June 26, 2004
Britney Spears
Britney Spears' publicist has confirmed that she is in fact engaged (Spears, not the publicist). Looks like somebody is going after Jennifer Lopez's title of 'Most Married Singer Ever,' though using the term 'singer' with Spears and Lopez is kind of like using the term 'actor' with Ben Affleck. Burn!
Britney Spears 1 <-- I see London...
Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen
Celebrity Justice has gotten their hands on some juicy information regarding a lawsuit between the Olsen twins and video game maker Acclaim. Turns out the twins are pissed that Acclaim failed to make a game using the rights to their brand name. Instead of being sued, Acclaim should be awarded some sort of medal for not forcing some piece of shit Olsen game on the world. Can you even imagine what that game would be like? I picture a first person shooter where instead of shooting, you SUCK ASS AND MAKE THE PLAYER WANT TO DIE.
Read Article [Celebrity Justice]
Olsen Twins 1
Olsen Twins 2
Olsen Twins 3 <-- Nice Outfits! (wtf?)
Olsen Twins 4
Olsen Twins 5
Olsen Twins 6
Olsen Twins 7
June 25, 2004
Kirsten Dunst
Without a doubt the best picture of Kirsten Dunst I've ever seen. To be fair though, it looks nothing like her usual ugly self.
Jessica Alba
I have no idea what Into the Blue is about, nor do I care. As long as Jessica Alba will be running around in a bikini it's all good. Sadly, Alba hasn't had a chance to showcase her talent in any of her roles. And by 'talent' I obviously mean her naked body, which is something that should be showcased much more in this world. And something that shouldn't be showcased? How about Paul Walker's buffed up body. Sure, he's dreamy and all, but anything that detracts from Alba's splendor is something I could do without.
*UPDATE: Here's a little preview clip from Into the Blue.
June 24, 2004
The Simpson Sisters
We always thought it was curious that Jessica Simpson suddenly became hot once Newlyweds hit the scene. Although the pictures from Good Plastic Surgery don't really do her justice, they at least suggest what everybody has always assumed: Jessica Simpson has blonde hair. We should also probably mention that Jessica was forced to cancel some shows due to a kidney infection. That's what happens when you're blonde. You get kidney infections.
View Jessica Simpson's Good Plastic Surgery
View Ashlee Simpson's Good Plastic Surgery
Jessica Simpson 1
Jessica Simpson 2
Jessica Simpson 3
Jessica Simpson 4
Jessica Simpson 5
Jessica Simpson 6
Hosting Change
We've gone through a slew of hosting problems recently but we've hopefully landed a winner, as well as an updated design. From here on out it should be smooth sailing with no more interruptions. Now back to making fun of celebrities.
June 23, 2004
Mary-Kate Olsen
After much speculation in the tabloids recently that Mary-Kate Olsen has an eating disorder, the teen actress has entered a facility to seek treatment for the problem.
That's what happens when you're fat like Mary-Kate. Maybe if she was thinner like her sister, she would be more popular in school. And uh...she also has small breasts and a big butt. And she's ugly.
...and has a beard. I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore.
The Olsen Twins 1
The Olsen Twins 2
The Olsen Twins 3
The Olsen Twins 4
The Olsen Twins 5
The Olsen Twins 6
The Olsen Twins 7
The Olsen Twins 8
The Olsen Twins 9
The Olsen Twins 10
The Olsen Twins 11
The Olsen Twins 12
The Olsen Twins 13
The Olsen Twins 14
The Olsen Twins 15
The Olsen Twins 16
The Olsen Twins 17 <-- Check out her legs. Much too fat!
June 22, 2004
Britney Spears
Britney Spears, her sister Jamie Lynn and her mom went to a Santa Monica, California, pet store over the weekend to buy a couple of puppies, and as always, the paparazzi followed their every move in full force. But according to one photographer, while Britney's mom was backing out of the parking lot, she hit him with her Toyota Scion.
Why is Britney's mom driving a damn Scion? You'd think with the kind of money Britney makes, she could afford to buy her mom something a little fancier like a Camry or an Accord. Or I dunno...a Ferrari.
Liv Tyler
Just in from People magazine: Actress Liv Tyler (and Aerosmith lead Steven Tyler's daughter) is expecting a baby. Her publicist confirmed to the magazine that Tyler and her rock singer husband Royston Langdon are overjoyed and look forward to the arrival of their child.
Looks like Liv and Royston have had sex with each other. You heard it here first!
June 21, 2004
Britney Spears
Britney Spears is going to take another walk down the aisle, according to a report in the New York Post. Boyfriend Kevin Federline proposed to the pop star and she reportedly accepted.
It wouldn't surprise me if this turns out to be true, considering Britney Spears has finally degraded into the trailer trash from whence she came. She sure was hot back in the day though, before she decided to eat her way to fatsville.
Christian Slater's Hooker
HOLLYWOOD hunk Christian Slater betrayed his wife with a £300-a-time London vice girl, the News of the World can reveal.
I wish I was a celebrity so that I could afford the £300 prostitutes as well. I mean those $5 skanks I get from Mexico are always so fat and disgusting. I'm not into fat and disgusting. It just turns me the wrong way.
Read Article (with pictures)
Jenna Lewis
Looks like even fake celebrities are getting into the sex tape business. Survivor's Jenna Lewis decided to tape her honeymoon in a brilliant move to please men everywhere. I've never watched Survivor and I have no idea who Jenna Lewis is, but as long as she's naked and having sex, I'll pretend to give a rat's ass.
Jenna Lewis vidcaps [thanks Matthew]
*UPDATE: I guess this is the 'official' site for the sex tape. You have to pay for the whole thing, but there's a preview clip available for free.
