January 20, 2006
Jessica Simpson has something in common with you
Love of breasts. Spefically, hers. To me, her breasts are as lovable as an animated sidekick from a Disney movie. But, hey, I'll let her tell it. After all, she's known them much longer than I have. She recently told Heat magazine:
"I have amazing boobs. They’re just perfect. At school, my boobs were bigger than all my friends and I was afraid to show them. Now, I feel they make my outfits look better. They're like an accessory."
Accessory? Accessory to murder! My grandpa was watching The Dukes of Hazzard movie on DVD. When Jessica Simpson came on the screen he yelled, "I love boobies!" and then he died. I cried, but then I noticed Jessica Simpson's breasts on screen and forgot about the whole messy ordeal. Wait, what were we talking about again? Something about boobs?
Credit RT for the tip.
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Comments
1. Posted by Devil Is Chrome on January 20, 2006 5:47 PM
She has the personality of a puddle.
2. Posted by mikeski on January 20, 2006 5:51 PM
A boobalicious puddle, though, to be sure.
3. Posted by DrDanny on January 20, 2006 5:52 PM
Personality? Who said anything about that? We're talking about boobs, and there's no denying hers are World Class. Ass too, for that matter.
4. Posted by Autumn on January 20, 2006 5:56 PM
She's definitly had some work done to them!! Atleast a lift after all that weight loss. I used to be a fan, but not anymore, she's just too celebrity now.
5. Posted by Jayne on January 20, 2006 5:58 PM
My favorite Jessica boob quotes come from her father..who seems to fascinated with her lovely pair.
You know he hates Ashlee because of her average tits..it's great.
6. Posted by MissMarie on January 20, 2006 6:04 PM
Didn't you guys post Ashlee Simpson saying almost the exact same thing about her breasts a while back?
Is their father oogling their boobs and brainwashing them or something?
7. Posted by SoCalGal420 on January 20, 2006 6:18 PM
She represents alot of why the Feminist/Womens Movement will never progress, and it makes me sad to see and hear otherwise intelligent people gush all over her. Since when has an idiot (fake) blonde with big tits been huge news that must be reported? Maybe it's b/c I've lived in TX and Cali; I've just had my fill of dumb, fake blondes and big tits, who cares!? Tits are bags of fat and tissues, why are they a big deal at all? I have 36DDs and they just get in the way! I can't find shirts that close all the way, can't wear cute little spaghetti strap tops, etc. Fuck this bitch!
8. Posted by Evangelia on January 20, 2006 6:41 PM
Boobs are boring.
9. Posted by HughJorganthethird on January 20, 2006 7:28 PM
Substitute "boobs" for "warts" and this post is way funnier.
10. Posted by Captain Awesome on January 20, 2006 7:44 PM
I thought she was going to say "Breathing"
11. Posted by BuffyH on January 20, 2006 8:19 PM
Kill me. Please.
12. Posted by ESQ on January 20, 2006 8:30 PM
I love her boobs too. I would want to use them as a mouth accessory.
13. Posted by SuperSpence on January 20, 2006 9:28 PM
Envy is ugly, ladies, and it won't make your boobs bigger. And after all, isn't that what we all want?
14. Posted by Retardo Montalban on January 20, 2006 9:29 PM
"I have amazing boobs. I do, I know it. They're not too big, not too small. They're just perfect." - Ashlee Simpson
http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/2005/12/07/ashlee_simpson_has_issues_1.html
15. Posted by SugaryCherry on January 20, 2006 9:33 PM
Wow, her friends must have consisted of one package of hostess sno-balls if her boobs were bigger than them.
16. Posted by BrendaPayne on January 20, 2006 11:05 PM
This is too similar to Ashlee's comment that I find it hard to believe that both sisters said it. I've always thought Jessica had world-class knockers, but SoCalGal420 reminded me that tits are simply "bags of fat and tissues," which suddenly made her rack seem about as appealing as a pair of big fat man boobs.
17. Posted by hermanita on January 20, 2006 11:35 PM
In other words: "omg the only thing I ever had were boobs, but I didn't realise that when showing them I could get jobs up until now!" This girl is so stupid and talantless. Any stripper you find from any strip club would be 100 times smarter, prettier and surely less slutty. It's sad, really.
18. Posted by Populist on January 21, 2006 12:23 AM
A lot of women like to slam men for being obsessed with their own genitals. Joe Crotch-Grabber, meet your female counterpart, Jessica. Or Ashlee. Or Jennifer Love-Hewitt. And Jess shouldn't brag too much. I've seen pics of her in a dress without any "support", and there's definately a sag factor involved.
19. Posted by Shaun on January 21, 2006 12:43 AM
I agree with Poster # 1. A puddle sums it up.
Poster # 14. Ashlee Simpson? Come on now. Ashlee is a boot and will always be one. She is like the tissue paper Jessica uses to wipe her nose with.
20. Posted by Retardo Montalban on January 21, 2006 1:31 AM
Hey, she said it, not me.
21. Posted by Allie4lfe on January 21, 2006 5:42 AM
they twisted her words.. typical..
22. Posted by TorontoBaby on January 21, 2006 11:22 AM
Yeah...we'd all have nice boobs too if we had a top surgeon in Hollywood fix them. If anyone actually believes those tits are real, you are really blind. She used to have the saggiest tits on earth. When she lost all that weight, they became even saggier and then she got the implants. You're not fooling anyone Jessica. And why on earth is she making comments like that anyways? She's absolutely repulsive. I'm definitely not JEALOUS (first of all...jealous of what?) cause I have very big boobs and that is how I know hers are fake. And whoever said her ass was nice must be on crack cause it's the flattest ass I've ever seen on a woman. Dukes Posters = butt padding and airbrushing.
23. Posted by convictchick on January 21, 2006 12:41 PM
aw i love jessica. every educated feminist bone in my body tells me i should detest her, but theres just something i find adorable. she reminds me a bit of marilyn monroe....the vulnerability or somethin.
of course she has none of marilyns talent. and she hasnt shagged a kennedy. yet.
24. Posted by popcornsuite on January 21, 2006 1:09 PM
Her Daddy said she has nice boobs too.
This family is starting to really, seriously sicken me.
25. Posted by Sheva on January 21, 2006 1:13 PM
Leave Jennifer Love out of it.
She's my favorite sweetheart.
26. Posted by lebowski on January 21, 2006 1:15 PM
Get this cunt and her fat-ass tits out of my face.
27. Posted by Jeremy1Esq on January 21, 2006 3:07 PM
as long as there are men on the planet, women like Jessica will never need a personality.
28. Posted by Cuore56 on January 21, 2006 3:56 PM
I really don't like her at all. She's changed so much over the years, but her singing voice is overly breathy and dramatic. I hope she stays single for a very long time & doesn't reproduce. And p.s. there's a typo...it should say specifically, not spefically.
29. Posted by minxy on January 21, 2006 5:08 PM
Jessica Simpson's boobs = her career. So she should def. appreciate them.
30. Posted by PostAcidYouth on January 21, 2006 5:34 PM
Hm. Yes. No wonder she adores her breasts. It's not like she has anything else going for her. Like talent. Or brains.
31. Posted by hafaball on January 21, 2006 8:56 PM
As long as she shows her boobies, and doesn't open her mouth...but i don;t think thats possible.
32. Posted by BEAM on January 21, 2006 9:48 PM
She wouldn't be the mega star she is now without her trademark perfect rack. That is mostly what attracts her male fans, not her acting or singing.
33. Posted by thatsmyname on January 22, 2006 8:58 AM
Please, you were never afraid to show your boobs Jessica. Why do celebs always think they have to have a sad story?
34. Posted by Georgia on January 22, 2006 12:04 PM
I'm not impressed with her chest.
After loosing all of that weight they shrank. They aren't any larger than Scarlett Johanssons
35. Posted by PostAcidYouth on January 22, 2006 1:05 PM
agreed with 'thatsmyname'...I highly doubt miss simpson ever had a problem with her breasts. Although I'm loathe to describe them as perfect...they're large for her frame and she comes across as quite cartoony
36. Posted by HollyJ on January 22, 2006 10:06 PM
I'm no fan of hers, but there's just no winning for her, no matter WHAT she says or does....
If she says "Oh I hate my breasts.." people would crucify her with the whole "I hate when beautiful women whine about their bodies--the bitches!" thing...
So she admits she likes them, and people crucify her for that too.
Perhaps she should just stand and say nothing, just to be safe. Of course, then people crucify her for being an idiot with nothing to say.
God, I'm glad I'm not in her boobs... er.. shoes...
37. Posted by tracym on January 22, 2006 11:35 PM
For all the people dissing on Jessica - what is the big deal? It seems like you're awfully worked up over nothing. If she's so dumb and annoying, why are you spending your time looking at her and reading about her. Really - get a life.
38. Posted by AmberDextrose on January 23, 2006 5:45 AM
Does anyone else remember a Farside cartoon with a goofy girl lying in bed thinking "I think I really like vanilla..."?
39. Posted by HughJorganthethird on January 23, 2006 6:39 AM
I love the enivitable "If she's so dumb and annoying, why are you spending your time looking at her and reading about her. Really - get a life " comment that pops up almost every day. Get a life? Hello? If your so smart and leading such an interesting life why the fuck are you reading the SuperF? What you should be reading is the dictonary. Look up "irony" see if you can wrap your big brain around the concept before you make anymore annoying posts Einstien.
40. Posted by Larry on January 23, 2006 10:02 AM
"Boobs are boring."
You bet they are ... as long as "boring" is a synonym for "something that makes men as big and hard as a cannon."
It's interesting that her boobs were actually bigger than her friends in school. That would make for some very small friends, or some very, very big boobs. We're talking bigger than Kitten Natividad big.
41. Posted by Tracy on January 23, 2006 3:29 PM
You never hear celebrities say anyting truthful, like, "My left boob looks like an old sock with an orange in it and my right one looks like a undercooked fried egg." Now THAT would be refreshing!!
42. Posted by Miss Gulch on January 23, 2006 4:33 PM
:::yawn::: What, did she invent the wheel? Most women have got what she's got -- we just don't put ours up for sale.
43. Posted by drdisaia on January 24, 2006 1:55 AM
One thing this chick knows is how to get the media in a shark-like frenzy. Talking about her boobs will do it.
44. Posted by COMMONSENSESAYS on January 26, 2006 12:32 AM
Wow Jessica
Could you get any dumber.
45. Posted by WTF? on September 1, 2006 11:59 AM
Ya right. Had them in school. -They perform plastic surgery in school now?
46. Posted by HollywoodSnark on December 12, 2006 7:24 PM
wow, we're soul mates - i love her breasts too - http://hollywoodsnark.com