September 27, 2005
Paris and Paris on the rocks, except not, except maybe
Paris Latsis' father, who has never approved of his son's relationship to Paris Hilton, is saying that the engagement between the two has more or less been called off. I'm going to go ahead and believe him because his knuckle hair is insured for more than my life.
The elder Latsis, who's the mayor of the town of Vouliagmeni in Greece, adds, "Both his mother and I agree that our son is far too young to contemplate marriage and children. Our son agreed with us. There was unanimity on this issue."
In my opinion, She-Paris is simply a victim of circumstance. If only she had met He-Paris thousands of years ago in Ancient Greece, where they appreciated tramps, things would have been different. If I recall, their king of gods mostly just slept around, and their goddess of love was borne from a severed penis, and that was pretty much the basis of their religion. Man, they would have loved She-Paris. What a shame. She could have been like Helen of Troy; she could have been the Face that Launched a Thousand Free Clinics.
Previous Entries
» Gwyneth Paltrow keeps crypts» Nicole Richie goes to Disneyland
» Mischa Barton dates Kimberly Stewart's ex
» Ashton and Demi skip indecent proposal, jump straight into indecent marriage
» Vida Guerra knows how to dress
Comments
1. Posted by jackkerouac on September 27, 2005 8:41 AM
Wow, is it just me or is this site getting boring?
2. Posted by Joe Mamma on September 27, 2005 8:48 AM
Yeah, the old sense of hate and spite is gone. It's like the lite-beer of spite now.
3. Posted by Horace H. Kempster on September 27, 2005 9:02 AM
That was pale. Bland, even.
"the face that launched a thousand free clinics" ?
WTF?
That's like a hacky Jay Leno joke.
For fuck sake.....
4. Posted by Proteon on September 27, 2005 9:59 AM
Who is this woman?
5. Posted by Lord Helmet on September 27, 2005 10:24 AM
I thought the comments were funny
6. Posted by mutterhals on September 27, 2005 10:28 AM
you suck helmet and your mom too
7. Posted by MortyFishbein on September 27, 2005 10:33 AM
This was funny! Allusions to ancient Greece mythology AND the addition of free clinics?! Gold. I did meet Paris here in Baltimore last year. She's cheap. Real cheap. But in a cute way. Scary cute.
8. Posted by Eukonidor on September 27, 2005 10:46 AM
I am simply not amused anymore. I remember when I found this website, and I spent days silently cackling in my cubicle looking through the archives. Remember the post on folding JLo's big underwear in that extra fancy way? Yeah me too. Good times... Not so much anymore. I'm sad.
9. Posted by meggy on September 27, 2005 10:57 AM
Aw, now we're all going to miss out on the Paris in Paris wedding night sex tape!
10. Posted by Tommy Cruise on September 27, 2005 11:53 AM
Man, what lousy reporting! There was no mention of the rest of the "elder Latsis'" statement, which went something like this:
"The elder Latsis apparently has seen the One Night in Paris video, and was able to convince his son he could do much better than Paris Hilton. 'For Christ's sake, son, she can't even give a decent blowjob!', he reportedly said. 'You need to find someone who is great in the sack, like your mother.'
At which point Paris Latsis is said to have vomited."
11. Posted by Ragin_Pope_Angus on September 27, 2005 12:29 PM
You know, they both just look stupid.
Who knew that home lobotomies could work?
12. Posted by CaptainMorgan on September 27, 2005 1:43 PM
gee, if all y'all can do a much better job than this new editor, Give it a shot. Otherwise, quit your bitchin.
13. Posted by shacked on September 27, 2005 2:48 PM
Paris Hilton is Dope.
14. Posted by andrewthezeppo on September 27, 2005 2:56 PM
Good for "the elder Latsis" I'd disinherit my son if he married Paris Hilton and I don't have a son or millions of dollars.
Also, is anybody else waiting for Paris to fall and poke out her eye with that hideous ring?
15. Posted by IvoryFingers on September 27, 2005 3:40 PM
A guy named Paris? Sounds like the wussy from the Iliad.
16. Posted by That Girl on September 27, 2005 3:45 PM
Isn't Man-Paris like 25? He sure is old enough to marry and have childern! Let the poor barstard make his own damn mistakes!
17. Posted by Sarcastikus on September 27, 2005 4:30 PM
So, if they end up marrying and have a kid or two, a boy and a girl, do you think they'd name them Paris and Paris? Or would that just be TOO cute?
18. Posted by izzy on September 27, 2005 5:11 PM
who cares about paris and paris?? they probably barely know each other, paris just wants to get marrie cuz nicole ritchie is getting married... and ps i agree. what happened to the old editor? these jokes are trying to hard... lame.
19. Posted by Starshine on September 27, 2005 6:44 PM
She's only with him for the money
20. Posted by Martin92 on September 27, 2005 8:47 PM
I think Paris wants to marry this guy because they both have the same first name. Paris has the mentality of a 6 year old. AND AMERICA LOVES IT!
21. Posted by sugarplum on September 27, 2005 10:57 PM
Well, it's about time skank realized that no, she doesn't nor can have anything she wants.
22. Posted by OdetoBrit on September 27, 2005 11:24 PM
I completely agree with everyone on the view that these jokes are no longer funny. Thank god for the comments, otherwise there would be no amusement in this cheap celebrity gossip. I used to think this was my one stop need for all that is trashy. Who the hell hired that guy!! let's petition a complaint!
23. Posted by fragile_wild on September 28, 2005 12:40 AM
She's so stupid!! (what else is new?) Why give up a decent looking billionaire for a measly uglier-looking millionaire? She has the potential of inheriting billions,and she's giving it away? Why you ask? Because she has the IQ of a urinal cake! She had the chance to be a respectable business woman with tons more money that she could have made but didn't even finish high school! I think that the reference to her having the IQ of a urinal cake was far too giving... She's about as sharp as the fat redneck's urine that's pissing into the urinal!