May 20 2005

Nobody watches Britney Spears 'Chaotic'

The only rewarding part of seeing drunk hillbillies stumble into undeserved wealth is that they think millions of dollars just kinda shows up when you wish upon a rainbow. Based on the Economics degree I don�t have, that�s not how it works at all. Two years ago, her anus was every 15 year old boys secret playground and the cash just magically piled up. Now she�s a trampy drunken lump and it�s all about to go away. And she has no idea. It�s like watching someone read a paper as they walk down the street with their nuts perfectly aligned with that parking meter that aint movin. The latest in the long list of obvious signs that the end is near comes from the just released ratings of her reality show Chaotic. Reality TV World has the story:

"�the show's one-hour premiere proved to be a largely buzzless bust for the network, with its Tuesday, May 17 9-10PM ET/PT broadcast averaging only 3.66 million viewers, a 1.9/5 rating/share in the Adults 18-49 demographic, and a 2.7/7 rating/share in Adults 18-34."

There�s a very funny and brilliantly scathing review of the show here. And don�t punch your monitor after looking at these Ferrari pictures. It's just another hundred grand that's never coming back. And since the pregnant woman doesn�t have a seat belt on, with any luck some kind of criminal charges are on their way.