February 23, 2005

Mary Kate and Ashley split up

To the best of my knowledge I’m still banned from the Santa Barbara Zoo because I fed a chipwich to a llama and it died. My defense of, “What am I, a vet? Llamas can’t eat chipwiches?” seemed to fall on deaf ears. As did my pointing out that, unless this was some sort of magical llama, this thing was clearly several hundred years old and it was only coincidence that it died while we were sharing a chipwich.

I don’t know why I thought this was gonna be a good intro and I don’t really remember where I was going with this, but I’m almost positive it was fuckin brilliant. And since I refuse to live in the past, here’s something about Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen, because the submitters seem to think I toss and turn all night unless I know that the teenage billionaires are okay.

(Just kidding about that last part. Honestly, I don’t know where this page would be without the Olsen’s. Jesus, it’s depressing when I say it out loud like that.)

Previous Entries