December 29, 2005
Oprah is surrounded by liars
So it turns out that Oprah's plane was grounded because of natural wear and tear on the windshield and not because a bird hit it.
“There was no bird involved, but the pilot did tell my captain that he felt it was a fatigue thing with the glass,” Battalion Chief John Ahlman, a Santa Barbara City Fire Department spokesman, said Tuesday.
And the fact that I've made two posts about Oprah's plane this week should be proof enough that I have way too much time on my hands. Maybe instead of reading about how Oprah is so rich that she could buy my family and enslave them, I'll do something more valuable with my time. Like farting on people I don't like.
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» Paris Hilton gets served
» Kevin Federline's website is real
Comments
1. Posted by conceitedhipster on December 29, 2005 8:08 AM
Oprah disgusts me.
2. Posted by Cy on December 29, 2005 11:33 AM
Whenever I hear the words "bird," "hit," and "celebrity," I flash to Fabio on the roller coaster.
Oh why, oh why, couldn't this have been "Oprah nailed in face by bird"??
3. Posted by tothemax on December 29, 2005 12:44 PM
Because, Cy, there is no Santa Claus.
4. Posted by WaitWhat? on December 29, 2005 1:33 PM
I think it was Stedmand trying to escape
5. Posted by MortyFishbein on December 29, 2005 1:39 PM
Who gives a flying fuck about this bitch's plane? Really. Who?
6. Posted by IRMV on December 29, 2005 2:56 PM
so no foul play was involved?
7. Posted by Zanathon on December 29, 2005 5:29 PM
#6's post is cheesy goodness.
I think Oprah gave the command to make the bird "disappear" as if she was a gangster in an episode of the Sopparannos. But instead of swimming with the fishes, the bird in question is basking in the hydrocloric acid in Oprah's cavernous stomach, where no one will EVER find it.