January 19, 2006
Michael Jackson's animals have not been abused
So, I'm curious. What is the age of consent for a giraffe, anyway?
The Department of Agriculture sent an inspector to the 2,600-acre ranch in Central California last month in response to a complaint from People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. PETA based its complaint on European tabloid reports that animals were being kept in substandard conditions."I'm unaware of any violations of the Animal Welfare Act at Neverland," Darby Holladay, a spokesman with the USDA in Washington, said Tuesday.
Is there any celebrity that's wasted more of America's good will than Michael Jackson? Ok, Whitney Houston, but who else? Really, I wanna know. Even though it took thrity years, it's shocking to see what Michael Jackson has become. This is where you scientists out there need to get on your grind. If you invent a time machine, you can go back to '83 like Doc Brown, and show Mike what he becomes. Then maybe he'd lay off the surgery and the being insane.
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Comments
1. Posted by Realistic on January 19, 2006 12:31 PM
"PETA based it's complaints on European Tabloid reports....". That's always a bad idea. I did that once and woke up in a spaceship being anally probed.
2. Posted by SuperSpence on January 19, 2006 12:32 PM
Doesn't supplementing a llama's diet with "Jesus Hay" qualify as animal abuse? And I'm sure manually stimulating two adult chimpanzees simultaneously has got to be a crime. If not, then the San Fernando Police Department owes me one hell of an apology. Anyway, the point is that Michael Jackson is a sick, perverted bastard and my criminal record is clean.
3. Posted by Jayne on January 19, 2006 12:49 PM
thank God.
All this time I cared less for the 10 year olds and more for the giraffes.
4. Posted by Jenny on January 19, 2006 1:37 PM
I just want it to stop. I want it all to stop. I just want him to go away. Please let him go away! Take away the kids, take away the animals, lock him in a cage. Please save us from another trial.
5. Posted by uncommonamerican on January 19, 2006 1:42 PM
Someone needs to call Human Rights Watch because I'm being abused just looking at his face.
6. Posted by HollyJ on January 19, 2006 2:37 PM
I hear it's legal to anally rape prepubescent boy giraffs in Bahrain.
7. Posted by Spindoc on January 19, 2006 4:33 PM
Actually, the animals were checked on over a month ago, since that time staff has quit, electric bills havn't been paid etc... the animals could very well be in trouble now. But on the bright side, all the animals have gone through puberty so they won't be in any danger of being fondled in the shower.
8. Posted by Larry on January 19, 2006 4:58 PM
The only thing weirder than assembling a motley crew of wild animals at your McMansion is assembling a motley crew of wild animals at your McMansion and then immediately fleeing it, never to return.
9. Posted by duba on January 19, 2006 5:18 PM
I'm serious in what I wrote. I was having this discussion the other day. Who has lost more favor in the eyes of American's than Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston? If you're older than 18, you'll remember when they were royalty and could do no wrong.
A golden shower goes to the poster with the best answer.
10. Posted by Shaun on January 19, 2006 11:02 PM
This confirms my theory.
http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/2006/01/18/ricky_martin_and_the_golden_sh.html
Its going to happen. :D . . blah
11. Posted by Monkey on January 19, 2006 11:06 PM
What's the big deal? I gave a giraffe a reach-around once. He didn't seem to mind.
12. Posted by vida on January 20, 2006 2:18 AM
Michael's an angel!! Leave him alone. There's no abuse at Neverland...not with kids...not with animals. Don't u know that angels don't have sex organs?
Correction: There's abuse ...but what he does to himself is nobody's business but his.