Kelly Brook plays with her coconuts in Fiji
Sometimes I wish I was a more clever person so that I could see pictures of a woman playing with coconuts and come up with something more witty than 'Kelly Brook has big boobies!!!' But I'm just a simple man with a simple mind, and when I see the woman who played 'Beautiful Woman in Painting' in Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo in a bikini grabbing coconuts, my mind goes straight to the twelve hours of lesbian porn I had watched the night before. And by 'lesbian porn' I mean some other thing that's not degrading to woman and makes me look like a pervert. Like a presidential debate or something. National Geographic?

Reader Comments
1. assholic - December 2, 2005 4:44 PM
nothin to say really, just for the sake of havin my first ever first poster, so there.
2. Binky - December 2, 2005 4:53 PM
CocoNuts !!! Thank God they're coconuts ! From the thumbnails - I thought she might have had a wave-induced 'chest accident' and had to ship her airbags back to Dow Corning.
3. Mary45 - December 2, 2005 5:14 PM
Who's the guy in the "here to eternity" wannabe shot and why does her bikini bottom look like a diaper?
4. ElFurbe - December 2, 2005 5:17 PM
What's with that last picture? Hottie with coconuts, hottie in water, hottie stretching her lithe body, AAAHHH! Mr. Clean feeling up hottie! My fantasy, shattered!
5. dirk_digglesworth - December 2, 2005 5:30 PM
dood, it's billy zane you dummie.
6. Juliette - December 2, 2005 5:52 PM
All I can think of is what an ugly bathing suit.
pretty girl, ugly suit.
7. apotheosis - December 2, 2005 5:54 PM
Personally, I'd feel far less nauseated if it was actually Mr. Clean. The offspring of Kelly Brook and Mr. Clean would be a bathroom-cleaning valkyrie with breasts the size of a large bald man's head and a fresh clean pine scent.
Kelly Brook and Billy Zane's kid might also have large breasts. But large breasts aren't nearly as attractive on a bald guy with no discernable acting ability.
8. Zanathon - December 2, 2005 6:10 PM
Is that a wedding band on the ring finger of Billy Zane in the last photo?
If it is, then I can SO use this to bust up their relationship in order to move in on Kelly, while she is still fresh from being on the rebound.
I'd then give her the BEST twenty-five seconds of our lives!
9. Bishop - December 2, 2005 6:10 PM
I agree: both swimsuits suck. The one-piece looks like it's got a really big little-sister problem and is trying anything to be flashy and high-cut (ergo sexy) but failing miserably because it's still a bad one-piece thing. the one with Zane in the shot DOES look a bit diaperish or BlueLagoonEsque.
And pic #5? LaraFlynnBoyle wants her stegasaurus title back.
10. ElFurbe - December 2, 2005 6:13 PM
Wow, that is Billy Zane! I rescind my comment. I'm a Billy Zane fan. I listen to my friend Billy Zane, he's a cool dude!
Since I can't have Kelly Brook, you know, ever, I'm glad it's Billy Zane and not some prat boy-band member or something.
11. Mary45 - December 2, 2005 6:22 PM
Silly me...all those freshly shorn heads make the dudes look the same!!
12. hafaball - December 2, 2005 6:49 PM
coconut boobies? :o
13. derekd - December 2, 2005 6:59 PM
Whats up with the grandma 80's one piece?!! Check out that monkey in the bend over pic. Thats a fat monkey! I wanna spank it. BAD MONKEY! BAD MONKEY!
14. derekd - December 2, 2005 7:02 PM
And Billy Zane. Talk about "Hair today, gone tomorrow." HA! I made a funny! Me so Funny. Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck, nyuck!
15. valleyg - December 2, 2005 7:20 PM
so...am I lame that I have no idea who this broad is? I do like the retro, austin powers-esque bathing suit though.
16. Flush it all away - December 2, 2005 7:31 PM
I've always thought Billy Zane was badass. How could you watch Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight and not think the guy was cool?
Well, although his movie career kinda fizzled, I'm glad it all worked out for him in the end--he nabbed Kelly Brook! You go, The Phantom!
17. mrschickee - December 2, 2005 8:32 PM
Um....who the hell is Kelly Brook? And why is she important? Just wondering.
18. hotnikkels - December 2, 2005 10:32 PM
Kelly Brook is important because she is only the hottest girl ever...and probably the least talented. I still love her though.
19. assholic - December 3, 2005 12:10 AM
"Is that a wedding band on the ring finger of Billy Zane in the last photo?
If it is, then I can SO use this to bust up their relationship in order to move in on Kelly, while she is still fresh from being on the rebound."
he's engaged to kelly, haven't you thought that, you idiot sick fantisizer? besides tht, if thy were not together, kelly would have been with me instead. in fact am plannin to break dem up after this hot though in hideous looking swimsuits....
20. Bill Clinton - December 3, 2005 1:08 AM
http://www.thesuperficial.com/image.php?path=/archives/kelly_brook_fiji_5.jpg
I must admit ^that^ is how I see all women.
21. giblet - December 3, 2005 1:51 AM
These shots of Kelly--they're a little sad. Playing in the sand. Laughing in the sun. Making out with Billy. Yet, all the while she must be crying inside because she doesn't have any true friends; solid confidants who would ask "Kelly, was there a mirror in the dressing room?"
Then again, judging from her expression in the first shot, she's probably not as cognizant as I'd hoped. The internal 8-track is most likely stuck on "Sunny! Sand! Laugh! Round things! Sunny!"
22. Jenny - December 3, 2005 3:49 PM
Watching lesbian porn is okay. Watching Deuce Bigalow on the other hand.....
23. Suite4 - December 3, 2005 9:36 PM
FYI Kelly Brook is a British model. I'm no expert, but aren't her thighs a bit chunky for a model? Plus she's trying to hard to be sexy. She's like a sex bomb in UK. But then again... they eat lamb with mint sauce in UK.
24. kmb187 - December 4, 2005 11:19 AM
Her thighs are a little large... and I would hope someone involved in the fashion industry would know how to choose a more flattering bathing suit. The Pucci print isn't hiding the fact that the horribly high-cut legs make her hips, thighs, and backside look horrendous.
25. kittiesyay - December 4, 2005 4:26 PM
her thighs are large? lmao. are you stupid? she has a perfect body, she is so hot. oh, wait, i forgot, guys like to beat off to girls like calista flockhart. silly me.
26. Roxie - December 4, 2005 6:05 PM
Hey if you wanna see a really hot chick, go to http://www.kisskissandallthat.blogspot.com. Oh wait that's not a chick, that's DENNIS RODMAN crossdressing again.
27. Laur - December 4, 2005 7:03 PM
Oooh... nice tush. ;)
Not the best choice of a bathing suit, though.
28. Kiren - December 4, 2005 10:07 PM
there are more pics of here on the beach with Billy Zane here
http://www.gossiprocks.com/forum/showthread.php?t=5913
she's nude in some of them :P
29. the salami from killarney - December 5, 2005 12:06 AM
The coconut has always been my favourite, um, nut?
Kelly Brook is pretty hot too. Except for Billy Zane. She should just smash him with her coconuts.
30. kmb187 - December 5, 2005 12:20 AM
kitties--I was replying to the poster before me, who mentioned that her thighs are a little chunky for a model. She definitely has a good body, but in all honesty not a typical model body. Well, not by US standards, anyhow. And I am a girl, so that whole Calista Flockhart thing was pretty much wasted. No need to be so snippy.
31. Liz - December 5, 2005 3:50 AM
Kelly Brook was a TV presenter (The Big Breakfast) but she got the sack because she was, quite frankly, crap at it. I'm very fond of her, though, and insanely jealous of her body. That's what a woman ought to look like, not the bags of bones parading down the catwalk we've gotten used to over the last decade.
32. HollyJ - December 5, 2005 12:57 PM
I can't believe that a picture of a virtually unknown zombie-eyed chick manipulating dual coconuts has inspired more than 30 posts. Of course, as I say that, I'm posting #32. =(
33. Dtbb - December 5, 2005 1:11 PM
^ I can believe that the pictures inspired many readers to manipulate themselves more than 30 times...there goes #33.
34. fax - December 5, 2005 2:10 PM
these pics are lame. these ones are better:
http://www.yeeeah.com/weblog/2005/11/kelly_brook_top.html
35. HollyJ - December 5, 2005 8:58 PM
#35... ACK! ...I ....just......can't.......stop.....adding...more.... ::grimace::
Someone call a 12-step program. I need a superficial intervention.
36. bigponie - October 20, 2006 1:57 PM
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37. bigponie - October 20, 2006 2:02 PM
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38. bigponie - October 20, 2006 2:04 PM
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39. bigponie - October 20, 2006 2:05 PM
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