January 19, 2006
Alicia Keys has a secret
It doesn't have anything to do with her hairy chest, proactiv, or her gorilla boobs, either. She has a boyfriend. And this guy couldn't help her pluck her body hair?
Keys acknowledged that she's been with the same person for quite some time now, and that she sees herself as being with that same person when she starts a family.
"Well. Well ... You know, I have to say, the person I'm with is really special," Keys said after smiling playfully. "And I'm lucky because when I go out with friends to parties, I say to myself, 'Self, what in the hell would you do if you didn't have somebody who loved you?' I mean, really. I look at these guys and it's like, 'Who are you? What do you even think about and what are you representing? Do you even know me? And do you want to know me or ... ?' It's scary. And I think about how uncomfortable I would feel trying to find love among so much falseness. So I feel very, very, very blessed to have someone so special to me. Someone who I know cares about me. That's what it's about. I'm pretty lucky."
Lucky says it, because I don't know too many dudes that are gonna be willing to put up with hairy nipples. Especially for the sake of his offspring. How much do you think those therapy bills are gonna be, when their kids remember being forced to nurse?
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Comments
1. Posted by SuperSpence on January 19, 2006 1:59 PM
Although that rambling jumble makes Alicia Keys appear about as articulate as a 12-year-old, she seemed to be pretty careful to avoid specific pronouns. How do we know she has a boyfriend? Maybe she's got a girlfriend. Which would explain those hairy nipples.
2. Posted by KMac on January 19, 2006 2:17 PM
Ok... Enough with the hairy nipples. She's half black. When black women get their hair done, as it clearly is in that photo, it breaks off easily. My fiancee's hair breaks off all of the time and sometimes it looks like that. I understand that's it's a little funny looking and her "people" should pay a little better attention, but dammit people! it happens.
About her boyfriend of whatever, yay. Maybe he can get her to stop talking like a thug and write more songs.
3. Posted by HollyJ on January 19, 2006 2:26 PM
Who cares ?
4. Posted by sammygirl on January 19, 2006 2:50 PM
Alicia Keyes is Miss Femininity USA compared to this she-man:
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001760/
5. Posted by SuperG on January 19, 2006 2:55 PM
KMac...thank you!
When that photo of Alicia was originally posted I thought the same thing, hair breakage from combing/styling.
She's gorgeous!
6. Posted by uncommonamerican on January 19, 2006 3:00 PM
Is it Chewbacca?
7. Posted by BEAM on January 19, 2006 3:45 PM
"About her boyfriend of whatever, yay. Maybe he can get her to stop talking like a thug and write more songs."
LOL. Good point. Why on earth do people try to dumb themselves down? Is that supposed to be cool if you speak like some kind of dope? What is this world coming to.
8. Posted by Captain Awesome on January 19, 2006 4:10 PM
The sad part is when she first started, she wrote some really good piano work and actually "sang" I guess after no one noticing her, she decided to do the MTV thug theme.
Which ended up sounding as hardcore as Eminem's stuff.
9. Posted by Starla on January 19, 2006 4:35 PM
Well good for her. :)
As for the chest hair, that is exactly what it looks like. It doesn't look anything like broken off hair that just so happened to "fall" off right in between her boobs. As for the bad skin, she should wash more and definitely use the proactiv. That stuff is great when used correctly!
10. Posted by duba on January 19, 2006 5:24 PM
My fiancee's hair breaks off all of the time and sometimes it looks like that. I understand that's it's a little funny looking and her "people" should pay a little better attention, but dammit people! it happens.
This is officially for the birds. So, youre telling me that everytime she "gets her hair done" these loose hairs keep falling in the same place? Or you're saying that the hair fell off once, she said "Ooo, that looks pretty cool there!" So, then she super glued it.
???????????????????????????
11. Posted by MortyFishbein on January 19, 2006 5:34 PM
Spence, that's true. This bitch is playing the Pronoun Game. Alicia Keys is a great big dyke. But that's cool. Ask those who've seen her in certain clubs in NYC . . .
I like her. I will tell her secrets. She can just think of me as the pages of the Enquirer. (To the tune of Alicia Keys' "Diary")
I've been waiting for a biracial Janis Ian for quite some time.
12. Posted by andrewthezeppo on January 19, 2006 8:29 PM
Damn you Kobe!!!
13. Posted by Shaun on January 19, 2006 11:09 PM
I agree with HollyJ post #3.
Who Cares.
14. Posted by EMBR on January 20, 2006 2:17 AM
I bet you 1000 dollars that the person is not a man, but a woman. 1000 dollars. I'll give you my bank account number and when it's splashed all over headlines that Alicia Keys is a lesbian even though she denied it in the past, you can give them back to me and give me your own. And I will laugh at you. Laugh, I say.
15. Posted by AmberDextrose on January 20, 2006 5:17 AM
Scenarios:
a) hairstylist gives her quick trim and some strands fall on her chest, sticking to her body oil, or whatever.
b) she is in fact a baboon. A spotty one at that.
16. Posted by PapaHotNuts on January 20, 2006 9:47 AM
She has a secret alright, a secret in the same fashion of "The Crying Game." Suprise, honey! Check out my big ol' penis. But those aren't pubic hairs, those actually fell right there after I got my hair did. You see, black women's hair sometimes breaks off easily and makes it way into my pants and settles right here above my ding-a-ling.
P.S. I really need a new hobby.
17. Posted by DannyJames on January 20, 2006 11:41 AM
alica keys is a fuckin dyke and to those who dont know it i am amazed. Whenever someones love interest is gender nonspecific you know somethings up. Not that it even matters that shes likes to eat the tang, just come off it already you aint foolin no one.
18. Posted by hermanita on January 20, 2006 11:53 PM
haha PapaHotNuts. That was funny. But I agree, why the hell is her hair falling only on her chest and not on her neck/shoulders/face?? hmm anyways it looks pretty nasty under her armpit too. -_- And don't tell me that her hair fell there too, cause I'm gonna pass out laughing.
19. Posted by PhDiva on January 22, 2006 4:18 AM
1) Alicia Keys is a very beautiful person, and this is recognized across racs. I'm starting to think that the person writing is a victim of a racist aesthetic senisibility and cannot actually see any black woman as beautiful regardlss of whatever's going on with her hair. Very unfortunate. I've never read anything nice about a black woman on this site.
2)Yes, this sounds like the missing masculine pronoun is deliberate, and this woman is a lesbian. I'm surprised at how obvious she was about it.
20. Posted by duba on January 22, 2006 5:09 PM
[quote]I've never read anything nice about a black woman on this site.[/quote]
just wait...just wait.
21. Posted by hermanita on January 24, 2006 6:32 PM
whoever said I've never read anything nice about a black woman on this site...uhm there has been plenty of good stuff said about per example Beyonce.. O_o
Anyways, Alicia's not only as hairy as a man, but as sweaty as one too.
http://www.tackystars.com/pics/alicia_keys_sweaty_armpits.jpg
That's just freaky. I'm thinking she used to be one.
22. Posted by sarakai on January 26, 2006 1:25 AM
What a great friend Alicia is, talking about her friends with such tenderness. If my friends called me full of "falseness" I'd just wanna give 'em a great big hug. Lucky she's got such a loving boyfriend cos she ain't got have anyone else after this gets around!
23. Posted by dj2006 on February 6, 2006 2:13 PM
Why don't you lot just bend over and start typing out of your a**? Are you lot the same retards that said Ciara was a man...i think most haters are simply jealous, or hold a personal vendetta...some idiot said she lost her touch...i guess thats why she won 4 grammys last year...
If you want to criticise R&B stars at least make the claim genuine...calling her a gorilla? Go say that to Janet Jackson (she's piled on a few thousand punds)...now that would make sense, saying she's lost her touch, tell Whitney that...dont pick on someone who doesn't deserve it!
24. Posted by Quiggie on February 24, 2006 6:17 PM
Alicia Keys looks far from a hairy gorilla or anything remotely close. Leave her alone she is a very talented young lady.
25. Posted by vnastygurl13 on June 26, 2006 4:20 PM
omg alicia keys is not hairy god damn it and im glad she has someome who loves her and i bet they'll have sum pretty ass babies. take a beautiful songstress and a lucky man and u get the world's luckiest kids!!
26. Posted by HollywoodSnark on December 12, 2006 7:39 PM
good lord! did you see that hairy chest picture? who the hell would date her? http://hollywoodsnark.com