Feb 17 2006Michael Jackson paid ex-wife to shut up

That's how much kids are going for on the market right now? Wow. I may just have to start marketing out MY womb now. Eff Ebay!

Whacko couldn't afford to PAY the ninja.

He'd have to find some cheap-ass ninja who agreed to be paid in memorabilia gold discs he could use as frisbee-sized throwing stars. And even then Debbie Rowe would frighten him off by staring hard at him.

She should have stayed married to him. Then she could have had him certified insane before he spent all the money his petting zoo.

***HALF PRICE SALE***
For a limited time you can have 2 kids for the price of 1!

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I don't see what the big deal is- they're not even his kids! Has anyone noticed that the kids are completely white?!!

Ok, children, some of you may be too young to know this, but once upon a time- Michael Jackson was black! He was black, had a nose, and maintained an innappropriate relationship with a chimp named Bubbles.

Do you think Michael would inappropriately touch the ninja too?

The only people I feel sorry for in all this are the kids. When daddy's a perverted freak and mommy can be so easily bought off, who's looking out for their best interests? It's sad.

What about the children? (tear)

I have the plan that rocks the most. Those kids should be taken under cover of darkness to an undisclosed military location wherein they will undergo the proper brainwashing techniques, then they will be adopted out to a nice family that lives in say, Kennebunkport, Maine, and never be told anything about their former lives. Seriously, though. These kids are bound to be so completely bunged up by now that I think that's the only way for them to escape without massive psychological harm. Debbie Rowe definitely picked a bad time to start this custody battle. Between the child molestation trials, child pornography, making the kids wear those damn masks all the time, AND that freakyloo dad of theirs making them move to BAHRAIN, is there any point to her attempt to rescue them at this juncture in their lives? The time for that would've been way back, like maybe when they were still in utero. Plus, he named 2, count 'em 2, of the kids Prince. What an utter monstrosity that guy is.

#4, thank you I was about to post that. If Debbie Mannish-Rowe really wanted them back she could prove they weren;t his. But then she'd have to give up all that money and the shiny new trailer she just parked on the mansion's lawn. She knows those aren't his kids, but she also knows where her meal ticket is. She brought two kids into this world and gave them to a monster.

You know those PETA freaks and animal control can take Bubbles and the rest of the Neverland menagerie away, but no judicial authority in the US can take those kids from MJ. I mean they let him go time after time for paedophilia, whats a little balcony dangling and blanket-over-head-wearing in public? Now they're in freakin Bahrain.

Oh Debbie, what have you done?

This isn't surprising at all. We knew he had to be paying her. You gotta wonder about a woman who's willing to hand over her kids to a guy who's been accused not once, but twice of molesting children. And who has obvious issues. And is insane. Is money really that much more important? Now they live in another country and have to wear scarfs and masks on their faces all the time. I can't wait to read their tell all books in a few years. Should be pretty crazy.

#4 & #9, I agree 100%. Those kids are WHITE. They are obviously not his. And I remember seeing some show about how he gave her a million dollar condo and would send her off on spa weekends and just basically pay her off for her kids. In my opinion, she's just as bad as him. Well, maybe not THAT bad. But now those kids have been living in his crazy version of the world for years and are gonna be scarred for life.

I hate to get all serious here but biracial kids could end up white or black. My kids are biracial and happen to be light brown but the fact is that it can go either way. Coincidentally though, my youngest child is named Blanket.

Those kids don't have it THAT bad. I've been to Bahrain and it is a magical place, filled with tiny, gentle people who can summon fairies with a little tune played on a flute. The fairies then in turn provide lollipops and sweet lullibyes to children. All in all, Bahrain is like a little slice of Heaven on Earth. And to think, most of us live in America or Austrailia. We're the ones that have it bad.

I think it's safe to say that those kids aren't his, regardless of whether they look biracial or not. This is a man who dressed in a full berka to go shopping. Do you think he's gonna get naked and have sex? Maybe it was artificial insemination, who knows. But any way you look at it, it was a huge mistake to leave those kids with him. Anyone see that special Living with Michael Jackson where he admitted to sleeping with kids? HELLO!!! RED FLAG!!!! DON"T LEAVE YOUR KIDS HERE!!!

i think we should stop and look at very real correlation between michael jackson's popularity and the unemployment rate of ninjas.

now that his popularity is falling through the floor, expect a slight rise in ninja employment in this first quarter. mostly because he will hire them by the dozens. you know, to molest them. or their kids. or their furniture.

After reading what Debbie got paid for those two kids, I realize what a bad business man I am. I sold all three of my kids to MJ for $200 , a lifetime membership into the "Wham" fan club, and a copy of "Thriller" personally signed by Latoya Jackson. Talk about getting fucked. I either want my kids back or Mike needs to sweeten the pot a little. I think my children's 24/7 molestation should at least warrant me getting a new Hyundai Sonnata.
He did make "Thriller" though. Thriller.

Nevermind, Mike- all is forgiven.

Personally i think you took it too far in saying that basically he paid his ex-wife $4 million as a divorce settlement. I'm all for making fun of celebrities. Even the repetitve to the point of tiresome jokes about druggin models put a sinful smile on my face. However, when it's about giving fat ugly ex-nurses $4 million dollars, essentially making her rich, it's bordering on either: really soulless, or having such bad writer's block that you could find nothing else to write about but a divorce settlement and a one line joke about a quadriplegic mute.

#17- Deja Vu

This is actually the first real "GUY" thing that he has done. I'm sure that 99% of the male population would pay this same amount to shut their wives up.

Sounds like she got a lot better deal than that Billy-Jean woman.

When he had these albino kids he was super rich right? WELL, maybe he got in on the genetic tweaking bandwagon and had his kid's black DNA pulled out to make sure they came out white. It's like a chocolate chip cookie recipe, only he left out the melanin.

Thats what I think he did. So there!

On another note, what's the deal with that beam that is shooting out of his pinky and going through his head in the above picture?

Oh, Papa, there you go again....making me squirt tears of laughter.

Hats off to you......or pants, whichever you prefer.

I feel like somewhere along the line he may have had some plastic surgery. Has anyone heard anything?

sweet jesus... i wish we could pay my husband's ex-wife to shut up.

Yeah Mistress, PAPA makes me wanna squirt too. Ooh, did I say that out loud?

#11, he had plastic surgery??? I thought everyone's noses just fell off!!

#24, he had plastic surgery?? I thought everyone's noses just fell off!

Oops! I posted 2 comments the same, one withthe wrong number on it. Stupid computer!!!

#29 Nevermind it was really funny both times.

I did notice that in that show he was on, the little boy had really really dark roots. How sick is THAT?! He is dying his own kids hair.

Debbie needs to move to Texas for a while. Then she can bring his spotted butt to a Texas Family Court - they would yank those kids from him so fast his head scarf would spin.... of course they probably wouldn't want the money whore to have them either.

Yeah - the kids are screwed.

You know what I don't get? how this guy who's $270 million dollars in debt, can't pay his employees and is living off some Arab prince has money to throw around at people. Is this monopoly money? Is it Neverland money? If I ever meet him, I'm gonna ask him what color the sky is in his world.

No matter how bad this Debbie whatever is...It can't be as bad as knowing your dad {if he is in fact their dad} bred you for sexual purposes.
The guy is pure, pure effing evil. Eval!

Got to level here, Michael Jackson does not need to prove how wacko he is no more. It's time for a Michael Jackson sex tape to leak, one of him making steamy love to a FEMALE only, or even Paris Hilton. Though, he will probably be covered in rubber from head to toe to avoid cooties, and be wearing a medical exam mask. I know, it may make us all go blind and possibly cause the television to explode and kill anything within a 10 foot radius of it, but at least it would make him look normal for a change. Though, I'd have to admit a Michael Jackson sex tape with a FEMALE would seem disgusting and repulsive, it may be a marketable tool in the world of She-Male/Transvestite adult flicks. Since he does indeed look like one. Plus, ya never know when the Clay Aiken one will leak, which would even be more frightenting than Jacko have intercourse with a FEMALE.

What the fucked-up part of this shit is that Michael did not lose temporary custody of his children during the time of his arrest, trial, etc. When severe charges being brought up against him i.e. ten felony counts for the alleged sexual abuse the law dictates that you lose temporary custody of your children, until you are found either guilty or not. If found guilty he would get supervised visitation with no overnight stays or vacations - period

What Rowe should have done was file a motion (before his trial went under way) regaining custody and/or more visitation of the children all depending if the children were in the state's custody or with a relative. Then when found guilty, it would be up to Jackson to file for a) custody b) partial custody and/or c) visitation.

However, this all sounds like a sick way for some down and out woman to get rich quick. Unfortunately these children are going to suffer as a result.

Remit $900K, and I'll be happy to shut up.
Paypal to www.HollysPrisonSpankings.com

Here's a picture of Michael's kid today. See he still has some color.

www.crotchjockeys.com/howdy.htm

Debbie's Work Posting Job Ad:

If you are superstar and you want to have children and appear to be a family man to help your image. Call Us! All applications accepted. We don't care if you are an alleged pedophile, or an in the closet actor. If you have the money we'll make you a babay. I have experience, though my reference will be unreachable as he is out of the country. Please contact me or my business partner Katie Holmes at...

The Mad Dater
"Because there's a Bastard in al of us"

Note to editor/writer - ninja jokes are funny about once a week.

Bahrain, perfect spot for a child molester to go about his filthy work. Women have no rights there and oil money rules. America really does not care if you are raping children provided you have enough money to keep ahead of the law. Keep up your filthy pederasty, Michael. America approves.

As horribly disgusting as he is, this almost makes me want to get married to him. Even if I am a guy, all I need really is a dress and lipstick. I think it'd work.

#12 - The kids are white. I know biracial people can look like whatever - (I am black and white) But c'mon. He did not want black babies. Not even half black babies.

#32 - I live in Texas and you called that! Jacko and Rowe would be awaiting execution by now!

She didn't want those kids ever. She was a surrogate for Jacko who had to legally marry him for publicity's sake. Is she feeling guilty? Too damn late! I really do feel sorry for those children but we are get a lot of entertainment in the years to come.

Sorry #41, that's Saudi Arabia. I realize that it's scene to make paint Arabic countries in a negative light, but women do have rights in Bahrain. Hope I didn't spoil your fun.

Sure women do have rights in Bahrain, just not many of them. Ever heard of Shiria law? It's wonderfull system where religous Muslim scholars(men) rule on issues such as divorce, child custody etc. Do I have to tell you how many cases go the womans way? Don't bitch about it though or bang 15 years in prison. Want statistics on the number of forced female circumcissions that happen every year in Bahrain? Sounds like real feminist paradise to me.

And you don't have "paint" Arabic countries in a negative light, you just have to look at them and see for yourself.

Hope I didn't spoil your fun.

I wonder which one of Michaels sons will end up marrying Lisa Marie Presley

Seriously, he has the worst case of Body Dysmorphic Disorder EVAH.

I agree with Poster # 2 - M.J. couldn't afford the ninja.

However the ninja would most likely kill M.J. for being a scumbag.

Look at the picture closely, his nose has been done so many times that his glasses cant sit straight on his face (although little boys apparently have) I hope he doesnt sell neverland or at least not the monkeys that inhabit it. The only thing that will prove that there is justice in this world is if he and his monkeys end up alone throwing fecal matter at each other, picking various parasites out of each others nether regions.

I'm just going to hide in my closet now. He's got some weird monkey parasite from his monkey.

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Testing ♥'s here!

What's up with this place?

they should pay somebody to shoot him.