December 3, 2004
Jessica Simpson Daisy Duke Candids
I knew that Jessica Simpson was playing Daisy Duke, and I knew that meant she would be wearing short jean shorts, but I hadn't really prepared myself for just how wickedly hot she would look in them. I sort of recall that the original Daisy Duke wore a shirt or something, but if the producers of the new movie have decided to just go with a bikini, that's fine by me. Maybe they should just lose the whole jean shorts thing altogether and just throw Jessica Simpson in a thong. Sure it would be a slap in the face to the original series, but I think I'm okay with that.
Oh, and Jessica Simpson has huge breasts thighs. It's like they took a hot blonde and implanted her onto some tree trunks. I'm not complaining or anything, I'm just saying. Saying that she has huge thighs that is! Wait, I just said that...
Jessica Simpson Workout Video
Word on the street is that Jessica Simpson is currently working on an exercise video. She got the idea from all the squats and lunges she's been doing to firm up her butt to play Daisy Duke in the Dukes of Hazzard movie. In addition to a video, she also hopes to come out with her own line of exercise equipment. I don't know about the equipment, but as long as she wears some tight workout clothes and bares her signature breasts, I'm sure the video will sell just fine. Just fine indeed.
Adriana Lima Nipple Slip
I was watching Jay Leno a couple of weeks ago (I think I was high or drunk or both) and he had a segment where he sent some weasel to interview the gang of the Victoria's Secret Angels Across America Tour. Long story short, Adriana Lima was the absolute bitchiest supermodel I have ever seen. Imagine every stereotype you have about foreign people and supermodels, and that's exactly what Adriana was. I mean it's not like she was driving a taxi or snorting coke, but she had this thick Brazillian accent and was being the most stuck up person I have ever witnessed. Man, it's a good thing she's hot. Anyways, here are some images featuring her nipple popping out during a photoshoot. And judging from the quality of the pictures, they appear to have been taken with a shoe. Images after the jump. (nudity)
Gisele Bundchen Nose/Boob Job
Good Plastic Surgery claims that Gisele Bundchen has gotten a rhinoplasty as well as a boob job. Looks like there's still hope for all you ugly-nosed flat-chested women out there. Just invest a few grand in plastic surgery and maybe you too could become one of the most beautiful women on the planet. Doesn't it feel like cheating when supermodels get plastic surgery though? You just naturally assume that they're this chosen few amongst a world of uggos and when it turns out that they're the work of a skilled plastic surgeon you get pissed. So pissed that you break your fist through an old woman's windshield, screaming profanities and shaking your ass like a crazy person. Or maybe that's just me...
Gisele Bundchen Nose Job [Good Plastic Surgery]
Gisele Bundchen Breast Implants
Heidi Klum Breast Implants
Tyra Banks Breast Implants <-- Bullshit
December 1, 2004
Aaron Carter L'Uomo Vogue
I'm sure somebody somewhere thought that dressing Aaron Carter like a freak and taking weird pictures of him was a good idea, but they were dead wrong. These pictures suck horrible ass. Nobody cares for androgynous looking pop stars wearing donkey (gorilla?) masks and disgusting clothes. Aaron Carter is a big enough joke as it is, without having to pose for weird European magazines. Why not just take the kid out back, stick a homsexual penis into his ass, and then publish photos from the whole thing onto the internet. Okay I'm not really sure where I was going with that, but it was probably somewhere brilliant.
Christina Aguilera
I think that this Santa dress should be mandatory clothing for all women in the month of December. Sure there are a lot of fatties out there that wouldn't make it look as good as Christina Aguilera does, but that's the kind of sacrifice you have to make when you want to see a bunch of sexy Santa-ettes walking around. And believe you me, that's something I'd very much want to see.
McRorie One Man Live
I guess it's time for this guy's 15 minutes of fame. Combining the best (if there is such a thing) of mullets, spandex, headbands, and electronic keyboards, McRorie is without a doubt one of the dumbest things you will ever see. And yet somehow people still enjoy it. Who am I to argue against the power of the mullet?
Britney Spears Buys New Dog
The only thing more ironic than Britney Spears wearing a Harvard sweatshirt would be Alessandra Ambrosio winning the Ugly Award. You see, because Alessandra is not ugly and Britney Spears is not smart. That's how irony works, my friends.
View Britney Spears Buys New Dog [Slave4U -- thanks Suzie]
Lindsay Lohan Picturetrail Photos
View Lindsay Lohan's Friend's Picturetrail Account (thanks everybody)
*Note: The friend is circled in the picture, not Lindsay Lohan. Some people were getting confused. That makes me sad.
**Update: The Picturetrail account has so been shut down. If anybody happened to save the pictures, send them my way so that I can put them up.
***Update: And the mirror surfaces. (thanks Matt)
****Update: And another mirror because the other one's down. (thanks Devin)
November 30, 2004
Versace Barbie
I didn't even know that they made this sort of thing. I guess every little girl wants to be just like Versace, so they can get high on cocaine and drink champagne off of naked men's abs. Not that that's what Versace does, it's just what little girls want to do.
View Versace Barbie [Barbie Collector]
Paris Hilton Brunette
Trademark blonde Paris Hilton has gone brunette – at least temporarily. The hotel heiress and Simple Life star, 23, was photographed en route to Jerry's Deli in Beverly Hills with brown tresses instead of her trademark platinum blonde. But according to Hilton's rep, the socialite's new look was not permanent. "It's a wig. She just wore a wig," says her rep, who didn't know why Paris toned down her hair. [Source -- thanks Chris]
None of that explains why she looks 50-years old though. And like Tammy Faye Bakker no less.
Ashanti
I don't care much for her music (everything she does sounds like backup), but these photos of Ashanti are admittedly hot. I normally frown upon all the bling bling, with the personalized visor and dangling gold chains, but Ashanti pulls the whole thing off. Plus, her choice in shorts is totally fine by me. If you're going to wear shorts, you might as well make them the shortest damn shorts in the world. Now if only somebody could explain why she's sweating like a damn maniac.
Lynn Collins Close Call
I'm not really familiar with Lynn Collins or any of her work, but apparently she enjoys wearing extremely low cut tops that get about as close to her nipple as humanly possible. I don't think this constitutes a nipple slip, but it's about as close as you can get before complete nippleage occurs. And yes I know 'nippleage' isn't a word, but it sounded correct at the time and I'm far too stuck up to correct myself.
View Lynn Collins Nipple Slip [Yahoo -- thanks Vincent]
Paris Hilton Screwed
According to Australian Weekly Magazine, Paris Hilton is planning to quit her pop career before it has even begun. Paris is reportedly devasted by the poor reaction to her debut single Screwed, and is ready to give up for good. "She feels no-one is giving her a chance with her music," a source revealed. "Hardly any of the radio stations will play her stuff." Life is so unfair for poor Paris Hilton.
JoJo Dreams Big
The infamously young JoJo is already thinking about her second album and declaring her wish list of collaborators. "This is so weird, but I would really like to work with Dr. Dre...because nobody would expect that." You know who especially wouldn't expect that? Dr. Dre. Because last time I checked, Dr. Dre doesn't work with teenie-bop 14-year olds who dress and act like they're 18-year old sluts. Seriously, when I saw JoJo's first music video I figured she was at least 18. Color me surprised when I discovered that she was really just a 6-year old in a 14-year old costume pretending to be an 18-year old girl. Or...something like that.
November 29, 2004
Hilary Duff Rides Lollipop
It's about time somebody recognized the underrated sport of lollipop surfing and did a photoshoot in its honor. I can't say I'm a fan of Hilary Duff's giant rectangle body (I like girls to have waists and hips), but I'm going to give this photoshoot a thumbs up. There's just nothing quite like a teenie-bopped out teenie-bop posing on a giant lollipop to make me want to get totally high on cocaine. I mean giant lollipops? It's like I'm already high.
Julia Roberts Names Twins
Julia Roberts gave birth to twins early Sunday morning to her husband of two years Danny Moder. In typical celebrity fashion, she decided to do away with any semblance of normality and named her children Hazel Patricia and Phinnaeus Walter. Seriously? Phinnaeus Walter? I don't think anybody has ever had the name Phinnaeus ever in the history of real life. That's the kind of name you read about in story books about old cobblers and talking mice. All this time I figured Julia Roberts to be somewhat of a regular person but now I know the horrible truth. Just once I'd like a celebrity to not be completely insane.
Read Bundles of joy for Julia Roberts [USA Today]
