Jan 10 2006Paris Hilton is too drunk to walk

That's hot. They seem to have gotten bigger.

They only seem bigger because she's leaning forward. I love the complete look of care and concern on Nicky's face.
P. S. What the heck is that bodyguard carrying in the saddlebag that is the size of an actual horse saddle?

I may be completely insane but is that Kevin federline lurking in the background ready to pounce on an unsuspecting Paris?

That brown bag is her whore's overnight purse. It contains a jack knife, no condoms, lube, no extra panties and a pregnancy test.

Nicky probably hates her ass. She's thinking as she looks at her, "I'm so glad she got like 75% of the family slut genes."

"C'mon Paris, gotta get to the next sex tape shoot."

Wow, either her boobs weigh a ton or her jutting bones are digging into his hands, cus look how he's straining in that first pic? If that was me, I'd think of my safety first and let her ass stay on the ground.

She collapsed because she found out Hillary Swank was breaking up with Chad Lowe. Or maybe she tried to read, and her mind exploded.

He keeps touching her freaking breasts! MORE THAN ONCE!

Are those love beads around her neck?

I wonder if he gets find $3000.00 per jiggly he touched helping her?

As usual Paris is at one of her finest moments.

I think he was trying to figure out if SHE EVEN HAS BREASTS! Took him to cops of a feel to figure out she has some resemblence of tits.

Like a true sister... Niki looks on and smiles. On some superficial way, yah gotta love these two.

Ok, she's not that heavy. He seems like a big, burly guy. He's just using this as an excuse to cop a feel. I'm sure he was greatly disappointed and will never attempt to do that again.

Is she drunk or are those beads weighing her down? They probably are heavier then the pearl necklace she's used to.

It looks like her bag is the shape of a 12lb turkey, much like K.Fed following her.

"Yo, I sizzlewear I wasn't in the bushezzz.."

Job Description: Keeping employer vertical.
Job Benefits: Feeling employer's micro-boobies at will.

Firecat, those aren't love beads. She's wearing her birth control pills around her neck. She learned from Britney's mistake and has an industrial strength prescription.

Now we know where all of her old pets have gone...looks like they are wrapped around her shoulders...nice and warm paris...

And Nicky's like "Hehehe, no, I don't know her. No, never seen her before in my life, that moron *false smile*"

Didn't Paris say in several interviews that she only drank Red Bull because she didn't want to get drunk and make a fool out of herself? *shrug*

I saw a picture in Heat magazine today where she it looked like she was about to drown by a huge wave. I was ecstatic. She survived. My good mood was over.

You guys are so funny.

Here is my theory: Nicky is trying hard not to laugh. And the bodyguard is grabbing Paris's boobs so they won't fall out and be exposed to a disgusted public.

I think we've got it all backwards. The body guard is actually hanging onto dear life trying desperately not to fall into Paris' massive vagina.

Of course nicky hates her, wouldn't you be pissed if your sister got the name paris and you got nicole? marsha, marsha, marsha!

She makes this no fun anymore. It's too hard to be witty and sarcastic when her actions are tremendously more funny than us. It would be great if this was a misleading pic and we could "insert funny comments here." But the truth of it is that she is a drunken gutter skank that had to be held up by her mammary glands while her sister faked a smile in embarrasment. I'll be staying at the Radisson.

She wears the necklace so 1) she can get ridden like the slut that she is. Also when they hit it doggy style it can smack her on the face to let her know that there is a new rider on it. Also b/c she has no viginal sentation she loves her anal plugs!

Here's what I picture is going through the bodyguards mind as these pictures are taken:

"How did she get so famous with tits so small?"

"Did someone just open a can of tuna?"

"I knew I should have stayed in school.
I wonder if there are any job openings in Iraq?"

Penis Hilton is not drunk. She is clearly trying to give this man head because she has not had protein in like, hours. He's pushing her off in fear of getting herpes like his unfortunate buddies (he's the 3rd bodyguard
this month.)
I give it about five years before she dies from a bizarre penis-lodged-in-ear accident...hopefully Nikky gets her share of the cash. Maybe that's why she's smiling...hmmmm...

Her eyes are shut. Maybe she thinks if she can't see the photographer he can't see her?

Nikki is not just indifferent; she's amused. And so am I. Every day brings her more vindication of her choice not to hurl herself at the press like a bug at windshield.

LMFAO @ 20 & 24. Sportsgirl & HughJorgan just made me spew coke onto my LCD screen dammit! >=0

Why is the guy eating his bottom lip as if hoisting her drunk ass is one of the strongman competitions?

At least we don't have to see her mangled mangina in these pictures. Be thankful for the little things, people.

Hey, might as well cop a feel on the dirtiest woman when you have the chance right? Even though he'll be washing that hand, trying to get the spots out for quite awhile.

Hey, when did Matt Dillon become a bodyguard??

Matt Dillon is grunting in his desperate attempt to find a nipple to hold her up.

He failed.

first, these photos are from saturday night and I am pretty sure she isn't drunk since she didnt seem drunk at all the whole night and in fact I never saw her with a drink in her hand. Furthermore, the scruffy boy is david katzenberg, mk's on-off again boy, who also dabbled w/ nicky hilton.

LALALandLaw...were you like watching her the whole night...thats kinda creepy...

I saw this episode of Fear Factor. When she passed out again - the guy bailed. The skinny guy who could eat spiders prevailed took away the 50 gees.

and* took away

Those are some scary long fingers on the sidewalk. Aren't they?

Si llynnowens Si

ha ha ha...what a complete skank.

Maybe he was just making sure that her boobs didn't fall out of her dress.. OR maybe he was pushing them back in..
*cough*

Just an excuse to touch her tits in my opinion.

Surely it's clear that he is not helping her up. They are actually humping on the sidewalk like a couple of dogs. Grrr woof!

"Ride it, big boy!" groans Paris.

That giant bag is the sewn-together scrotums of every lowlife she has shagged before.

ACtually, he's just a guy in the crowd hwho saw her and thought an animal had jumped on her back and was attacking her -- he was trying to get her to safety.
Oh, Paris is an animal lover... oh yeah...right.

What I love is that she has that same insipid look on her face that she has in all of her pictures -- they much have to use a gallon of latex a week to keep that pasted on.

You know what's missing??? Tara...where has she been lately. the only pics i've seen are her shopping sober...Did hell freeze over when i wasn't looking??

Well everybody hates her now, Lindsay, Nicole, Mary Kate, and she's being sewed by like 5 people right now...I'd be falling down drunk too

Pfff if my sister fell over drunk I'd laugh too. Especially if she was Paris Hilton.

(Which would make me Nicky- I'd definitely laugh my ass off in that case.)

Hell, I'd still hit it....I mean with the class action law-suit coming against her for all the people she's infected with the clap....a few shots of pencillian and a cool million bucks later......I'll be living the good life...and by good life, I mean passed out face first in the sand of some god-forsaken New Jersey beach.....

The look on his face. "I have a somewhat hot secretary girlfriend only because my job appears somewhat glamorous to secretarial level dating prospects. Somehow I'm going to lose my job via fallout from photos being taken of drunken boss at this moment. Good-bye semi-hot secretary girlfriend." Thas right, motherfucker, you're doomed. Baggage handling will entitle you to brag you "work for the airlines", however.

Jesus...can Paris get any more trashier..her sister probably loves it only cuz it makes her look like less of a skanky rich bitch..just goes to show that money cant buy class..and as for her being drunk..ha ha..we all know Paris is a dirty druggie and has a huge cocaine problem..she gets worse and worse..if her family loved her so much maybe they should send the dirty whore to rehab...

You forgot Sophia Bush, she fucked her husband, Misha Barton, Nicole and the many others she's fucked over. Paris L. had her figured out, she uses and doesn't care that she hurts people. . .

Just remember Karma is a biach

I bet her g-hole smells like rotting Greek prepuce.

Maybe he's just trying to figure out which one is her off button. Or maybe if he turns them, the volume will go down.

I think he just did the 'parent going 50 and decides to stop arm out across the child-passenger chest to hold them in place like it's really going to help' move and accidentally touched her boobies while trying to keep her from needing nose #4 via sidewalk. I can't imagine him wanting to touch them for any other reason...

What breasts? She is a disgusting dried-up baked chicken. I wish I could kick her in her sundial nose.

Too drunk to walk? Pa-leeze! Why is she the only one staggering? She plays drunk cuz she just wanted to get her perky nipples groped and better the bodyguard than Kevin F in the back. Unless if Kevin refused and she got the one on payroll to do it. It happens so often the others are not even amused anymore. "Oops there she goes...again (ti-hi)...any-ho' "

Actually, I think this guy really is trying to keep her from flashing the photographers, and getting her breasts all over the internet. (As if people hadn't already seen them.)I guess he didn't realize that flashing the photographers was actually the point. He's so fired. It's sad that this man cares more about her dignity than she does.

why are you all being so mean to paris? we've all been drunk before! so whats the big deal?! can't she have some fun with out you bitches gettin involved?

That's funny as hell! I wouldn't make bodily contact with Paris Hilton because I'm STD free and like it. But, if I were her bodyguard and had already made contact with her, I'd grab a breast. What I really want to know is who took this picture?

but she's not too drunk to lay down ;)
http://hollywoodsnark.com

Some paople say Paris is a sleazy, slutty, supid ass. But you know what? I don't care I'd bang Paris and Nicky everyday of the week and twice on Sunday.