Sep 27 2005The dead like Jennifer Love Hewitt, the living not so much
Jennifer Love Hewitt claims that, after meeting with an exorcist to research her role in soon-to-be-cancelled TV show Ghost Whisperers, she had an encounter with a ghost that liked to ogle her in the shower. Because she has breasts, you see, and she'll be damned if she'll let us forget it, even after we've long forgotten her.
But her most terrifying experience came when she was showering and turned to see a ghostly male figure leering at her naked body.She revealed: "The ghost had a crush on me and liked to see me showering."
I've watched a lot of The X-Files in my day, so that must make me a licensed deadologist or something, and it's my expert opinion that any ghost looming around Jennifer Love Hewitt is the ghost of her dead career. And I'm going to go out on a limb and say that the ghost wasn't ogling her, but merely reflecting on it's own demise, thinking, "If only I had shown off the goods, maybe she wouldn't be starring in the undoubtedly awful The Ghost Whisperers or the sadly inevitable I Still Know What You Did In The Summer Of 1997, And Apparently I Still Have Some Unresolved Issues With It."
Wow. It's eerie how much insight the dead have, isn't it?
Reader Comments
1. Anna Rexic - September 27, 2005 8:23 AM
Come on Jennifer, everyone knows that "ghostly male figure" was just a leering Gwyneth Paltrow.
2. Joe Mamma - September 27, 2005 8:46 AM
Man, why can't I find someone that hot and stupid?! Yeah, the guy watching you take a shower was a ghost, not a peeping tom. And this isn't a penis, it's a popsicle.
3. Horace H. Kempster - September 27, 2005 8:59 AM
Again not very good . "Ghost of her dead career" ?
Yikes.
Stinky writing.
4. Geno - September 27, 2005 10:01 AM
An open letter to Jennifer Love:
Please show them to us. Please. While they are still appealing. We love them! Um I mean you... Please show them to us. It worked for Alyssa Milano, it can work for you!
5. Thundercleese - September 27, 2005 10:22 AM
Hey, I still love Jennifer Love Hewitt! I never gave a crap what anyone did last summer or whatever, but I loved watching her run around in tight shirts and low-cut shirts and wet shirts and stuff. I also enjoyed the first episode of The Ghost Whisperer. It was way more fun to watch than that awful ghost show with that butt-ugly Arquette sister. That show is UNWATCHABLE! And the nice thing about TGW is that if/when the stories aren't any good, you can always look at JLH in her tight shirts and her low-cut shirts and her lingerie. Hey, you gotta respect that she using her "talent" to her best ability and sticking with a proven formula. I don't care for the hair though...
6. MortyFishbein - September 27, 2005 10:35 AM
She was good in "Heartbreakers" with Sigourney Weaver. That's pretty much how I remember her: tight dresses and making sure we all know what she did last summer in Bangkok's Red Light District. :)
7. meggy - September 27, 2005 11:01 AM
Well, obviously JLH's ghost didn't like her as much as Anna Nicole Smith's ghost, because Anna's ghost actually had sex with her, none of this watching her in the shower nonsense. Maybe Jennifer's ghost suffers from erectile dysfunction?
8. Juliette - September 27, 2005 11:18 AM
What a moron
9. Diana - September 27, 2005 11:24 AM
Sounds like she has lost it.
10. DevastatorX - September 27, 2005 11:27 AM
What? "The Tuxedo" wasn't a good flick? And I totally agree that if she didn't act so stuck up and showed her boobs, she wouldn've gotten furthur....
11. Tommy Cruise - September 27, 2005 11:57 AM
Yes, she is a bimbo. And I can't believe she didn't even mention that I, uh, I mean the "ghost" was wearing a white sheet with three holes cut out. Two for the eyes, and one for... well, you know.
12. sharlit159 - September 27, 2005 12:00 PM
Oh, she wishes someone would watch her shower. Hopefully she'll be a ghost soon herself.
13. Ragin_Pope_Angus - September 27, 2005 12:24 PM
It's sad when you realize that her final shot at maintaining a career is showing her rack before gravity sets in.
St. Mae West as soooo much more talented.
14. Dawn7 - September 27, 2005 12:27 PM
Another article with horribly fragmented sentences. I QUIT!!
15. andrewthezeppo - September 27, 2005 2:52 PM
I always liked Jennifer Love Hewitt, I just don't want to see anything that features her "acting"
accept Heartbreakers because that's awesome
16. IvoryFingers - September 27, 2005 3:38 PM
I wish she encountered wet t-shirt ghosts. That's must see TV.
17. sugarplum - September 27, 2005 3:55 PM
I can't stand the ugly bitch.
18. FearLeSphere - September 27, 2005 4:15 PM
JLH is one stupid ho, the only thing preventing her from sinking to the bottom of softcore porn is her two flotation devices which are keeping her "career" on the surface. And the fact that she looks and acts like a skinny rat on helium doesn't help at all.
19. Juliette - September 27, 2005 4:47 PM
Fear- 'Skinny rat on helium' is SO dead on. I read that and then took another look at her picture, and sure enough you were right. hahahaha.
20. elganador2k2 - September 27, 2005 6:03 PM
I guess what the Sports Guy says is right. Women are just jealous. She's hot - deal with it.
21. sugarplum - September 27, 2005 10:51 PM
Skinny rat on helium!
You deserve an award for that my friend.