December 7, 2005
Lindsay Lohan flakes out
Sometimes I call in sick for work on days when I would rather sit at home and play Madden while downloading porn. In the case of Lindsay Lohan's absense yesterday morning on "Live with Regis and Kelly," I'm guessing the motivation is either that, or spending time burning Wilmer Valderamma voodoo dolls in a flaming pile of feces.
Lohan, announced as a guest on yesterday's "Live," was a no-show - apparently canceling five minutes after the show went onto the air because of food poisoning.
We all know this is a total lie. Lindsay doesn't eat nearly enough to get food poisoning. Maybe she overdosed on whatever it is that's making her boobs utterly disproportionate to her body.
Lindsay Lohan pulls a no-show [Page Six]
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Comments
1. Posted by southtexasgal on December 7, 2005 6:33 PM
I saw her on TRL yesterday....
she did not look sick.
2. Posted by CoJo on December 7, 2005 6:54 PM
Maybe she DID try and finally eat something and that's what made her sick...it wasn't that it was BAD food...it was just food.
3. Posted by JessaCita on December 7, 2005 7:24 PM
I was watching the beginning of "Regis & Kelly" yesterday morning, and at 9:15 (!), the hosts were informed (on-air) that Lindsay was "sick"... As soon as Gellman said it was "food poisoning", I turned to my roommate and said, "Bullshiiiiiiiiit! Lindsay Lohan doesn't eat... She's hungover." Don't get me wrong--I kind of like Lindsay. At least the "old" Lindsay. But seeing as though she was on "TRL" later that day, how sick could she be? I'm telling you--Hangover.
4. Posted by ebayfan414 on December 7, 2005 7:46 PM
She couldn't get on the show because her boobs were misbehaving. Since she's been starving herself, her boobs have somehow taken on a mind of their own. Probably because they got tired of waiting to be fed. Anyway, lindsay spent that entire morning chasing her boobs around her house until she finally realized that they were actually attached to her chest.
5. Posted by Monkey on December 7, 2005 7:53 PM
Girls don't have diarrhea. Girls don't have diarrhea. (I'm going to just keep repeating that to myself until it's true.) Girls don't have diarrhea.
6. Posted by derekd on December 7, 2005 7:57 PM
And we care because...????
7. Posted by IKillChildren on December 7, 2005 8:51 PM
Yeah, coked-up drug addicts dont really eat...so maybe she picked up some nasty cocaine with B12 in it and it made her have "the runs".
8. Posted by Sally on December 7, 2005 9:51 PM
It's so sad that at this point Ashlee Simpson is better looking... I loved Lindsay in 'Mean Girls'(please don't judge me)but I can't understand why somebody with her money doesn't have someone to tell her that her hair colour is clashing with her skin tone - so much so it makes ME sick too. I never believed the Coke rumours, but now I think why else would she go out looking all dirty and witchy and patchy (that'd be the fake tan)...
BTW: her head's fat...
9. Posted by bafongu on December 7, 2005 10:19 PM
I guess it's trendy to look like you fell out of a moving vehicle into a wet spot left by a garbage truck filled with fish guts and discarded human organs. Soon all these girls will look like is a skull with skin stretched across it with sunken eyes and vacant stares.
10. Posted by Juliette on December 7, 2005 11:08 PM
I have always thought that girls who starve themselves end up looking all dried out and wrinkly when they are 25-30. The skin/hair/nails needs fat to look good!
Back to the story though- that is terrible she would call 5 mins before...come on! I bet she will never be asked back.
11. Posted by sirokai on December 8, 2005 12:47 AM
When will people learn that people like Lindsey are totally irresponsible? You don't cancel on a show like that.
12. Posted by ochamelon on December 8, 2005 2:18 AM
I want Lindsay Lohan to die. I was hoping this food poisoning story is true because you know, people die from food poisoning. Actually replace food poisoning with STI and she long lesbian romps with Ashlee and Hilary and Simple Plan and they can all DIE and GOOD MUSIC WILL COME BACK TO EARTH!
Or so I hope.
God... what happened to good music? Like The Clash... Led Zeppelin... hell i'll even go the extra mile and say George Michael...
13. Posted by derekd on December 8, 2005 5:41 AM
She looks like a fuckin bobblehead.
14. Posted by Romeo Foxtrot on December 8, 2005 9:02 AM
maybe i'm turning gay with age but sitting around playing madden seems so much better than hanging out with girlfriends lately
15. Posted by jujucabana on December 8, 2005 9:43 AM
yeah George michael, atleast pop music was where it belongs then. george michael was just cheesy fun and happy. instead of pop musicians, being fake rock stars.
16. Posted by thesuperficialist on December 8, 2005 10:46 AM
Why won't she just die?????
17. Posted by Dashing and Daring on December 8, 2005 12:55 PM
I love Lindsay, even with her lame excuses and pretentious facade. She's got big eyes that make her 100% shaggable, even if she's just skin stapled onto a skeletal system. I'm sure there was a perfectly good reason for her to diss Regis & Kelly and then show up at TLC or TMJ or whatever crap MTV is force feeding our uneducatable youth.
18. Posted by SkyeZ11 on December 8, 2005 1:59 PM
I interned last year at Regis and Kelly when Lohan's first album came out. It was supposed to be her LIVE singing debut. Instead she cancelled her performance 10 minutes before the show started saying she had a sore throat. Maybe she has a vendetta against Regis--or maybe she's just a no-talent shriveled whore-bag. Oh yeah, that's it.
19. Posted by ~S.Starr~ on December 8, 2005 2:22 PM
I saw her performance at the American Music Awards...
#1. She was wearing mini old lady nightgown w/ heels
#2. Her back up singers were singing so loud that you couldn't here Lindsay singing at all...done on purpose I am sure
#3. Her stage performance was horrible...She looks like bambi trying to walk for the first time...in heels.
Absolutely horrible performance.
20. Posted by Twitchy on December 8, 2005 4:49 PM
I don't think you're getting the picture.
The media machine says she's popular.
Therefore she's popular.
The media machine says she a hot young lolita.
Therefore she's a hot young lolita.
Her time will be up when the media machine says it's up. Complain all you want. You'll still jerk off to her picture because the machine told you to.
21. Posted by ochamelon on December 8, 2005 7:39 PM
Can't say i'm turned on in the least whilst Petra Nemcova and Keira Knightley exist on earth. It's pretty amazing when Keira Knightley can turn you on more than Lindsay and she's fully lacking in the breast department.
22. Posted by BoredToTears on December 9, 2005 3:33 PM
This chick is the definition of overrated.
23. Posted by andrewthezeppo on January 4, 2006 6:38 PM
Lindsay is awsome, she does what she wants.