September 19, 2005
Tori Spelling is single, fellahs. Come and get 'er!
(Oh, I'm sorry. Did that headline make you throw up in your mouth a little?)
"Actress" Tori Spelling, daughter of billionaire producer Aaron Spelling, and her filthy non-billionaire husband Charlie Shanian have reportedly split after a year of marriage.
From what I understand, it seems pretty clear that every time Spelling's husband looked at her, he saw a giant talking bag of money. So I'm going to go ahead and assume that he's finally become suspicious of how a bag of money could drink so much booze and have given him herpes. Because last I checked, money should buy happiness, not cold sores on your man-junk.
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Comments
1. Posted by Sydney on September 19, 2005 2:12 PM
Well I'm not suprised, who'd stay with her for any amount of money.
Or maybe someone would.
But who am I to judge?
2. Posted by Stacylynnrs on September 19, 2005 2:12 PM
I want my gravy bowl back!!!
3. Posted by Sydney on September 19, 2005 2:12 PM
Ooo. Yay, first comment, how awesome.
4. Posted by Xibalba on September 19, 2005 2:16 PM
*quote*Because last I checked, money should buy happiness, not cold sores on your man-junk.*/quote*
I guess it depends on what you spend your money on... I get cold sores on my mangina all the time... Thanks mom, i want my $50 back!
5. Posted by usuckbananas on September 19, 2005 2:25 PM
What a nasty whore.
6. Posted by Gophergutz on September 19, 2005 2:29 PM
Guess there's not much difference between moneybags and dirtbags when you get right down to it.
7. Posted by Clance-man on September 19, 2005 3:07 PM
If it wasn't for daddy's money and a buttload of plastic surgery, no one would go near her. Personally, I think she was orginally a dude. I wouldn't touch her with your man-junk!
8. Posted by gracieo on September 19, 2005 4:05 PM
maybe k-fed is interested?
9. Posted by goldilocks on September 19, 2005 4:14 PM
Who even is tori spelling? i swear no-one in the UK has heard of her. and by no-one, i mean me.
10. Posted by K-dawg on September 19, 2005 4:27 PM
She is the worst actress we have and what we would call the first Paris Hilton. The only reason she is in movies or anything is because her dad is a producer genius and filthy rich. Tori is just filthy.
11. Posted by WTFweretheythinking? on September 19, 2005 4:31 PM
Thanks, I needed to throw up today.
12. Posted by seminole on September 19, 2005 5:48 PM
well I'm sure there are lots of guys out there looking for a girl with a face like a horse, or a border collie.
13. Posted by sugarplum on September 19, 2005 7:35 PM
It's all well known, when a rich girl has neither good looks nor brains, there's alcohol, the best pal she can get.
14. Posted by sparkydingle on September 19, 2005 7:38 PM
Jesus H. Christ that bitch is ugly. Has anyone told her? Someone find out her number and spring the news on her.
15. Posted by mac2048 on September 19, 2005 8:46 PM
My God. She is an ugly land-beast isn't she?
A year is even too much. The poor fellow deserves a fortune in alimony just for waking up next to that face every morning.
16. Posted by maetl on September 20, 2005 7:23 AM
she is creepy.
creepy like walking down a back alley late at night creepy.
17. Posted by Ms. Dilligaff on September 20, 2005 10:00 AM
Aw, I was really hoping Horseface and some guy could be the one couple to make it work. Between her breakup and Renee's breakup with some other guy, I feel empty inside.
18. Posted by stinkypinky on September 20, 2005 4:49 PM
I just don't understand. If my Dad was as rich as hers I would have had complete reconstructive plastic surgery on my face a long time ago. She looks like a grasshopper.
19. Posted by jfive on September 20, 2005 7:35 PM
why cant she die like the rest of the 90210 cast?lol atleast i assume they all died lol or ended up on the sureal life
20. Posted by Lord Helmet on September 21, 2005 1:24 AM
I'd fuck her and tell her to call me Brandon
21. Posted by Juliette on September 21, 2005 12:35 PM
She has had tons of plastic surgery- there is nothing real about her. I don't know what was worse the before or the after.
22. Posted by debisis on September 22, 2005 12:01 AM
wow. those are some pretty harsh comments. usually posts like these are from jealous assholes or ugly people.
i don't think she's gorgeous, but she looks like a woman and is at least cute. and you're not. author.
23. Posted by debisis on September 22, 2005 12:07 AM
http://www.freehomepages.com/celebzone13/ToriSpelling/tori6.jpg
ya know guys and ugly gals, i can admit that i slam baseball wives out of 99 percent jealousy.
24. Posted by mutterhals on September 23, 2005 4:10 PM
Tori Spelling is ugly as sin, this is true no matter what the poster looks like
25. Posted by Queen LaQueefah on September 26, 2005 4:14 PM
She's funny looking and all that, but dude, what the hell is up with her lumpy boob? U ever notice that shit? It's like her titty is unhooking from her chest