Feb 23 2005Mary Kate and Ashley split up
To the best of my knowledge I’m still banned from the Santa Barbara Zoo because I fed a chipwich to a llama and it died. My defense of, “What am I, a vet? Llamas can’t eat chipwiches?” seemed to fall on deaf ears. As did my pointing out that, unless this was some sort of magical llama, this thing was clearly several hundred years old and it was only coincidence that it died while we were sharing a chipwich.
I don’t know why I thought this was gonna be a good intro and I don’t really remember where I was going with this, but I’m almost positive it was fuckin brilliant. And since I refuse to live in the past, here’s something about Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen, because the submitters seem to think I toss and turn all night unless I know that the teenage billionaires are okay.
(Just kidding about that last part. Honestly, I don’t know where this page would be without the Olsen’s. Jesus, it’s depressing when I say it out loud like that.)
Reader Comments
1. Anon - January 15, 2009 12:25 AM
"when in the history of ever has a beautiful woman ever agreed to let a stranger kiss her ass just because he asked?" Watch the video carefully..he did not ask her to kiss her ass, he just said "I know I'm kissing your ass here and SHE almost immediately decided to make a gesture of it...despite what Leno said it was HER idea! Now that's even more rare, having the woman suggest it..if only more hot women in the real world actually suggested that we go right ahead and literally kiss their hot rears...