I guess he didn't have the "balls" to go through with it.

i never thought he would go through with it. dating her was just a publicity stunt for him. i remember Robin Williams saying that he was shocked when they linked up after he introduced them. i guess Robin wasn't feeling the love. neither is Lance apparently. poor old Sheryl. you know she gave this her all.

Yeah, the thing is, I idolize Lance Armstrong cuz he's monkey-strong on the bike, etc. But when you read his first book he makes it sound like he and his first wife, Kristen, have the Love Story of the Century. And then they're divorced within five years; when his twins are still damp with afterbirth. And recently it's about how Sheryl will do anything to be near him and he's gaga for her. And they can't even make it to the wedding. Which should teach us that celebrity affairs are probably even more shallow than non-celebrity affairs, despite the breathless gloss from the press which imlpies that stars love each other in a way us plebes can't understand. My parents have been married for 48 years, ain't no one writin' stories 'bout them.

I've done spots on Lance which means I've watched a whole lot of his interview footage...all I can say is, between takes, his true colors come right through. She's much better off.

How...disappointing....NEXT!

cooliosis, nobody cares.

To celeb_hater - comment #1
hahahaha hahaha ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
effing hilarious

WHO FREAKING CARESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????!!!!!!!!!!1

POOR UNI-NUT! =(

Sheryl Crow sucks. Her songs are as intelligent as Lenny Kravits. Both went to the Dr. Seuss writing lirycks for lazy untallented asses. I remember when she got on Alannis for writing a song about oral sex. She's like I don't have to be sexual to be good. Then years later she bares middrift to be sexy. Hate her untallented, been dumped ass.

i'm from austin (where lance is from) and i know several people that have said he's a fucking asshole. then again, i hate sheryl crow, so i'm sad they broke up. they both suck and should be together. oh well. the only thing better than them being miserable together is them being miserable and alone mwahahha

Like others said, phenomenal cyclist, even more phenomenal asshole.

He's going after Heather Locklear. It's so obvious ;)

let's predict who Lance will whore himself out to next for the publicity. here's my list of his next poassible girlfriends/ego victims:
1. Jennifer Maniston -- he will get off on being hounded by the paparazzi.
2. Renee Zellwigger -- she is skinny and fit enuf; besides he likes them slightly aged.
3. Heather Locklear -- she needs the comforting. Plus he gets noticed.
4. Nicole Kidman -- if the rumors of a break-up with Urban are true.
5. Sharon Stone -- he likes attention-seeking older women.

who are your picks? :p

this is so great - i had no idea how common knowledge it was that these two are so frigging dreadful. he's an a-hole and she's a hack. (and why doesn't anyone ever mention her facelift, which she had done in conjunction with her '02 CD?) it's sad they broke up ... they made such a perfect pair

Mr. Superficial, you are evil! I love it. Is he an a-hole? I don't know, okay, I'll believe you. Does being up front, demanding, and knowing what you want make one an a-hole? If so than I strive to be an a-hole. Long live a-holes!

Isn't that the same statement that Nick and Jessica released to announce their divorce?

I guess he just wasn't Strong Enough to be her man.

He'll be onto the the next one in days. All these celebrity relationships are for publicity.

to #17: i agree. you know he's already lined up the replacement. it's just a matter of days til he announces it. ha ha.

Hahahahah Friday Night, Saturday Morning in some places and almost everyone has said "hahaha who f*cking cares, NEXT . ." hahahahahahaha.

I am drinking grapefruit juice and water and almost spit it at the screen. Sheryl kind of looks like Reese Witherspoon in that picture. Lance looks like he was hittin' the rails before that photo was taken.

Probably just 'Roid rage. The 'ANGER' might not last long - now that he's cut back a bit, and back in the cycle courier biz.
But if his next 'door-stopper' is called "It's Not About the Dyke" - I doubt they'll be back together.

Sheryl Crow is possibly the worst singer and songwriter working today. How she became such a success can only involve sucking a very evil cock back in the day--like Satan or Tommy Mattolla or similar. When she first broke out in the 90s, I could sort of see how she was cute, but now she's so emaciated and stretched thin I feel like I'm starving to death every time I look at her.

She is also a head case of magnificent magnitude. She runs off suitors like nobody's business (Kid Rock, Eric Clapton, Owen Wilson and--since I believe the rumors were true--Michael Jackson have all four been down a very psychodramatic road with her) and then writes such creepy songs about the experiences that I cannot imagine why any famous man without an active heroin addiction would even dare take the risk of speaking her name. Lance was probably in the French Alps when he first met her. Oxygen deprivation--it's the only explanation!

Seriously... What mentally sound man would date a woman who wrote "Strong Enough to Be My Man" or "Difficult Kind"? As if her dreadful Cat Stevens cover didn't nearly make all men turn gay anyway... So I tend to think the breakup, providing this was a real relationship, was all her fault. I get the feeling the whole, "I wanna have his kids and now" scared the hell out of Lance. Hint to Sheryl: Next time, if you want kids so bad hook up with a guy with an extant sperm count and eat a damn meal to get your estrogen working again.

I'm from Austin and I've heard the Lance-asshole rumors but since he is actually someone who succeeded on his own merit and against odds greater than just being butt ugly and unable to carry a tune, I tend to cut him some slack. A friend of a friend told me that his breakup with Kristen Armstrong was due to religious issues--she is a devout Catholic and he lost faith during his bouts with cancer. As he said, if there was a G-d he'd still have his balls, and who the hell am I to disagree? Evidently his wife did and it was the end for them. Sort of a cruddy reason to divorce, but a better story than just being so insane that not even Owen "Buttlicker" Wilson can stand you for long.

Yet it's her I feel sorry for. Now there's another emaciated, nipped and tucked, talentless basket case on an overcrowded market. Poor Sheryl.

Wow... That was a very long post. I had no idea how deep is my loathing for Sheryl Crow. Sorry about that.

la la, don't care.

I read his book he is so high and mighty....
hey guess what Lance?? you're not the first person to beat cancer, get over yourself...
move on sheryl, the only time you ever release a good cd is after a break up!

I dont know why people have to go and ruin things and "get" married.

Marriage ruins things, like kids. Don't have kids, im sick of slapping them around in public areas or kidnapping them.

It gets expensive, rat poison doesn't pay for itself.

Poster 3 has a point: Hollywood relationships can be more act than substance. But then again, maybe their lives are like that... they are on perma-impress mode so of course their relationships are chosen based on dramatic and "superficial" qualities, then suffer the strain.

I don't "hate" either one of them, but I can imagine Lance being a self-involved aggressive jerk (you have to be to be a high-level athlete trying to maintain world record-breaking domination for whatever crazy STRONG reason), and Cheryl being a tad overemotional, melodramatic, indecisive, fickle and change-crazy (she's had many a boyfriend, I suspect). Actually, in writing that, I see why they broke up. Chemistry and intensity, yes, the calm and clarity needed for staying power, hell no.

Poster 3 has a point: Hollywood relationships can be more act than substance. But then again, maybe their lives are like that... they are on perma-impress mode so of course their relationships are chosen based on dramatic and "superficial" qualities, then suffer the strain.

I don't "hate" either one of them, but I can imagine Lance being a self-involved aggressive jerk (you have to be to be a high-level athlete trying to maintain world record-breaking domination for whatever crazy STRONG reason), and Cheryl being a tad overemotional, melodramatic, indecisive, fickle and change-crazy (she's had many a boyfriend, I suspect). Actually, in writing that, I see why they broke up. Chemistry and intensity, yes, the calm and clarity needed for staying power, hell no.

Poster 3 has a point: Hollywood relationships can be more act than substance. But then again, maybe their lives are like that... they are on perma-impress mode so of course their relationships are chosen based on dramatic and "superficial" qualities, then suffer the strain.

I don't "hate" either one of them, but I can imagine Lance being a self-involved aggressive jerk (you have to be to be a high-level athlete trying to maintain world record-breaking domination for whatever crazy STRONG reason), and Cheryl being a tad overemotional, melodramatic, indecisive, fickle and change-crazy (she's had many a boyfriend, I suspect). Actually, in writing that, I see why they broke up. Chemistry and intensity, yes, the calm and clarity needed for staying power, hell no.

Poster 3 has a point: Hollywood relationships can be more act than substance. But then again, maybe their lives are like that... they are on perma-impress mode so of course their relationships are chosen based on dramatic and "superficial" qualities, then suffer the strain.

I don't "hate" either one of them, but I can imagine Lance being a self-involved aggressive jerk (you have to be to be a high-level athlete trying to maintain world record-breaking domination for whatever crazy STRONG reason), and Cheryl being a tad overemotional, melodramatic, indecisive, fickle and change-crazy (she's had many a boyfriend, I suspect). Actually, in writing that, I see why they broke up. Chemistry and intensity, yes, the calm and clarity needed for staying power, hell no.

Poster 3 has a point: Hollywood relationships can be more act than substance. But then again, maybe their lives are like that... they are on perma-impress mode so of course their relationships are chosen based on dramatic and "superficial" qualities, then suffer the strain.

I don't "hate" either one of them, but I can imagine Lance being a self-involved aggressive jerk (you have to be to be a high-level athlete trying to maintain world record-breaking domination for whatever crazy STRONG reason), and Cheryl being a tad overemotional, melodramatic, indecisive, fickle and change-crazy (she's had many a boyfriend, I suspect). Actually, in writing that, I see why they broke up. Chemistry and intensity, yes, the calm and clarity needed for staying power, hell no.

I'm sorry for the reposts... my posts were not displaying! Sorry guys!

Anyhow, see above,

A.

Is it just me, or does that pic of Lance make him look like a vampire? Or is that some skank rash he got around his mouth going down on Sheryl?

Yes, see above because we haven't seen it enough like so many guys who seen enough of Sheryl.

Thought she had a couple of interesting albums one or so ago but she is just a hippie retread chick and the retread thing gets tired, high mileage as I heard someone once say about her.

Don't have the links to Lance but no doubt with a sport as individualistic as cycling you have to be very aggressive and single minded to get and stay on top. Not excusing the bad temperment that comes with it but there is no excuse what Greg Lemond said in how Armstrong challenged him to be quiet about drug use or he would destroy his bike business.

So if that's the case, please the two of you please get back together. Do it for the assholes.

I think she has serious food issues. There's an article with her in the latest issue of Allure magazine where she mentions her weight several times (without the interviewer even asking her about it). Very weird.

I've also heard it wasn't a joint decision. She faxed him :
"The sun came up over the Santa Monica Boulevard Helmethair. See ya"
I think this was being a bit harsh.

I guess he told her he was serious about not bike riding again. She must of gotten pissed, cause the only time she ever was on TV was during the stupid Tour de France.

Oh, we'd rather watch the Triplets of Belville. Much more entertaining. Sheryl is too old for Lance anyway. Yawn. We heard that Kristen and Lance broke up because while the cat was away, the mouse started playing with the RunTex guy in Austin. Who could blame her? I mean, all the little children and no hubby around - - him getting all the fame and attention. Maybe she needed a little, you know, pick me upper. Sheryl is going to vanish into menopausal disgrace soon anyway. As the World Turns.

I can't stand Sheryl Crow! For those of you who think her album with Leaving Las Vegas wasn't bad, well that's because her ex-boyfriend wrote it. I can't remember his name but he later hung himself, they think it was that whole sex affixation thing. But, anyway she took all the credit in interviews because she's a bitch!!!

This couple had no chemistry and zero interesting qualities. Sheryl should get back to her original hair color, gain 10 lbs of soft womanly curves, and remember she's a MUSICIAN, not and ATHLETE. Lance should just jack off into the mirror, use his yellow rubber bracelet as a penis ring, smear his spooge all himslef and fall asleep sucking his thumb with visions of stupid bike races in his head. Self-absorbed competetive athleticism meeting creative musical talent was bound for failure from the get-go. Sheryl Crow if far from a musical favorite of mine. But you people who claim that she's a no-talent hack need to get bent. Her radio songs suck, but the woman has an impressive body of work and who cares if she blew anyone to get herself there. I once blew a music venue owner and got myself a gig in his venue. Guess what? He was an okay guy, I blew him because I wanted to, not because I wanted something out of it. Bonus if I did. Bonus to Shreryl for rising above the depths of school-teacher middle class hell in BFE to make something of herself. But GD, I cannot stand that Lance Armstrong. What a douche.

To all the people saying Lance in real life is really an ass. Please provide some real examples. I don't care either way, but O wpuld like some facts to back up the allegations.

I don;t even call this guy an athlete! Okay, recovering from the prostate, brain and lung cancer was pretty amazing, but the Tour de France is the biggest crock of shit out of any sporting event! Somehow this guy can be in 28th place and SOMEHOW GAIN TIME on his lead. Last time I checked, when your in 28th place, that means YOU'RE IN 28TH PLACE...Bob Costas said the same thing, so all you people that like this thing...go watch so god damn base ball.

That's a real bummer - but I'll be she's glad she no longer has to be seen with a yellow rubber bracelet on.

That's really sad - but I'll bet she's glad she no longer has to be seen with that yellow rubber bracelet on.

lol! "engagement ring being a yellow strip of rubber"

of course it couldn't last. he cheated on his ex-wife. you know, the one that stayed with him in spite of his long hours away from his family with young children, and stood by him during his battle with cancer?

how can anyone ever get in serious relationship with a KNOWN cheater?

#44, I am in NO way standing up for either of them, but I think he was already past the cancer when he married the now ex-wife. I seem to remember him saying that to set the record straight in some interview.

#44, Lance didnt even meet his ex until he had recovered from cancer.

And 41, in the Tour, its based on your time in each stage. If you come in first place 10 times in a row, and 28th in one stage, you'll still be in 1st because you have so much time on other people.

I'm relieved. He's a national hero and her music is truly hideous. He can do much better.

This thread has some very interesting comments. Notwithstanding the idiot who doesn't understand basic arithmetic when it comes to a race based on TIME.

Well let's give the 100 yard dash to the guy with the slower time then.

Duh.

I'm sick of those stupid yellow wristbands that suburbia made popular (as if all these people actually donated money to "show their support for cancer survivors" and not for trendy reasons) and Sheryl Crow's "music" is one of the most vanilla, formulaic, bland ca-ca ever played on radio.

I saw Sheryl Crow in concert once. Never a fan of her music, I came away with a more dismal impression of her personality. I don't think that she would actually fog a mirror and you have to wonder how she sings.

When I found out that he left his wife and kids to be with her, I was glad for both of them, knowing that they deserved each other. Unfortunately now they will both be out and about messing with other peoples lives.

Asenath7766 nails it as well as DUR...

Something about Ms. Crow that is desperate and tired.

I don't care about one's political mentality, but Crow's games are truly laughable.

She was visibly supporting the USA waging War in Kosovo (visiting the troops with the nightmare named Hillary) Then Crow turned around just a little while later (with a different President), making such a big 'say no to war' contradiction.

Fake as fake can be...

OK. No comments on the IwatchStuff thread. Hmmm.

I went there, read 2 pages. No smilez.

pwnd.

http://www.gillettem3power.com/us/home_f.asp

Use Noxema to moisturize afterward.

I challenged Lance to a "Who has the most testicles?" contest.

I won by five.

Do you think he's dumping her because her facelift looks a bit too Buzz Lightyear?

#45 #46,
thanks for setting me straight on that part, but aren't you missing the major point...?

They are so self absorbed, I'm sure it was because lance finally confessed he only had one jellybean and she confessed she was a talentless washup. The magic 8 ball says we must suffer at least 2 more post-breakup cd releases of canine-like howling about this.

I actually kinda like her music; maybe it's because it's such a far-cry from what I usually listen to, and sometimes I just need a change.

That being said, I don't know much about her personally because I've never been one to gape and gawk and immerse myself into famous people's lives. I like various people for what they do, not who they are, because 99% of the time, they are selling a 'product' that is not an accurate portrayal of themselves.

THAT being said, she looks like a fucking skeleton in that pic. She needs to put a few pounds on and loosen the knot at the back of her head and just let her face down when she lets her hair down.

Didn't Sheryl Crow used to be a man?

Remember Lance Armstrong's cameo in Dodgeball? That was brilliant!

I can't help but cheer for Lance, because he just works so damn hard. The fling with Sheryl Crow was pretty weird, though.

Gosh, until now, I thought I was the only one who thought Sheryl Crow was a hack. I'm glad to see I was wrong. Great minds...
I guess I'm not surprised to hear Lance is a dickhead because you probably have to be 100% self-absorbed to be so successful in his sport.

They seemed an odd match anyways. B/c I clearly know...being omniscient like I am.

i guess she got tired of him always trying to get the 'fastest time' in bed. also him putting sponsor stickers on her. he was also most likely tired of listening to her singing and playing guitar on the veranda and setting off all the car alarms.

It's funny, people think everyone should give a virtual cock sucking to Lance Armstrong because "He beat cancer and won the Tour De France", Well rockon, bitches, if we did that for every celebrity, we'd be leaking more proverbial cum than the pornstars of Hot Desert Knights' movies. I really don't care about him, his uniball, or that he won the Tour de France. Talent? Sure. Deserving of praise and adoration? Not really.

Oh and the yellow wristbands? Biggest trend EVER. most people I know got one because it was the "cool" thing to do. It was on par with the Jennifer Anniston hair of the 1990's.

i think sheryl got sick of the 1 BALL thing going on down there.. she just realized that 2 BALLs are better than 1

I think most of you are acting like superficial brats! Talk about irony, kids!

Fot god's sake, why does everyone think love is a publicity stunt? Seems it would be more difficult to have a fake relationship than a real one.

I love Sheryl Crow and Lance Armstrong. I'm really sorry that their relationship didn't work out. Just because it didn't work out, why do you'all think you can make fun of the fact that Lance had cancer? And poking fun of Sheyrl's age? Hopefully God willing you all will make it to that age and you will find that you feel the same as you you did when you were 20...only a heck of a lot smarter!

Your superficial comments fit this web site!

Ta Ta kiddies!

Um, can anyone tell me why this is important? I have no smart remarks to make on this one. Wait.....nope, nothing.

Strong enuf 2B UR man Sucks ass, true. And, I hate people who actually BUY and wear those bracelets. OK, OK, we get it. But do you know how many douchebags are selling those knockoff bracelets and NOT sending the proceeds to where they are supposed to go. Fucking sheep! I hate trend-followers. I know nothing about Lance Armstrong except that he rides a bike, won a bunch of races, and lost his testicle somewhere.

"all I want to do is ride my bike" I'ld do her.

tori, i'm also in austin, and have heard the same thing about lance being an asshole. i mean, to DEMAND tickets to a sold out show at a small theatre and then complain that they're not close enough is just ridiculous. I actually work there and had my mngr who had to deal with him, tell me this. i guess i just don't understand the whole celebrity mentality. i've got some advise for him though...lance, why don't you move to LA?? your head is getting way too big for this town!

I'm also in austin, and was told a specific story about lance & sheryl's "I'm holier than thou" asshole behavior. I work at a local theatre and my mng had to deal with these two. She said that they came to a sold out show, without tickets, DEMANDED tickets, and then once they got them, complained that they weren't close enough! People, this theatre is small and practically every seat is a decent one. my mng. said they both were assholes. I've got some advice for lance...why don't you move out to LA? It seems like your head is getting way to big for this town. You go on & on about what a great place this is....maybe it's because you're the big fish in a small pond??

sorry, didn't mean to do that twice! i didn't realize it already posted...DOH!

I'll tell you an odd couple is Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes?...Dont get me wrong i cant stand either one of them...But come in get real Hollywood,your slipping just a tad.

I really like Sheryl a lot but her last album really sucked. Now, hopefully she has material to write about on the next one. Incidentally, I saw her in concert one week before the announced split and after she said she was going to sing Strong Enough, she asked the audience if they were strong enough to hear the song. Someone yelled, "Lance Is" and she said, "Ohhh, if you only knew"...

Anyway, Sheryl is cool. But some of you are so mean, its funny.

All I know is, Lance at least has some real talent, and seems like a man that would be worth having - a little arrogance is better than being a total milquetoast.
Sheryl is a no-talent psycho who can't hold on to a man for long enough to get any of her previous string of boyfriends to marry her. Maybe the chick with a guitar thing is attractive for the initial attraction phase, but once they realize that she's writing her psycho lyrics about them, they're out the door! Also, she's 42, for Chrissake - Lance, try hooking up with someone who doesn't look old enough to me yoru mommy.

Geez, I wish I had enough time on my hands to ponder other people's relationships. They're just people folks...warts and all. Why people spend so much time dissecting the lives of others is beyond me. Lance rocks as a cyclist and obviously Sheryl has just a "few" fans out there because she continues to sell records. As far as their personalities out of these realms...who cares???? (Besides that...they've both got a ton more $$ than I do!)

Geez, I wish I had enough time on my hands to ponder other people's relationships. They're just people folks...warts and all. Why people spend so much time dissecting the lives of others is beyond me. Lance rocks as a cyclist and obviously Sheryl has just a "few" fans out there because she continues to sell records. As far as their personalities out of these realms...who cares???? (Besides that...they've both got a ton more $$ than I do!)

Jeejee, you said that you didn't care about their personalitites outside of the realms of their careers - shouldn't it be the other way around? A world-renown surgeon who beats her kids when she gets home from work is still a worthless bitch, in my eyes, no matter how much money she makes or how much she is admired by everyone else in the world.

I feel bad for Sheryl. I dated a cyclist for longer than she did, and although he was not nearly as talented as that asshole Lance, he did become obsessed with the sport and eventually chose the sport over me. I was like her - I went to as many of his races as I could, I cheered for him, learned about the sport, bragged about him, smiled with him proudly after his races, helped heal his road rash when he would fall, everything... it was ridiculous. And he didn't even come to my college graduation that I worked my ass off for. Guys out there: don't get addicted or obsessed over anything, whether it be cycling, football on tv, poker, whatever. The key is BALANCE! Support your partner as much as they support you. It's funny that Lance and Sheryl broke up after he was done with cycling and she started her tour... now HE was going to have to be the one to follow HER around! Too much to ask, I suppose.

I can't believe some you dreadful pricks out there and your incredibly rude comments. I know Lance and Sheryl personally and even though there's plenty to nitpick about their celebrity, they are both accomplished and genuine individuals. It's fine not to like em, hate her music or whatever, but without question they've both made equally credible contributions in many areas beyond their professions. In this internet day of age, it's likely they google-troll around the web, like I did just now, and stumble across this jabber...one other nasty aspect of celebrity they have to put up with...pointless jibberish written by people who don't amount to nearly as much.

It's so nice to here how much everyone loves Sheryl and Lance. For the ladies out there I pray to god you never have to go through breast cancer, and for all the boys with no balls shame. Weather you like them or not cancer will devestate your life oponions are one thing but bashing them as talentless thugs is wrong (Sheryl does need a little more junk in her trunk)but I sure don't see anyone of you haters on the billboard charts
or even close to a bicycle. I know Lance and rode with him He can be an ass so can we all.
Giv them both A break. Go see Simon on American Idol see if you stack up!

OK 20 lbs. It would be my pleasure to date a 44 year old rich or poor talet or no talent I also went through breast cancer with my wife and after 25 years of marriage My friends it changes EVERYTHING I dare any hater to sit next to any Woman who had both her breasts removed have posion pumpped into her heart while her hair falls to the floor and you can't do a damn thing about it. i'm sure Lances first wife went through similar situations I pray they find A less toxic cure soon before you or a lovone have to see it first hand Please just THINK

OK 20 lbs. It would be my pleasure to date a 44 year old rich or poor talet or no talent I also went through breast cancer with my wife and after 25 years of marriage My friends it changes EVERYTHING I dare any hater to sit next to any Woman who had both her breasts removed have posion pumpped into her heart while her hair falls to the floor and you can't do a damn thing about it. i'm sure Lances first wife went through similar situations I pray they find A less toxic cure soon before you or a lovone have to see it first hand Please just THINK