Sep 23 2005Angelina Jolie steals people
Despite claiming in adoption papers that the biological mother of Angelina Jolie's newly adopted daughter, Zahara, was dead, Britain's The Sun has reportedly tracked down 18-year-old Mentaweb Dawit, who claims she is Zahara's birth mother. Although she does not object to the adoption, her reappearance may cause some problems for Jolie:
"The adoption could be illegal because the law in Ethiopia says that if the mother is still alive she must give her consent and in this case that may not have happened. The adoptive mother must appear in court to nullify the old papers and re-apply for adoption. The baby's mother must also appear to give her consent."
I'm no legal expert, but doesn't this make Angelina Jolie some sort of serial kidnapper? Yet she hasn't been subjected to the law, and why? Because she's a celebrity, that's why. She steals a person's child and another person's husband, and she gets called a "philanthropist" and a "sexy siren." Meanwhile, I lure a few teenage girls into the shadows and suddenly I'm a "flasher" and a "pimp" and a "diagnosed psychopath."
Equality under the law my ass.
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Reader Comments
1. Proteon - September 23, 2005 8:40 AM
It's good to see the fine journalists at The Sun tacking hard hitting news articles.
Tomb Raider is the best movie ever made.
2. Momo - September 23, 2005 9:16 AM
She just can't be happy getting her own things. I think that W magazine shoot is hilarious with all the aryan children in her ficticous family with her ficticous husband. Seeing how her real family is a bunch of african children and a stolen man.
3. annaleigh - September 23, 2005 9:26 AM
Be careful, you're starting to lose your hilarious voice in these entries. Perhaps it's the fault of the new editor(s)?
4. mutterhals - September 23, 2005 9:56 AM
^^^I concur, the new editor is starting to suck huge horse dildo
5. Lizardqueen - September 23, 2005 9:58 AM
With all the perfectly good unwanted children in the world you'd think Angie could scoop up some of those. If one more person tells me I look like her I think I'll self combust. Is it because I'm a psycho? Or is it the Billy Bob tattoo? I'm quite offended. My lips look nothing like a cow's asshole.
6. brettburns - September 23, 2005 10:03 AM
Lizardqueen- you look like Angelina? Wow, give me your number. I'd love to cheat on my wife with you.
7. Lizardqueen - September 23, 2005 10:04 AM
P.S. Her man jaw rivals that of Jennifer Aniston. No?
8. Proteon - September 23, 2005 10:36 AM
What is attractive about Angelina Jolie? I've seen her movies, I've slept through them, I've napped in the shadow of her lips, but I can't for the life of me see what the fuck is so great about her. She and Charlize Theron could have a yawn-off.
9. bone_daddio - September 23, 2005 10:44 AM
from what i hear she steals the babies, has some of their fine baby fat extracted via lipo and has it injected to keep her lips plump and moist.
10. jon - September 23, 2005 11:01 AM
FOR FUCK SAKE STEAL ME ANGELINA PLEASE
11. mac2048 - September 23, 2005 11:06 AM
Yes, giving the child back to the impoverished, teenage mother, who didn't want her to begin with, is a LOVELY idea.
Just kill the child quickly and painlessly now, if that's what will ultimately happen. Better that than dying slowly of starvation in a poverty-stricken shanty town.
12. Ms. Dilligaff - September 23, 2005 11:10 AM
Hey hey HEY. Now let's not get hasty and start saying beautiful women *shouldn't* get whatever they want, whenever they want and not have to pay. I'd no longer get my free scoops of Ice Cream at Baskin Robbins, and I'd reeeally miss my free oil changes at the Jiffy Lube!
13. grasshopper - September 23, 2005 11:10 AM
she is so hot she can have anything she wants... plus she can kick ass if they dont let her just have it!!!!
14. Diana - September 23, 2005 11:25 AM
I really doubt she stole the baby, it just doesn't make sense considering there are so many babies needing to be adopted.
Proteon- I agree with you, I just don't see the appeal of her, she looks trashy to me.
15. mysticstar - September 23, 2005 11:39 AM
i don't think Angelina is in the wrong. See, why is mother suddenly appearing out of nowhere AFTER angelina adopted her daughter? she wants to cause trouble?-> for money?
we don't know. but i still think angelina is not in the wrong... =)
16. stinkypinky - September 23, 2005 11:39 AM
Well if Zahara was stolen she can always get back at Angelina by stealing Brad when she is older. That will teach Angelina a lesson. KARMA!
17. DallasFish - September 23, 2005 11:51 AM
Angelina Jolie can do whatever she wants, to whomever she wants, whenever and however she wants.
Aside from defacing her incredible body with tattoos, being a mental freak, adopting little monkeys, soul kissing her brother, breaking up marraiges, making Tomb Raider, adopting more monkeys, making Tomb Raider 2, geting off while slicing herself as she's being drilled and wearing a vial of Billy Bob Thorton's blood, she is a sex-ah goddess and makes my pants go crazy.
The only reason I would kick her out of bed is to do it on the floor. Or if she said something mean about bunny rabbits. Shit like that just pisses me off.
18. mac2048 - September 23, 2005 12:01 PM
I just read that the birth mother said (in an interview) that she is happy Angelina adopted her daughter and is giving her a good life. She doesn't want to cause trouble and will not fight for custody.
19. Lizardqueen - September 23, 2005 12:09 PM
mac2048 said:
"Just kill the child quickly and painlessly now, if that's what will ultimately happen. Better that than dying slowly of starvation in a poverty-stricken shanty town."
May I add "Better that than dying slowly of starvation in the gold paved, diamond studded land of Hollywood, ala every anorexic rich douche bag under the sun."
20. Ragin_Pope_Angus - September 23, 2005 12:13 PM
Angelina, please come to Dallas.
I want to be adopted by Tribe Jolie, too.
Momma Angelina would (ahem) nurse me back to health.
I'd never wean off the tap.
21. Joe Mamma - September 23, 2005 12:27 PM
Hell, she can have both my children if I can f*ck her once. It would be the best 90 seconds ever!
22. reigne - September 23, 2005 1:59 PM
Did anyone even notice that at the bottom of the article it says, "Dawit's mum, Almaz Blfnhe told authorities that her daughter had died in childbirth." WTF??? The lady that claims this child is hers isn't even backed up by HER mom.
23. stinkypinky - September 23, 2005 2:21 PM
That is weird. I don't know what a rape and illegitimate child does for a girls reputation in Ethiopia but possibly she did it to protect the girls future chances of getting married and having a "normal" life. There might just be a few men in Ethiopia that aren't up on all the Hollywood gossip. Maybe then somebody waved some cash in front of Metwab's face for the story and she resurrected herself.
24. mac2048 - September 23, 2005 2:39 PM
To Lizardqueen:
Nah, I'd still rather die rich and spoiled among the Paris Hilton's of the world than among the conditions in prensent day Africa.
25. *le-le79* - September 23, 2005 2:57 PM
how could any human, man or woman, not be attracted to Angelina??!!!
26. Roxy - September 23, 2005 3:03 PM
easy *le-le79*.... we have taste! go figure!
27. *le-le79* - September 23, 2005 3:34 PM
taste? i have taste, just a different taste from yours apparently
28. Sam - September 23, 2005 3:47 PM
she is hot
29. ImRichBitch! - September 23, 2005 3:52 PM
She probabably looks better than most ppl who have posted.
30. Juliette - September 23, 2005 3:52 PM
I'm sick of hearing about her. Until her and Brad start talking about their sex life, I'm tuned out.
31. hismuse - September 23, 2005 4:00 PM
I'm pretty sure she had no idea the adoption was illegal if in fact that is true.
I'm also pretty sure she didn't steal any husbands...just because she fell in love with a guy who was still married does NOT mean the marriage wasn't already over.
Read Here
32. eatme - September 23, 2005 4:45 PM
have you ever heard of SARCASM ??- take 10 valiums and calm down
she is hot but a skank - ummmmm yummy hot skanks
33. Grey - September 23, 2005 4:50 PM
im a woman and i think angelina is hottttttttt.. id totally do her!!! i dont care who or what she steals!! and something is different with the articles, theyre definately not as funny as they once were. so sad.
34. heifferzzz - September 24, 2005 12:15 AM
discovered this site recently and love it, love it, love it!!! dayum, i've been missing out all this time, whoever writes this shit is HILARIOUS!!!hehe!! ok, i can't get over how funny=good this site is!!
35. Excuse me? - September 24, 2005 1:26 AM
She is is so disgusting !
How can she adopt children with all her mental issues? I bet cause she is rich and that is the only reason !
She belongs in a Mental Asylum
36. anth0nyc - September 24, 2005 1:40 AM
i forgot what you wrote.. that picture is a major distraction :~)
37. Lizardqueen - September 24, 2005 7:31 AM
To mac2048: I thought we were gonna kill the baby anyway. That being preferable to turning into Nicole Richey. Duh. Hollywood or the dark continent? I'm going drunken whore on stilettos all the way.
38. dizzydallas - September 25, 2005 5:53 AM
Dallasfish too much thats the T izzy...and Lizardlips...whatever...anyone that has lizard in their name can NOT look like angelina...no lips im sure you dont have.... She is a hot bitch so get off on a Duff or sumthin...whaa
39. Harry Kryshnah - September 25, 2005 10:44 AM
This is an old story that's been discredited. I don't think the Sun printed the discreditation, though.
40. seminole - September 25, 2005 8:59 PM
put me in the "Angelina can adopt me" camp.
I require...no, no, I DEMAND to be breast fed.
although I do wish these hot actresses would stop mucking up their bodies with shitty tattoos. I'll give Angelina a pass because I think she's mentally ill and she's still 99.98% hot instead of 99.99%.
41. him_lover - September 25, 2005 9:53 PM
what is wrong with the tattoos? i think they are sexy as all hell. shit, i think she needs to get some with colour, maybe a hottie pin-up girl on her thigh...
angie is soooo fucking hot. i'm a chick, and i would suck her clit all night.
as for brad, who cares? jennifer looks like a horse, and she's a whiny bitch. give me a hot crazy opinionated woman over a whiny horse any day.
42. seminole - September 25, 2005 11:26 PM
I didn't say there was anything wrong with tattoos per se, just big ugly ones that cover half your stomach and back.
when a woman has a perfect body, I see no need to cover it with the bad artwork of some biker circus freak...
angie is soooo fucking hot. i'm a chick, and i would suck her clit all night.
or maybe I do. forget everything I just said.