read the all time most awesome Superficial post)...

If I had to choose between slamming my penis into Kristen Dunst or slamming my penis in a car door, I would at least request that car be American. Then maybe my penis could get buried in a national cemetery. And soldiers would hand me a folded flag while I cried at its funeral. I would miss my penis, we’ve had a lot of good times together, but I would respect its sacrifice. It would be the Pat Tillman of penis. I like to think it would never take the cowards way out and go east-west in that pale brittle troll, even for a minute. And I’m pretty sure I’d rather get a hand job from those hooded things in Lord of the Rings than that nicotine stained talon she’s got.

Tinkerbell really does exist.

Natalie - put your hands up and step away from the Flowbee.

Her 'do IS ick, but with a cute haircut, I think she's a pretty little thing. Not "hot" maybe, but certainly not a boy.

I'm with ElFurbe(5). Isn't "small" more feminine than being 6' tall? I'm 5'9, and I always thought it was more attractive and feminine to be "dainty."

When the women start being the same size as the men, you know you're in Easten Europe. And Hollywood, my friend, is NOT in Eastern Europe.

Posted by ElFurbe-
"my personal definition of hotness has no penalty for being short."

On behalf of short women I thank you.
And agree, Portman has always been pretty. I think men are getting so used to women wearing a pound of make-up they cant recognize one without it anymore.

Natalie Portman was born on 06/09/1981, in Jerusalem, Israel. She is 5' 4" tall and weighs 110 lbs.

5'4"?? ok, that makes the others in the pic giants...or wearing really high heels...

She is so tiny. And, she does look like a little boy. Poor thing.

i went to college with her. she's not so noticeably tiny in person, although she is kinda a bitch.

Size doesn't matter, she's beautiful!

http://www.celebheights.com/s/Natalie-Portman-416.html

OMG Yoda has been unmasked!

Hey! I am 4'10" and have been told many times

"short girls do it better"

Go Shorty!

"Natalie Portman was born on 06/09/1981, in Jerusalem, Israel."

Aha, that explains the tininess. You can take them out of the shtetl, but you can't take the shtetl out of them.

The average height of the Jewish guys I work with is actually about 5' 4", so I guess they see her as a kind of Chosen Gabrielle Reece.

By the way, as to her hotness, Natalie Portman looks like a Pez dispenser with an attractive lid. Some guys just like a pretty face, other guys like a curvy body as well. Yet others like long legs, a large round ass, a small round ass, and so on and so forth ad nauseum. In the end, it's all a matter of taste.

That said, Natalie Portman looks like a Pez dispenser with an attractive lid.

Too tall, too short, too fat, too thin. Make up your minds and stick with something so us women can know if we're good enough or not!

Anyhoo, of course she has a bad "haircut", it's called "growing".

Keebler elf! That is what she reminds me of.

"Make up your minds and stick with something so us women can know if we're good enough or not!"

Go ahead and just assume you're not.

I prefer 'petite' chicks to women who look like Xena: Princess Warrior. That's right, prefer feminine women to women who look like they've been pumped full of testosterone.

But I guess if The Superficial has nothing to complain about, they go after a persons height. Then if Natalie got leg extensions or some other novel plastic surgery to fix that "flaw", you'd rag on her for getting plastic surgery.

I don't mean to be picky or anything, but you guys accidentally put an old picture of Justin Timberlake above the Natalie Portman is Tiny heading. Could you please fix it, cause I'm always delighted to see pics of Natalie.

Three things:

1.) Yes, it is hotter to be short if you're a girl. (Sarah Michelle Gellar, Lyndsay Lohan, Jennifer Love Hewiit, Hillary Duff...the list goes on)

2.) Yes, tall women are for the most part manly looking and ugly. Even supermodels, up close, are not that hot. I saw Tyra Banks in real life and I still have nightmares about it.

3.) Finally: Natalie Portman WAS so hot. And now she looks weird. And boy-ish. Then I watch Closer and I realize how hot she CAN be and she is forgiven.

Thanks for listening. Good night.

I think Natalie Portman, like a lot of younger actresses was somebody that you assumed WOULD grow up to be hot. A good theory, but for every cute kid actor who grows up hot like Alica Milano, there are others that dissappoint...

Yeah, I mean eew!

http://www.bitetv.ca/blog/archives/Natalie%20Portman.jpg

Oh, wait, she's hot.

http://imdb.com/name/nm0000204/photogallery

And yet she's taller than me (I'm 5'2").
I thihnk she's pretty, but being a little boy look-a-like in my own right (or at least permanently a pre-teen..seriously..I'm always carded..) I'm slightly biased.

When will someone tell her and others of the same/shorter height to not wear long/too long coats?? Why don't you just get a sandwich board that says, "Mayor of Munchkinland"?

In case anyone DIDN'T know, tall is sexy. Randy Newman said it best when he stated short people have no mreason to live. LOL

ElFurbe, stumpy people do not and have not equated hotness. That';s why in Hollywood when an actor or actress was short the studios (they even do that shit today) made sure they used camera angles, boxes and stuff to make them look taller. Gillian Anderson stood on boxes for years next to Duchovny.

Case in point, everyone knows Angelina Jolie is hot. But in person, I saw her at a restaurant in Malibu and she was in a dress with what had to be at least three inch heels. She is 5'9" without heels but with the heels, she was a little closer to six feet. Her beauty was just magnified even more for me. I'm telling you now, if Angelina was shorter than that, she wouldn't be all that much to write home about I PROMISE.

And to the guys who think she is hot in this picture, please stay away from playgrounds and altar boys.

I suppose if she dressed like and used as much makeup as Paris Hilton the men would be all over her.
I appreciate her as a female that doesnt feel she needs to look like shiny plastic in a business where all they sell is shiny plastic.
She isnt selling herself,(with pornstar makeup and T&A clothing)so she looks like a boy, but as soon as she does she is considered a whore.

She may be a shity actress but atleast she isnt a sell out like the rest of them.

Im surprised no one has made a comment about her being a lesbian. Because, we all know, women that dont wear makeup and sport baggy clothing are always! lesbians.

Hey spamnews, your link shows Darth Vader with his shirt off. That's like, false advertising or something.

Nerdy Girls > Slutty Girls.

I am short like Natalie.
I think she is pretty.

So, I actually have home video of Miss Natalie Portman during a show we were in together when she was 10... Yeah, even at 10 she looked 6. She is pretty tiny. Thanks for letting me share this useless info.

Portman owns.

Period.

She's a good actress and a good person. Back off of her. Go pick on Mischa Barton's bony ass some more.

Kmac. Sorry about that. I was enjoying something else while pleasuring myself and I guess the URLs got mixed up or something.

When she was on all the best dressed lists at this years globes-I was like WTF? She looks like a kid whose way to skinny, and that hairdo is terrible. When are these girls going to stop looking like waifs and anorexics?

Uhhhh, she's really not that short. She's in flat shoes, standing in between a MAN, and another female who appears to be wearing high heels. She's also wearing a jacket that's a bit too large for her, making her appear more dwarfy.
5'4" is pretty average for a woman.
In fact, according to The Internet, 5'4" is the average female height in north america.
Oh and she shaved her head for a movie, it's growing back now - hence the short hairdo.

To Comment #29. Before your comment 28 people had posted and nobody had insinuated that Natalie Portman was a lesbian or made a big deal that she wasn't wearing make-up. Just becuase you have issues doesn't mean everybody on here does Ms. Defensive. (And Ms. doesn't inply that you are a lesbian, merely that I don't know whether you are married or not, OOOPS! I took another issue away from you!)

man shes still pretty. just throw a wig on her. id knock it down

I just found out that she is my age, has my height and my weight.

Plus my hair is short too.
And i'm not boyish in any way.

This post is kind of ridiculous, she is a beautiful girl and a great actress.

People tend to judge a woman by numbers she can offer. Specially numbers she cannot control, like her height or the size of her boobs.

Comon people, what she did wrong?

i saw her in august with clean-shaven head. i rubbed it with my elbow and have since enjoyed great luck and prosperity.

Natalie is cute as all hell.. All you fat posers would do anything to just have a chance with her. Get real, she's pretty....end of story.

Makes no difference to me. I've always been attracted to short women. I'm 6'3 and my gf is 5'2 and we still manage to line up our genitals.

...She looks like an elf. Seriously, she is a really pretty actress, I think the hair does come from some movie role she shaved for. My Natalie soft spot comes from The Professional--that movie kicked ass!!!

I used to think she looked really hot but lookin at that pic she looks like a 12yr old playing dressup. Looks like Dakota's got competition now.

"Portman owns."

Only to people who use the word "own" to indicate approval ...

... in other words, 12-year-old boys who play Games Workshop games instead of being sexually promiscuous.

#13 thesebeans

Do you have a funny stories about her from college?

what a lesbian.

who cares how tall she is? look at that dykey get up!

les.

bi.

an.

also, she cut her hair off in June, shouldn't it have grown back by now? you know what that means?

lesbian.

My boyfriend met her about a year ago. She really is that tiny. He thought he was going to break her.

He's a good actress, never found him sexy. I guess because i dont like boys.

When he was that stripper in that one film, thats the closest i've seen him to looking like a woman.

I definitely wouldn't call her short; that's just stupid. The average american woman is 5'4", and Natalie Portman is 5'3". So calling her short is the equivalent of calling a woman who's 5'5" tall, and that's absurd.

K first of all you guys have to watch closer then tell me shes not hot. All actors are short, and so what if she shaved her head for a role, she's brilliant(degree in phycology from Harvord), beautiful, and is one of the few celebs I respect. In this world filled with so many f-heads.

"Even supermodels, up close, are not that hot."

Classic. Superficial never fails to crack me up.

Portman is the ultra spinner

She may be tiny but she is bloody cute! And tiny girls are great to be with. I bet she's a lot more then her size in the sack!

She looks so tiny in that picture. She looks like she is about to be awarded a gymnastics medal or something.

"Only to people who use the word "own" to indicate approval ...

... in other words, 12-year-old boys who play Games Workshop games instead of being sexually promiscuous."

Oh gee, I should go get crabs, just like you, huh?

Shut up, grammar nazi.

Portman is great. That's all that matters.

She's 5'4 and 110b? Wow, she must be my body twin or something.

Way to REPRESENT, Natalie! (the Lollipop Guild, that is.)

Well 5'4" isn't short but give me the girl next to her any day.
Sorry this little thing is not 110. She's more like 98 pounds with her hair wet.

And in that movie Garden State, you could actually see what a muppet she is and hell I'd run out of the room like those dudes did to get to the really hot chick in the bikini.

As I recall, it was the nerdy weird dude who gets with muppet Natalie.

The Professional was great but you can't expect much post puberty for some. Let me know when Nat gets through puberty. It might get interesting.

"she's brilliant (degree in phycology from Harvord)"

does anyone else see the irony in this statement?

NatPo (as she's been dubbed by my best friend) may be brilliant, but you are sir, are clearly not. or at least not a native english speaker, or not very good at proofreading... pick one.

"but you ARE sir, ARE clearly not or at least not a native english speaker, OR NOT VERY GOOD AT PROOFREADING"

does anyone else see the irony in that statement?

I saw Natalie Portman on Letterman once, and she was so dull that I couldn't watch anymore. She was going on and on about the problems she had with her printer, trying to print an essay.

'It was crazy,' she said.

I'd rather listen to Whitney Houston scream 'I don't do crack! I just smoke these white magic beans...'

what are you people nuts? Did ANYBODY see "Closer" I understand that it was a crappy P.O.S. movie, but Natalie played a stripper and damn!!!! Girl is hot!

I'm 5'10", and 135 lbs so I'm feeling really bad about myself now. I'll never be a spinner.

Crap.

she's utterly adorable

Nothing wrong with small...Shania Twain is small and gorgeous. Natalie however is small and ever so plain.

go spinner !!!!!

I agree, she's adorable. and I loved her in "Lord of the Rings."

killya: "Nothing wrong with small...Shania Twain is small and gorgeous. Natalie however is small and ever so plain."

Well, no, Shania Twain is not small, seeing as how she's of average height for an american woman. Good try, though!

Aftering seeing the clips from her in Closer and the paparazzi shots of her topless on St. Bart's, I don't feel like a gay pedophile at all when I subconciously begin masturbating while looking at her. I'm 6'3" 250#, and I can attest to the fact spinners are _much_ more fun.

touche sir... i guess i should proofread my own insults before i accuse someone else of them...

She's cute. And the picture is taken from above...

I saw Closer. She's a lot cuter than Clive Owen.
I was glad to see her in this new version of the Christmas Carol as well. Her 'Tiny Tim' was the best since 'Tip-Toe' and Miss Vikki.

wow. a lot of natalie lovers and haters alike. a lot of posts in a short amount of time.

i personally like natalie as an actor, in terms of the projects she chooses. she's the female version of johnny depp, IMHO.

however, in this picture, it's just all wrong. maybe it's her coat or her hairdo, not so sure... i mean, i know she's 5'4" or so, but she just looks like a dwarf in this picture. also in that picture her head looks too big for her body. she looks like she's being escorted by her mum and dad.

i also kind of have a feeling that she's a lesbian. or at least bi.

"but you ARE sir, ARE clearly not or at least not a native english speaker, OR NOT VERY GOOD AT PROOFREADING"

"does anyone else see the irony in that statement?"

It's stuff like this that the internet was made for. That and talking about moderately attractive actresses with the bodies of 11 yr olds.

(Any gal who has to hang with those Star Wars weirdos is bound to go a bit 'queer')
Not that there's...etc

Yes the irony on this site is delicious.

Kinda like salt and vinegar chips and chocolate ice cream after a big fat blunt.

mmmmm

>>Grammar nazi<< hahahaha that's funny

She's mysterious, and apparently very intelligent, and well-educated.

That picture though ... it concerns me ... greatly. Something's just not quite right.

I recognize that actress she is with - sort of. One of those filler-type actresses you see again and again in small roles.

Her education is way impressive. And an academy nominee to boot. Not too shabby.

"Well, no, Shania Twain is not small, seeing as how she's of average height for an american woman. Good try, though!"

The average American woman is also fat, but I guess they're not fat, just average.

The problem with Natalie Portman is that she highly overestimates her beauty. She thinks she can simply wake up, take a shower, put on some jeans and t-shirt, and go out looking stunning. Even with a bald head and a boys 'do. Unfortunately, (for her) this is not the case. Natalie is pretty, but she's not THAT pretty. Or THAT femenine, to be able to skip makeup, hair and a girls outfit and still look like a woman, let alone a pretty one.
Sorry Natalie, but for that kind of hairstyle, only Winona Ryder and Halle Berry can really pull it off.
Wake up ! You need some makeup and real girls hair to look like a girl. Otherwise, you're just a boy. And not even that cute of a boy.

Wow. What is this? Bash on tall people day? "Yes, tall women are for the most part manly looking and ugly. Even supermodels, up close, are not that hot." (Drowningfool)...hmm. Maybe if you're talking about nasty, anorexic runway models but I know plenty of beautiful tall women. I'm 5'10" and I'm not gonna say I'm gorgeous or anything but I don't think I look like I fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down...geez.

I'm only 5'0". Does that mean I should runaway and join the circus cuz, according to some of these posts, I'm a freak of nature?

Id still bang her, yumyum, ohh that white suit in Star Wars 2

Damn !! pedophile! I guess that's why I keep watching re-runs of "Peanuts" or "Different strokes" and keep checking every day the countdown for Harry Potter's Emma Watson to be of legal age.
Well at least Nathalie is (legal),but I'll just pretend that she's not.

Well thank the Lord, somewhere on today's site there were a few funny comments. I was beginning to despair, but there (between the yappity yappity "she's lovely", "no she's not", "yes she is") were a few gems:

GothamGuy (#7) - LMAO
Larry - Pez: niiiiiiiiiiiice, oh I like it. Have you seen her 'sister' Keira Knightley? New Improved Pez, now with bigger head!

Natalie Portman's pretty enough, but she's not sexy at all. Just comes off as a very cold fish.

WTF are you smokin? I'll rape, kill and plunder to be Natalie's underwear...she's so totally freakin hot!

8yo boy? Gosh you're on dope i swear...

"Shut up, grammar nazi."

Oooh, check out the big balls on miniature boy.

So when you forget to breathe (which I am sure you often do), and someone comes over and reminds you that you need to do that on a regular basis, you cry "shut up, respiration nazi."

Yes, by all means do go out and get crabs. Give the HeroClix, the leet, and your palm, a little break. And stop lusting after "women" who look like little boys.

Four out of five respondants in a recent poll said that people who use the word "owns" to indicate approval should be held down and have a railroad spike slowly driven through their skulls.

She was pretty hot in Lord of the G-Strings.

he he

The chick next to her looks a lot cuter.

I'm sorry, Larry....I like classy and well-educated women. So, you can go back to fawning over Paris and Britney. Natalie looks fine just the way she is.

It's just a haircut. And it's just a word. And you're taking it way too far, like, to a scary place. And "Oooooh! Lordy, lordy Massah Larry, I'z nevah doubt you again! Teh Internets Is Serious Business! Massah Larry done floggeded me real good over Teh Internets! I'z be a good Toby now!"

That's all I have to say on the matter.

Next comment, please.

She's only one blow-up away from being an angry Jewish lesbian. ONE.

How could you turn down a girl who's cunt tastes like heaven?

OH yeah dakota. Nat has nothing on her.
Only a few more years left http://www.dakotacountdown.com/index.php/home/

SHE'S the normal one next to an enormous beastly ogre! big girls look manly! she is feminine

Ugly, ugly child, that boy's parents are cruel to dress him as a middle aged, Bingo mad woman.

"I've never understood why so many people find Natalie Portman so attractive. She looks like an eight-year-old boy, which means these people are pedophiles."

Yeah, ok. But, the "supermodels" you ogle don't resemble 8-yr. old boys, with their 0% body fat, no boobs and stick figures, do they? Check yourself...

She's a little Jewish sweetheart,i love her and the haters are retinally challenged!!

i wish i had one...i'd keep her in my pocket and pull her out at parties...like 'hey everybody...N-PORT in the HIZZZOUSE'

HollyJ, you're only fifteen million brain cells from being an intelligent, productive member of socety. I've never heard the expression, "Angry Jewish lesbian" before. How would that differentiate her from an angry Christian lesbian? Does she throw bagels when people call her a dyke? HollyJ, to quote Will Ferrell in Anchorman..."If you were a man, I'd punch you. I'd punch your right in the mouth!"

I don't care about her looks. My question is, why is she shuffeling about in a housecoat?

(50)Wordhole - I know you're completely obsessed with me, but as I told you in the OTHER commentary where you were stalking me, I'm happily married...to a JEW. Freak. Methinks someone should up their meds...

MortyFishbein -

Your ravings about tall vs. short, and everyone else debating this "issue," are stupid. You are either hot or you're not. Short or tall - doesn't matter.

You quote someone who said: "stumpy people do not and have not equated hotness."

...Okay, tell that to Eva Longoria, Jessica Simpson, Drew Barrymore, Selma Blair, Shakira...)

Fact is - you're either hot or your not. I'm assuming you are very tall and unattractive to have written that.

I like Natalie. I hate Jessica Simpson. I used to like Drew Barrymore. I like Keira Knightley. I'm starting to like Scarlet Johanson. (ScarJo)

Still, I like Natalie. Maybe not a lot of the movies she's in, but I like her.

I thought she was so hot in "The Professional". Ok Ok, I know I'm sick in the head for saying it..

Hellow? Queen Padmé Naberrie Amidala? Are you still here?

Natalie is hot. But not when she looks like a boy. Let's wait until her hair grows back. In the meantime, I suggest that you check out her Zimbabwean doppelganger, Mercedes Baxter, from synthpop group Ramsey-Baxter. She's very cute!

She's loovely! Totally the kind of girl you'd fall for...but I guess you can't expect someone who writes for a site called 'thesuperficial.com' to understand this concept! Poor bitter, superficial screwballs!

Why the heck are sooo many people obsessed with Natalie Portman??! I don't understand. She's a girl, she's just a human. People worship her. Nobody knows much about her at all. She's an actress, she's works at playing *roles*. So, people interview her, big deal. Almost ANY ordinary person can be made to look that glamorous when you professionally make up their body, clothes, lighting, etc. And anyone can be alluring when all you know about them are alluring things and interesting quotes.

And if you don't think she wears a pound of make-up... You can just go on thinking EVERYthing in movies/premieres/shows/etc. is realistic, and see how far that gets you.

natalie portman isn't tiny, she's 5"3. tiny is 5"0 and under. but i assume some people prefer giants. and yeah, she kinda had to shave her head for a movie called "v for vendetta", that should explain why she, "looks" like an 8 year old boy. she graduated from harvard university with honours with a degree in psychology, can speak 5 languages, has actively participated in worthy causes, is a research assistant, is a well sought-after actress and some of you have pathetically resorted to criticizing her on her shaven head! have u guys nothing better to do? why don't u go reevaluate your own stupid lives! as if you are better than she is.

She shaved her head for "V For Vendetta", and it takes quite a while for hair to grow out HEALTHY, and by the way hers is looking, that is probably what she's trying for...probably gets a trim every 4 weeks to minimize split ends, and she doesn't seem like the type who'd go for really dramatic extensions. So, in reply to the "she's bi, gay, or lesbian" comments, I'd say she just has a really knowledgable hairdresser, is naturally thin, and doesn't like the current fashion trends (I don't either, and I am happily married to a very masculine man). The girl next to her looks about 5'6" and is wearing heels. You also have to account for the angle of the camera and the lighting in the photo. The shadows, angle, and people next to her make her appear even more petite than she naturally is. I agree that she could be wearing a little feminine makeup, maybe some red lipstick, longer eyelashes, and a brow reshaping,along with a much heavier concealer, but she may just be giving her skin a break. All the constant plucking, dying, injecting, and caking on of makeup must get pretty tiring for celebs, she probably just needed a day off. I agree with Atamze, people can't look perfect ALL of the time. And about the height-I am 5'0" and have ALWAYS been told that short girls are extremely hot...not to mention I once dated a 6'4" guy and could give him blowjobs with both of us standing up. Needless to say, us short chicks are the ones without ugly rugburns on our knees!

shes naturally bright nd naturally beautiful. she has perfect facial proportions like Keira Knightly. so wot if shes short Kylie's shorter nd every1s obsessed wit her bod. this is a bad picture of her, kinda like she wnt out of her way 2 wrk the hobo boy look but she stll lks pretty. her face is way betta thn Scarlett j's (jade goody lookalike) and Jennifer L H the horse

i love Natalie!
She is NOT like every american "hot" girl.
that's why she sooooooo good looking.