November 21, 2005
Jessica Simpson Is a Tortured Writer
Jessica Simpson has a tough life. It can't be easy watching your marriage fall apart while your husband cavorts with strippers because he's likes talking to 'smart girls'. Well now she's saying that the only way she prevents herself from "exploding" with stress is to write her feelings down.
She says, "It's a way for me to know myself and my problems. If I don't do this, I'll push everything back until I explode."
Now I don't actually have a copy of her journal in my possession (yet), but it probably goes something like this: "Wednesday - got up, brushed my hair. Got brush stuck in hair, ran around house screaming till Nick pulled it out. He called me an ig-no-ra-mus. I looked that word up in the dictshun dicktion spelling book, and it was m-e-a-n. Mean. And I hate his new cologne. It smells like strippers and used condoms - ick! Ow, my hand hurts from all this writeing. C-U-L8TR!!! (ha ha, that means 'see you later', Mister Journal)."
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Comments
1. Posted by kiki on November 21, 2005 11:08 AM
HOW DARE YOU TRY TO TELL ME SHE CAN READ & WRITE!
At this time of morning.
That's just mean to try and make me wrap my head around that concept before noon. ;-(
2. Posted by Eukonidor on November 21, 2005 11:16 AM
There are way too many words spelled correctly for that to be in Jessica's journal. Cologne has some silent letters that I don't think she would understand... :-) Sometimes, I feel so ashamed that I share the same first name with this complete airhead. I sure do wish I had some of her boobs though...
3. Posted by smaddox on November 21, 2005 11:38 AM
I've had boobs like hers many times.. it's overrated
4. Posted by Bill Clinton on November 21, 2005 1:43 PM
mmmm Jessica....Jessica!!!
I've made a mess, anyone have a blue dress I can use. lol, I never get tired of that one. heh heh heh.
5. Posted by Sarcastikus on November 21, 2005 4:25 PM
Jeez! I doubt that Jessica is THAT stupid! If Nick wasn't such as ass he'd help her become more interesting to talk to, if possible. Of course, most men who look at Jessica have no interest in have an intellectual conversation with her.
6. Posted by an44 on November 21, 2005 4:25 PM
her first volume of work was forever lost do the fact she was writing with the wrong side of the pen
7. Posted by Georgia on November 21, 2005 9:14 PM
touche an44- hillarious
8. Posted by tori on November 21, 2005 10:04 PM
an intellectual conversation with jessica effing simpson? impossible.
9. Posted by insider69 on November 22, 2005 6:14 PM
Do you think if her head exploded there would actually be, you know, brain matter? Nah, I didn't think so either.
10. Posted by Vicky on November 23, 2005 1:30 AM
When I was in the third grade, I couldn't spell Wednesday, so I doubt that she can.