May 19, 2005

Jennifer Lopez is classy and gorgeous

“Jennifer Lopez shocked fans … this weekend when she wore a T-shirt bearing the words "Fuck It!". The diva stunned concert organizers with the crass slogan on a black cropped-top at the eighth annual Wango Tango pop festival in California on Saturday.”

J.Lo’s charming contempt for the parents who paid for their 12 year old girls to make up the audience at Wango Tango is obviously delightful, but it doesn’t quite explain the rest of this outfit. Or why she’s sweatin like an Alabama mule. And there’s a homeless woman down the street from me who has an artificial eye that’s actually just a ping-pong ball that she drew on with a sharpie, and I’ve seen her eat a cigarette off the ground and chase a cat - probably for dinner - but I’ve never seen her go out with her hair looking as bad as that mystery on top of J.Los head. Never hire a beaver as a hairstylist, I don't care how charming he is during the interview.

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