Jan 15 2005Naomi Campbell Fashion Rio Wardrobe Malfunction
Naomi Campbell supposedly had a wardrobe malfunction last Thursday during Fashion Rio, when her sleeveless deep V-neck dress ended up showing off her right nipple. When asked to comment, she started beating up her maid and running through walls. And then she headbutted everybody. Twice. Seriously though, how can this be considered a wardrobe malfunctions? Half the runway models out there are walking around with their breasts exposed. That's like the first thing they teach you at modeling school. I mean after throwing up of course. Images after the jump. (nsfw)
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Jan 14 2005Nicole Kidman Not Lesbian
Nicole Kidman says she wishes she were attracted to women because it would be easier to find a relationship. Nicole says she has trouble finding the right man, but could never be a lesbian because she is "hooked on the male physique". Nicole says women don’t do it for her saying, "I love the way a man thinks. I love the way a man smells. I love the way men look." That's all fine and dandy, but do men have breasts? That's what we should really be talking about here. Big beautiful breasts. Wait, what?
Jan 14 2005Fantastic Four Promo Shoot
Do you think that if enough people asked, the producers of Fantastic Four would have Jessica Alba naked throughout the entire movie? They could just say that her invisibility powers got all screwed up and whenever she puts clothes on it becomes invisible. Not only would the movie be 400 million times more successful, I also predict it would win the Academy Award for Best Costume Design.
Jan 14 2005Ashlee Simpson Still Idiot
Ashlee Simpson doesn't seem to be bothered by the booing she endured at last week's Orange Bowl. "I'm not perfect and I'm not going to be perfect," Ashlee told MTV. "There was some booing that went on after the halftime show was finished. If they didn't like the performance, and that's what it was about, then sorry to them." Somebody needs to shake some sense into this woman for her own good. If she keeps ignoring the fact that she sucks and everybody hates her, somebody is going to just up and shoot her. And I'm not saying that's a bad thing, but I'd just rather see her quit than be murdered.
Jan 14 2005Donald Trump Invites Old Wives
Donald Trump invited his first two wives, Ivana Trump and Marla Maples, to his January 22 wedding to his third wife Melania Knauss. Ivana declined because she had to be in Canada for filming of her Home Shopping Network special, and Maples said she wished them the best, but felt it wouldn’t be appropriate. You know what else wouldn't be appropriate? Me having sex with Melania Knauss in front of Donald Trump. Doesn't mean I wouldn't do it though.
Jan 13 2005Nicolette Sheridan Death Threats
Nicolette Sheridan has reportedly received death threats from angry TV viewers who are offended by her raunchy behavior as Edie on Desperate Housewives. Security on the set has been stepped up and Nicolette has been advised to dress less sexy than her character when she's out in public to avoid potential encounters with crazy people. Sounds like pretty solid advice considering the first thing I think when I see a sexy girl is that I want to kill her. And then have sex with her dead body. Wait did I say that out loud?
Jan 12 2005Kevin Federline Premieres Music
KROQ's Kevin & Bean show talked about Britney Spears' hopes to get husband Kevin Federline launched as a hip hop star. They got on the phone with a Federline impersonator who showed off his rhyming skills, talked about his plans for a K-Unit crew, and gave the station a "world premiere" of his first songs Britney, Sign This Check, Bitch and My Penis Has A Mullet. Now I'm no music expert or anything, but I'm pretty sure that any song titled My Penis Has A Mullet deserves to win at least 19 Grammy Awards.
Download KROQ Federline Segment [KROQ .asf]
Jan 12 2005JoJo Quits School
14-year old pop star JoJo has been forced to quit school because her classmates turned on her and started being mean to her once she became famous. JoJo says that her parents are now home-schooling her, which means it's safe to say that her IQ will never break into the double digits. Stupid people are funny. And so are people named JoJo. And by "funny" I mean a complete waste of space.
Jan 11 2005Lindsay Lohan Rolling Stone Photoshoot
Remember back in the day when Lindsay Lohan didn't have a singing career and wasn't completely annoying? I miss those days. It's hard to imagine that we watched this cute little child actress turn into the skankwhore mess we see today. It's even harder to imagine that a singer has emerged that's worse than Ashlee Simpson. That's downright ridiculous, man.
Jan 11 2005The Bachelorette 3 Twist
TVgasm reports that one of the suitors on The Bachelorette 3 might actually be gay. Now if only there was somebody to watch or care about the damn show, because I sure as crap don't. Unless there are naked people on the show, in which case I completely change my mind.
i have no idea whether you watch the bachelorette, but one of the new suitors (fabrice) is gay, and an actor - i went on a few dates with him about 6 months ago. plus now he has a boyfriend. so is that supposed to be the twist this season or something? or are these just standard reality-show lies? because he's certifiably light in the loafers, this guy. we went on several dates and he was great but we just didn't have chemistry. silly reality shows.
Jan 11 2005Kirstie Alley Fudgesicle Pleasure
The Star reports that an upcoming episode of Kirstie Alley's Fat Actress will involve a sex scene with a Fudgesicle and Mark Curry. Apparently, Kirstie will put on oversized lingerie and then moan with pleasure as she devours a Fudgesicle, while Mark Curry spanks her and calls her "bootylicious." As pleasant as that sounds, I think I'll just stick to watching Desperate Housewives. Throwing up while watching TV just isn't one of my favorite things to do.
Jan 11 2005Britney Spears Outsells Paris
Britney Spears' perfume, Curious, has outsold Paris Hilton's fragrance, Paris, by a wide margin. Insiders say that Paris is extremely upset at the poor sales, but that's to be expected since Paris Hilton is a whiny little mantis girl and nobody has ever heard of her perfume ever. Plus she stars in weird videos featuring herself in underwear spinning around for no apparent reason. Unless you consider turning into a bunny some sort of reason. Which it isn't. And I have no idea what that has to do with selling perfume, but I figured it was somehow related.
Jan 11 2005Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Phone Sex
Here's some lengthy speculation regarding Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston's seperation. I know you're probably as lazy as I am and don't want to read through the entire thing, so I'll help you out and summarize that Jennifer Aniston supposedly caught Brad Pitt having phone sex with Angelina Jolie. To be fair though, resisting actual sex with Angelina Jolie was probably very difficult for Brad, so he deserves some credit.
Jan 11 2005Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz Engaged
People magazine reports that although Cameron Diaz was seen wearing a sparkling diamond on her ring finger, a rep for the actress denies rumors that she's engaged to Justin Timberlake. The Sun had reported that Timberlake proposed to Diaz over the holidays. "Justin and Cameron are really happy," a friend told the British tabloid. "They spent a lot of time together over the holidays and they decided the time was right to get engaged. Justin spent a fortune on the ring. Cameron was thrilled with it." Access Hollywood has also confirmed that Justin Timberlake did indeed purchase a diamond ring from jeweler Neil Lane. How about we all just agree that Cameron Diaz looks like a really skinny pig and move on with our lives? Sound good? Sounds great!
Jan 10 2005Ashlee Simpson Spoof
As if she wasn't a big enough joke as it is, some internet clowns decided to go ahead and make a spoof of The Ashlee Simpson Show. It's definitely funny, though I'm not sure how comfortable I am watching a man pretend to be a woman pretending to give a blowjob to another man. However, since Ashlee Simpson technically really is a man, I guess it's okay. Wait, what? Ashlee Simpson is a man?
Jan 10 2005Petra Nemcova Survives Tsunami
Czech supermodel Petra Nemcova arrived in Prague on Saturay for further treatment after being injured in the Asian tsunami. Nemcova was vacationing in Thailand with her boyfriend, photographer Simon Atlee, when the waves swept through their beach hut. She reportedly clung to a tree for eight hours as the water swirled around her and has been recovering from her injuries, including a broken pelvis, in a Thai hospital. I guess some supermodels are tougher than they appear, which only makes sense considering most supermodels look about as tough as a marshmallow puppy. Yes that's right, I said a marshmallow puppy.
Jan 10 2005Aaron Carter Car Explodes
Entertainment Tonight reports that pop star Aaron Carter had what he calls a "near death experience" last Thursday morning when the car he was driving caught fire on a Florida highway. Seventeen-year-old Carter, was driving to a photoshoot when a mattress fell off the truck that he was following. He was unable to avoid the mattress so he drove his Cadillac Escalade over it, causing the car to ignite. After pulling over to the side of the road the vehicle exploded, with Carter narrowly escaping with only minor injuries. I'd comment that it's a shame Aaron made it out, but I'm more surprised that Escalades can't seem to make it over mattresses without exploding. Looks like 90% of the hip-hop population have invested in some quality SUV's.
