December 30, 2005
Kirsten Dunst scratches her ass
I guess I wouldn't be doing my job if i didn't post these pictures of Kirsten Dunst scratching her ass at the Chateau Marmont. You'll forgive me though, since it took half an hour for the vomiting alone to stop. And then there was trying to type with my eyes closed and the occasional break to pause and stab myself in the face with a fork. Sometimes my job is easy, but today is not one of those days. Blindness is a heavy price to pay for entertainment, but for you guys I'll gladly oblige. Honestly though, she's not looking that bad to me anymore. Maybe my hatred has subsided or she's blossomed out of her ugly troll phase, but whatever is going on I just can't muster up the energy to hate her as much as I used to.
Or maybe I just secretly love it when women scratch their asses in public. More of Kirsten after the jump.
Naomi Campbell is not artificial
Naomi Campbell denies ever undergoing cosmetic surgery, insisting sobriety, exercise and her Ethiopian heritage are responsible for her good looks. I'm assuming she also denies being a man, though to my knowledge no one has ever asked the question, for fear of getting a fork in the nuts.
Naomi says, "I just take care of my body. I don't drink alcohol and I work out for two hours a day. I don't see myself as gorgeous and I'm fed up with people saying I've had plastic surgery and lipo. I don't need it because black don't crack. My grandmother has fantastic genes and only has about one wrinkle."
I really like the expression "black don't crack". It's a small deviation from her usual quote: "I'm black and I do crack" or "crack is wack, let's go back to the shack and do some smack." The fact is she can say whatever the hell she wants, because she's rich and terrifying, kinda like a werewolf winning the lottery. Just stay the hell away.
Campbell Denies Surgery [Contact Music]
Jennifer Aniston has a bad day
I can't confirm it, but these pictures were allegedly shot about a week ago the day Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were on the front page of The Sun. It makes sense and all, but I'm really more interested in that lady in the background. When Jennifer Aniston is having as bad a day as it looks like she's having, it seems like laughing behind her back would be cause for homicide. You don't mess with a woman on the verge of psychosis, lady. It's just not done. I bet a few moments after the picture was shot, Jennifer Aniston turned around and drop kicked her through a wall.
More pictures of Jennifer Aniston's bad day after the jump.
Sienna has few regrets
Someone asked Sienna Miller what lessons she'd learned over the past year. Surprisingly she didn't say "when I ask Jude if he's cheated on me, and he says no, and yet he's lying in a pile of lipstick, naked women, and condom wrappers, I probably shouldn't believe him." What she did say that the biggest lesson she's learned this year is "hold your cards close to your vest."
"I've got a huge mouth, especially when it comes to my business," the actress told Life magazine. "But I've realized that if you start talking about things, you open up a floodgate." Miller's on-again, off-again relationship with Jude Law may be on again after reports in recent weeks suggested the couple were back together. "I find it odd that people ask me things like, 'Why did you take (Jude Law) back?' I don't regret anything," she says.
Well it's good that she doesn't regret anything. You'd think she might regret hiring the nanny that was banging Jude on a regular basis. Because, in retrospect, that probably wasn't a good move.
Kanye West knows karate
Kanye West claimed that, during his time in China as a child, he often put on impromptu martial arts displays in the street for extra money.
"When I was little," he said, "my mom took a job over in China, and I used to do karate demonstrations for pennies. To be honest it was pretty entertaining for me, and I used to spend what I earned on ice-cream. My mother was like, 'How can you ask for money from these poor Chinese people?' I guess I was a hustler in fifth grade, entertaining people."
Few things are as entertaining as the idea of a bunch of chinese people throwing money at Kanye doing his best Bruce Lee imitation. Unless, instead of imitating Bruce Lee, he was imitating Carmen Miranda. And, instead of the performing on a street in China, he was performing in Bob's House of Transvestites in San Francisco. And, instead of throwing money, the audience was throwing butt plugs. Now that would be worthy of a Grammy.
Alicia Keys visits Barbados
I'm sure there are one or two people out there who actually find Alicia Keys attractive, despite having the physique of a sailor and the chest hair of a man. I'm not one of those people, but who am I to judge? If you can look at these pictures of Alicia Keys jogging in Barbados and think to yourself, "I'd like me a piece of that sasquatch!" then all the power to you. That's why we live in America, damnit. So that every sick pervert can express his love for sasquatch in peace.
NOTE: The sasquatchism is actually only apparent from the back. From the front, she can almost pass as an ordinary woman who doesn't look like she's training to be an Olympic weight lifter.
More after the jump.
Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez wedding video thieves arrested
Two idiots have been arrested for trying to sell Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez's stolen wedding video back to them for $1 million.
The men tried to ransom the video after first shopping it around unsuccessfully to media outlets including People, Us Weekly and "Access Hollywood," according to a criminal complaint filed against them.
Tito Moses, 31, and Steven Wortman, 49, were arraigned late Wednesday in Manhattan Criminal Court on charges of conspiracy, attempted grand larceny and possession of stolen property.
A copy of the celebrity couple's wedding video was in a laptop computer that was in Anthony's car when it was stolen in Linden, N.J., last October. The car was later recovered but the laptop was gone.
The mistake the two men made (besides being born with an IQ under 20) was trying to sell a wedding video half a year after the fact. Unless there was naked sex involved, the two men had a better chance of killing a ninja than they did of getting the video sold to a publisher. And believe you me, ninjas do not go down without some serious goddamned fighting.
Lindsay Lohan gets no justice
Prosescuters announced yesterday that the photographer accused of ramming his vehicle into Linday Lohan's car will not be charged.
The Los Angeles County District Attorney's office said it lacked sufficient evidence to prosecute Galo Cesar Ramirez on assault or stalking charges in a case that spurred calls for a crackdown on aggressive paparazzi.
The May 31 crash was one of several such incidents that led California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger to sign into law stiffer civil penalties for paparazzi and their agencies when they commit assault in their pursuit of stars.
Based on damage to the vehicles, "it appears that, although the suspect was most likely driving carelessly when he collided with the victim's car, it was not an intentional assault," Hodgman wrote in his report.
I'd feel more sorry for Lindsay Lohan if she didn't have a terrible history of crashing her car and blaming the paparazzi. She's like that boy who cried wolf, except instead of pretending there's a wolf she just drives her car into other people's property and refuses to take responsibility for it. And then maybe throws back a shot of vodka and starts yelling about how I broke into her home and stole a pair of her panties. Which I totally didn't, because that would make me a pervert. And I'm not a pervert. You are.
No charges filed in Lohan, paparazzi crash in L.A. [Reuters]
Tori Spelling has a classy fiance
For all the naysayers out there who thought Tori Spelling's new fiance was a tasteless oaf, here's irrefutable proof that he is, indeed, Prince Charming. Because is there really any more romantic way to express love than by shoving your hand down your girlfriend's pants and grabbing their ass? It almost makes me shed a tear, it's so sweet.
December 29, 2005
Eva Longoria gets revenge
Eva Longoria is planning to file charges against the Texas traffic cop who cited her and boyfriend Tony Parker on Christmas Eve, claiming the police officer acted badly when he pulled her and Parker over for impeding traffic in her home state. The cop is currently under investigation for misconduct and apparently left Longoria outraged when he accused her of making derogatory racial comments about him.
I don't know what really went down that day, but I prefer to believe the cop's story, since it involves Eva Longoria being a racist and Tony Parker almost running over a pedestrian. And the only thing I'd believe more than that is if Eva and Tony put on masks, got out of the car, and started stabbing old people in the belly. So if the cop wants to change his story to that, I'm right on board.
Britney Spears wants another kid
There are things the world needs more of - love, peace, masturbating penguins. One thing certainly not in that list is another Spears-Federline child. According to In Touch Weekly, however, Britney Spears is eager to give son Sean Preston a sibling — “the sooner the better.”
“Britney was advised to wait at least three months after her baby’s birth before trying to get pregnant again,” a friend said. “Now that that’s passed, she wants to try right away.” Spears is hoping for a girl this time around, and thinks another baby will help smooth out her relationship with Kevin Federline. “She is hoping another baby will strengthen her marriage to Kevin,” another friend said.
Ah yes, nothing like having another child in a desperate attempt to patch up a doomed relationship. That always works well. Another great idea would be for Britney to have sex with other men, take pictures, and post them on kevinlicksballs.com. Or she could wait until Kevin's asleep, cut off his testicles, and post pictures of them on kevinhasnoballs.com. He might not be happy about it, but he sure as hell wouldn't be tempted to cheat on her. Maybe.
Thanks to Treena for the tip.
Pussycat Dolls are an inspiration
The Pussycat Dolls claim they are an "inspiration" to women, despite their overtly sexy image. They say their look is "sassy but classy" and admit they are desperate to be taken seriously. The group now says they aim to give girls confidence.
"We like to say that there's a Pussycat Doll inside every girl. I think we're just out there inspiring all these young girls, older girls, grandmas, to find that confidence and that Pussycat Doll within them."
I have no idea what the Pussycat Dolls are about. I thought they were strippers. But strippers only dress like strippers when they're, you know, stripping. Whereas the Pussycat Dolls are constantly dressed like whores. So maybe they're whores. But hey, if they're inspiring young girls to run around dressed like man-pleasing sluts, I fully approve. Unless the girls are fat. Cause that's why God created burqas.
Kevin Federline to release new song
Are you spending this New Years alone? Couldn't find a date? Well no worries, because now you can ring in the New Year with Kevin Federline. While, amazingly, he couldn't find a label to release his rap single PopoZao, he's now distributing it on his own. The song will be released on New Year's Eve, according to a mass e-mail sent from his myspace.com page.
It says: "I love you all. The ones that Love and the ones that Hate. The ones that Fight and those who Bite." The single will be available on his Web site, kevinfederline.com, which promises, "I am coming."
From what I understand, it would be technically "illegal" for me to murder Federline before he releases this song. But I doubt any jury would convict me once they hear it. I haven't heard it yet, but imagine it will be some combination of 1) drums, 2) Dr. Seuss lyrics, 3) pepper-sprayed monkeys, and 4) an old man peeing into a coffee can. Verdict = not guilty.
Dubious Debut [Page Six]
Kelly Brook and Billy Zane will have a crazy wedding
According to Kelly Brook, she and Billy Zane are going to have a traditional Greek wedding sometime in the next year, saying: "We still haven't set a firm date but the ceremony is almost certainly going to be in Greece now. Billy's mum is Greek, he lived out there for four years and speaks the language fluently. I've never been to a Greek wedding but I've seen videos and they look amazing - so lively. We'll have a really traditional ceremony with both our families around us - hopefully in 2006. We're thinking of Scotland as a honeymoon destination."
If I've learned anything from My Big Fat Greek Wedding, it's that Greek weddings are chaotic events, with old men spraying Windex on you and Joey Fatone speaking in a high-pitched Mike Tyson voice. I don't remember where I was going with this, but picturing Joey Fatone getting sprayed in the eyes with Windex is cracking me up. Because I bet he'd be all, "It burns! It burns!" And then he'd go blind and maybe die and we'd never have to hear his name ever again. And that's pretty damn funny.
Tara Reid still has big boobs
The folks in the JJB Forums have posted some recent bikini pictures of Tara Reid in Miami. There's nothing especially interesting about them, but if you're into big breasts and rolls of stomach fat then you're in for a treat. Because, uh, Tara Reid has big breasts and rolls of stomach fat. And also a very capable brain I'm sure.
[Image: Goff Photos via JJB]
Oprah is surrounded by liars
So it turns out that Oprah's plane was grounded because of natural wear and tear on the windshield and not because a bird hit it.
“There was no bird involved, but the pilot did tell my captain that he felt it was a fatigue thing with the glass,” Battalion Chief John Ahlman, a Santa Barbara City Fire Department spokesman, said Tuesday.
And the fact that I've made two posts about Oprah's plane this week should be proof enough that I have way too much time on my hands. Maybe instead of reading about how Oprah is so rich that she could buy my family and enslave them, I'll do something more valuable with my time. Like farting on people I don't like.
Jessica Simpson bought an expensive house
Less than two weeks after filing for divorce, Jessica Simpson has bought and moved into a $3 million Beverly Hills home.
"She's happy to have a house that's hers," someone close to the pop star tells PEOPLE. "This is the first time she's making her own decisions." Among them: keeping the divorce proceedings as quiet as possible by requesting the case be assigned to a private judge and not aired in open court.
Some details are known, however. Simpson asked that she not pay alimony to her soon-to-be ex-husband, Nick Lachey – though it’s not clear that Lachey ever wanted it.
Says a source close to him: "There is no squabble, and we are hoping for a quick and private procedure." Which may be why Simpson did not oppose a judge helping settle issues such as distribution of property, according to the divorce papers.
These must be hard times for Nick Lachey. Not only has he lost the hottest girl he'll ever get, but he has to see her move into a $3 million home while he's emptying his piggy bank so that he can afford a couple weeks at the local Motel 6. At least he used to be in 98 Degrees. That's something to be proud of, right?
Jessica & Nick Move On [People]
December 28, 2005
Paris Hilton has an itchy crotch
A number of people have forwarded in an image of Paris Hilton scratching her crotch at the beach, with her hand fully down her bottom and possibly inside her vagina. I don't know how old the picture is, but that's really not going to get in the way of me sharing it with everybody. Because if there's one thing I live for, it's showing the world just how classy a woman Paris Hilton is. And by "classy" I mean "not classy." And by "woman" I mean "walking STD."
Full LSFW image after the jump.
Amanda Bynes doesn't care
Paris Hilton gets served
Brian Quintana, a friend of Hilton boy-toy Stavros Niarchos, has served Paris with a "cease and desist" letter, claiming that her incessant trash-talking of him around Hollywood is "ruining his reputation and interfering with his business relationships."
It goes on to say "We would expect Ms. Hilton to understand the danger of making false statements against others." Quintana's claims the feud with Hilton intensified during an American Music Awards after-party where, he says, "Ms. Nightlife herself ordered security at Club Privilege to remove all of Niarchos' pals from the club."
This guy's worried about his reputation? If your claim to fame is being the friend of some guy who banged Paris Hilton, the only thing you should worry about is sitting beside him in the hot tub. I don't see what the problem is anyway. This is Paris Hilton. Unless she's talking about 1) the miracle of Christmas herpes, 2) her 500 favorite places to have sex (#1 - "in the butt"), nobody's gonna believe her.
Stop trashing me, Paris told [Page Six]
Kevin Federline's website is real
I didn't post about it before because I thought it was a joke, but looks like Kevin Federline's official website and MySpace are totally legit. Which is sad, because you wouldn't think it was possible for somebody to be so incredibly self-obsessed as to think they have achievements or that anybody cares about them just because they're married to a celebrity.
I don't think we've ever been formally introduced. My name is Kevin Federline. I'm 6 feet tall, have brown hair and brown eyes. I enjoy horseback riding, long walks on the beach and the wind whipping through my hair. Ha ha ha. On a more serious note, there's going to be a lot more information and updates on here in the coming weeks and I think this will provide you with the opportunity to get to know who I really am. Anyway, thanks for checking out my site and be sure to come back often.
I'm pretty sure if I shot him in the face the police would let me go with a warning. Either that or some sort of medal for heroism.
Brad Pitt photographed nude, now sue crazy
Brad Pitt's lawyer has issued a letter threatening legal action against anybody that publishes recent shots of him on the balcony of his Los Angeles home, leading some to believe that he was caught in the nude.
BRAD Pitt just might be the latest celebrity caught with his pants down. Pitt's lawyer, John Lavely, has sent around a letter saying that pictures of the star were taken while he was on the balcony of his Los Angeles home. The letter threatened legal action against anyone who publishes the shots. We can only imagine what Pitt was wearing - or not wearing - to warrant legal action.
Naked pictures of Brad Pitt may have been appealing five years ago when he was hot, but his rapid descent into hairy wrinkly-leather-skin man has squashed any desires that may have been there. I'm not saying that he's old, I'm just saying that if he was grape juice, he'd be really old grape juice. Or wine or something. Whatever, I'm not very good with the analogies. I am, however, very good with the sex with supermodels.
Brad in buff? [Page Six]
Tori Spelling is engaged
Tori Spelling got engaged to Dean McDermott over the weekend, only months after separating from her first husband in September.
"We're so incredibly happy and in love. We cannot wait to start our lives together," the couple said in a joint statement to People.
Per accounts in Us Weekly and People, McDermott, 39, popped the question Christmas Eve while the couple were in Toronto with his family. The proposal came during an evening horse-drawn carriage ride and was sealed with a diamond and sapphire ring.
There was no immediate word on a wedding date, but both Spelling, 32, and McDermott have to finalize their respective divorces before they can swap vows.
Now all that's left is to determine who still cares about Tori Spelling. We can round them all up in a spaceship and shoot them into the sun. It might not be the most humane thing to do, but sacrifices have to be made for the greater good here. And by greater good, I mean the global IQ of the world.
Round Two for Tori [E! Online]
Oprah Winfrey is a bird murderer
Oprah's private jet was forced to land yesterday when a bird hit the windshield and cracked it.
Winfrey and her boyfriend, Stedman Graham, were not hurt in the incident, which occurred around 12:30 p.m. Monday just after the GulfStream jet had taken off from Santa Barbara Municipal Airport, said Santa Barbara Fire Department spokesman John Ahlman.
“This is not a totally unusual thing,” Ahlman said of the cracked windshield. “We see these things pretty frequently.”
Now before you go feeling sorry for Oprah and her cracked windshield, keep in mind that she's traveling in a private jet here. I ran over a homeless man in my Toyota Camry the other day and you don't see any news reports about that. Well actually you do, but that's only because I'm wanted by the police in four states now.
December 27, 2005
Ricky Martin is so straight you'll turn gay
Not convinced that Ricky Martin is the straightest possible man in the entire world? Then these images of him working out on the beach in a speedo with another man in a speedo should convince you. Because if there's one thing straight people enjoy more than peeing on people in the shower, it's being half naked on the beach with other guys doing calisthenics.
More awesome pictures of Ricky Martin being straight after the jump.
UPDATE: Some commenters have pointed out that the other man in the pictures is Ricky Martin's brother. Too late, man. Things have already been said that can't be unsaid. And those things are: homosexual incest.
Continue Reading "Ricky Martin is so straight you'll turn gay"
Rachael Ray is sneaky and a liar
If you're as into Rachael Ray as I am, Page Six has an interesting little story about how "she was a deadbeat who had to leave Pace University because she squandered her tuition money."
Ray dropped out of college and returned to her family in the Adirondacks, in the process leaving behind angry creditors, some of whom “were threatening her,” a family insider told PAGE SIX.
“Her mom gave her money for tuition, but she never paid,” the source said. “She spent the money and then she didn’t want her mom to find out, so she borrowed money to pay her tuition, and then she couldn’t pay it back. She was bouncing checks, and some people were threatening her.”
Sure, why not. Instead of the lovable personality we see on TV everyday laughing away while she spends $40 a day, I prefer to picture a shady little grifter, spending money and making enemies as she travels the United States swindling people. And then at the end of the movie there's a showdown between her and the angry creditors she's pissed off, and she's forced to pull one last hairball scheme to trick them all and save the town forever. Shit, what the hell am I talking about?
RACHAEL WAS STARVED FOR CASH [Page Six]
SIGHTINGS: LC and Jason get drunk and stupid
I don't really consider the cast of Laguna Beach to be celebrities, but since none of you are sending in any sightings of real celebrities, I'm forced to work with what I've got.
ok...so a few days ago, LC and Jason from the popular TV show Laguna Beach were at Love Night Club in Washington DC. While there showing the world how stupid and intoxicated they could be, Jason took his shirt off as if he was going to fight one of the local "gang bangers" that often roam throughout the DC area. While Jason picked up fake trees and swatted them at people, LC looked as if she had had enough of his nonsense. Much of the time they were kissing and grabbing each others asses and looked as if they were together. Other then the time Jason went off and started talking to a bimbo hooker in the VIP by themselves.
Thanks to Daniel for the tip. And for reminding me why I hate everything about everyone that has to do with Laguna Beach.
Nick Lachey is not a total whore
Despite what happened to his marriage with Jessica Simpson, Nick Lachey is apparently still into the big breasted blondes.
"Hey Nick, I'm just the opposite of Jessica. I'm tall and flat-chested and brunette. How about it?!"
So said a slightly intoxicated young lady to not-so-suddenly-single Nick Lachey of Jessica Simpson fame. Mr. Lachey was visiting friends in San Fernando Valley, Calif., when the woman, besotted by the sight of Nick poking a log in an outdoor fire pit, crept up behind him, allowed herself an indiscreet caress of his perky derriere and made her announcement.
Nick, who either doesn't care for the "opposite of Jessica" or doesn't care to stray indiscriminately as his cash-laden divorce proceeds, declined and left the party.
Although I don't see how anybody could resist such a spectacular pick up line as, "I'm tall and flat-chested and brunette." It must have taken Nick all the will power in the world to not have stripped her naked right there and started making sweet sweet love to her. If that woman wants to guarantee she gets the guy next time, she should just go with the even more effective, "I'm fat and ugly and I like to collect human hair."
For Nick Lachey, opposite doesn't attract at Calif. party [Baltimore Sun]
December 26, 2005
Lucy Liu seduced by George Clooney
If George Clooney really wants babies, it looks like he might be trying to secure the womb of former flame Lucy Liu. The two made like horny high schoolers at the prom, hopped into a limo and proceeded to do things I haven't done since the Clinton administration. Apparently, Lucy hasn't gotten any in a while either.
The "Syriana" star and Liu left Downtown Cipriani the other night and began lip-locking in his waiting limo. "She looked like she was going to devour him," a witness said of the 37-year-old starlet.
If I were to be devoured by a celebrity, I would like it to be Lucy Liu. But only after she washes Clooney's sperm out of her mouth. Then I hope she gets sick and vomits pieces of me all over George during the next make out fest. That would surely turn him back to being gay, and bring an end to this madness.
BACK TO GEORGE [Page Six]
Eva and Tony flip out during traffic stop
Eva and her baller boyfriend Tony Parker were cited by a police officer in San Antonio on Christmas Eve because the two were stopped on the road, impeding traffic. I can only assume the cop rolled up on the tail end of an x-rated public display of affection involving a drunken Eva and a snorkel. What else would explain this response?
The incident happened about 12:45 a.m. Saturday. After seeing a car stopped, a bicycle officer said it was impeding traffic. When the car didn't move, the officer rapped the hood with the palm of his hand, according to a police report.
Parker, who was behind the wheel, questioned why the officer touched the car, and the couple "began screaming in a verbally abusive and demeaning manner," police said. Longoria called the police report "highly inaccurate."
Police say Parker then began to drive away, almost hitting a man standing nearby. After being told to stop and get out, Parker showed a French driver's licence, police said.
The officer who wrote the citations said Parker complained: "This is all the cops do, just mess with people," and that Longoria shouted from the car: "He's just a Mexican bike cop. He only wants your autograph."
Eva denies it all, just like she denies sending me soiled panties in the mail every other Wednesday. I'm just wondering why she didn't invite the cop to join in on their escapade, being a whore and all.
Desperate Housewife accused of uttering slur [The Star]
Jenifer Love Hewitt is kind to poor people
In case you didn't already know that Jennifer Love Hewitt is a better human being than you, last Friday she hosted her second annual Los Angeles Mission party which fed over 3000 homeless people. It's always a nice little bonus when you find out a woman has a big heart under her big breasts. Kind of like how Pamela Anderson really loves animals and Anna Nicole Smith really loves dying old rich men. And drugs. And being a complete and utter waste of human life.
December 25, 2005
50 Cent is a cheap creep
After getting sloshed on egg nog, being shunned by relatives and passing out under the plastic tree, I woke up this morning feeling empty inside. It's not because the baby Jesus has forsaken me, but because I never received a Christmas card from 50 Cent. And by the looks of it, no one else did either.
The rapper refuses to celebrate Christmas the conventional way by seniding cards to friends, and relatives, and argues that those close to him should know his feelings for them.
That, or $500,000 earned entertaining teens at a bat mitzvah doesn't buy what it used to. Or maybe he converted to Judaism after the show, and took up the "cheap Jew" stereotype. Or maybe he just doesn't know how to write. That's probably it.
50 Cent doesn't like celebrating X'mas the conventional way! [Web India]
Mischa engaged to dirty hippie, could've had Leo
Despite repeated phone calls to Fox, pigeon couriers and a restraining order, I've failed in my attempt to keep Mischa from getting serious with Weird Al Yankovic's bastard love child. She's going to marry Cisco Adler in February, and now all I can do is sob uncontrollably whilst watching my O.C. DVDs, fantasizing about what could have been. At least I'm not alone. Mischa's publicist Craig Schneider tried to pimp her out to Leonardo DiCaprio, but probably would have had better luck selling condoms to the Hilton sisters.
She claims when she and Craig spotted the 'Titanic' star at a photoshoot, he turned to her and said: 'For the sake of your career, go and sleep with that man.' But the sexy star said she was put off dating DiCaprio because he is ten years older than her, adding: 'Isn't Leo like, 30, or something?'
So instead Mischa goes with a dropout from the K-Fed school of suck. I don't know why I'm worried. If Kimberly Stewart couldn't bring herself to marry this guy, I'm sure Mischa will move on to a new dirtbag in a couple of weeks. And by dirtbag, I mean Nick Lachey. You'll see.
Mischa Barton set to wed in February [Monsters and Critics]
Sexy Holidays Everybody
Hope all you crazy clowns are having some good holiday fun. If I could give each and every one of you a big sexy kiss full of tongue I would. Even the fat ugly ones. Why, you ask? Because it's the season for giving, and when I give out my sexy tongue love I don't discriminate. I'm classy like that. Plus I just really enjoy Frenching people.
